Chapter 53-My Own Worst Enemy

"You never answered my question."
"What question?"  I knew what he was referring to, but was still trying to dodge it all the same.  It had been about two weeks since he proposed to me and we hadn't talked about it since that night.
"You know what what question."
"Come on, come to mommy."
Teaching the boys to walk was going well, but they were still a little wobbly.
"You can't avoid it forever.  I'm not going anyway so you will need to answer me.  Do you love me?"
"Yes of course I do."
"Then the answer is simple."
"I told Carter I would meet him for lunch today.  Will you be ok with the boys alone?"

He gave Dunham a kiss on the head then walked out of the room.  I got both the boys changed and put them in their cribs with a bottle.  The door to his office was closed.  I thought about telling him I was leaving, but I decided against it.  I knew I was going to have to answer him eventually, but I wasn't ready to tell him no just yet.  The answer was anything but simple.

I was gone for about three hours and when I arrived home Marcus was outside playing with the boys.
"Hey."
Marcus didn't even look up at me.  He was clenching his jaw, I could tell he was angry about something.  I knew he didn't like the way I left things earlier, but I didn't expect the level of hostility I felt coming from him.
"Did you have a nice lunch?"  The question sounded more like an accusation.
"Yes it was nice to get out a bit."
"That's good." Then he got up and went back into his office.  We spent the rest of the day not really speaking.  He would help with the boys, but refused to talk to me about anything unless it had to do with them.  That night after the boys were in bed, I was hoping he would tell me why he was so angry.

"I'm going to sleep in the guest room tonight."
"What? Why?"
"Also I'm going to head back to Riverview for a little while.  There are some things I need to take care for work that can't be done remotely."  When he looked at me, his face was filled with mixed emotions, anger, sadness, grief, and all of it caused by me.

"Marcus, wait.  Tell me why you're so angry at me.  Is it because I won't answer your proposal?"  We had been doing the dance of me avoiding his answer for the last two weeks, I couldn't comprehend what changed today.
"Amari I love you, and probably will always love you but I won't be made a fool of.  I think after two weeks of avoiding it, I know what your answer is especially after today."
"Today, what are you talking about?"
"You didn't have lunch with Carter.  Unless he has the ability to be in two places at once, he stopped by today while you were supposedly at lunch with him."
He was suppose to be working.  I didn't think he would come by the house, last time I had spoken with him he said he was pulling a 24 shift at the hospital.  I was caught in a lie and feared what the repercussions would be.  The one thing he has asked of me was to be honest, and I couldn't even do that. 

"Marcus it's not what you think."
"What I think is the woman I love lied to me today.  She's still hiding things from me and I won't live that way."  His words were strained but I could hear the melancholy in his voice.
"Please let me explain."
"I rather not hear the details of your secret meeting with him.  It's obvious that no matter what, I can't compete with him."
I was the reason nothing good lasted for me.  I was out to sabotage any bit of happiness that comes along.

"Are you sleeping with him Amari?"
I couldn't answer him.  I was astonished by the accusation that he believed I would cheat on him.  I guess I couldn't blame him but it was still upsetting that he would think that of me.
"Are you!" he quietly demanded.
I shook my head.  I wiped the tears away from my cheeks, trying to get the words out to make him understand.
"I...I didn't go see him."
"Please stop lying to me.  I know you still have feelings for him, it's obvious when you close up when I ask about him.  You are still seeing him otherwise why would you feel the need to lie to me today?"
He had insecurities when it came to my relationship with Mulo which probably stemmed from the fact that he was a subject I didn't like talking about. "I'm not lying.  I haven't seen him since that day I told you everything."  I was shaking, scared of losing the best thing that has happened to me.  "I went to him that day to ask him to let me go.  I wanted to be with you, to try and see if things could work for us.  So far he has stayed away."
"Well if you didn't see him, where did you go and why couldn't you tell me the truth?"
"I um, I went to the cemetery." 
"And you couldn't tell me you wanted to visit your babies?  That doesn't make any sense.  Why would you feel the need to hide that?"
"Because before that I went to see Marisol." I blurted out.  The look on his face showed he still didn't fully believe what I was saying.

"Why would you go there? From everything you've told me about her, she's dangerous and you should keep your distance.  And that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me."
"I wanted to tell you yes.  I really would like to be free to do that but with this thing hanging over me I can't.  I can't tie you to a life that that, it's not fair for you.  I wanted to reason with her, to try and appeal to the softer side of her that I hoped was still there."
"What was her answer?"
I thought back on the conversation I had with Marisol.  She truly was a soulless person.  She was willing to let me out of this but for a cost and it was one I wouldn't to pay.  I wasn't like her or my father and I couldn't just trade away someone for the benefit of myself.
"She said no."
"I leave in two days.  I will stay in the guest room until then."
"Marcus, I'm sorry.  Please don't leave me.  I need you."  I wrapped my arms around his neck begging him to stay.  "I sorry, please forgive me.  I don't know why I didn't just tell you."  It felt as if he wanted to return my embrace but was stopping himself.  He removed my arms from his neck and kissed my hands.
"Goodnight Amari."

I was my own worst enemy.  Marcus asked very little of me, and I still managed to screw it up.  I lay there unable to sleep.  Thinking back on my fight with Marcus, he was hurt and disappointed in my lying to him still especially when it wasn't necessary.  I was such an idiot.  Then my thoughts turned to my conversation with Marisol.

"You want to be free?"
"Yes, this thing was between you and my father.  This baby thing doesn't hurt him, it only hurts me.  He clearly made his choice and I wasn't it so why am I being punished?"
"It started out that way but things changed along the way.  You took something from me, so I want something in return."

"What are you talking about?  I haven't taken anything from you, I've been the one giving.  You have my daughter, you have destroyed my life, you have set out to do and say whatever mean and hateful thing you can think of to me.  So what exactly did I take from you?"
"You aren't very bright are you?"
I just rolled my eyes at her.  I no longer wanted to be a part of her game.  It had already cost me more than anyone should ever have to pay.
"I don't have a lot of time here, just get to the point please."

"This would make the second time I lost a man to a weak and pathetic human.  I don't like being replaced and I don't like losing.  You want to stop having babies, fine.  I will just relieve you of that very handsome chocolatey gentleman that seems to be so in love with you.  Marcus is it?"

"No.  He has nothing to do with this, and really neither do I.  You want to be all pissed because Mulo fell in love with me, well you only have yourself to blame!  If you hadn't been so out for revenge against my father, we may never have crossed paths.  You sent him into my life, you started that chain of events!  Do you know how much easier my life would be without him or you in it?"
"Well aren't you all brave.  Marcus must be doing something right, I didn't think you had this much fight in you.  I don't know if I like it or if I should just kill you now."
I didn't know I had that much fight in me either, but I had something to fight for.  That made all the difference at that moment and it was the truth.  She wanted to be jealous over Mulo's feelings for me, but she put him in my life and it backfired on her.  Now she wanted to punish me more.
"Those are my terms take it or leave it.  No more babies, I get to have sweet loving Marcus."
"I don't know why I expected you to have a heart." 
"Well you can thank your father for that." 

That was it, I wasn't going to let any of them cause me any more pain or heartache.  I would find another way to be rid of Marisol later but tonight I was going to make sure the one person who didn't have any ulterior motives for being with me, didn't leave me. He may be mad at me, but I wasn't giving up that easy.  I got up and headed over to the guest room.  I opened the door, he was laying across the bed but I couldn't tell if he was sleeping.

"What do you want Amari?"
"You."
He sat up as I walked over and climbed onto the bed.
"I can't say yes right now but that doesn't mean I won't ever say yes should you ask me again at a later date." As I spoke I laid gentle kisses on his neck.

"But what I can promise is no more lies or secrets." My kisses started moving up his neck.  I kissed him behind his ear, then on his cheek and finally on his lips as I pushed him down onto the bed.  I straddled him and threw my nightgown onto the floor.

He started grinning, "Are you trying to use sex to get out of trouble?"
"Maybe.  Is it working?" I asked continuing to plant kisses on his body.
"Oh yeah, it's working."
We spent the next few hours enjoying each other to the point of exhaustion.  It would take a lot of coffee to keep up with the boys tomorrow but it would be worth it.

The next morning things were better.  He was still upset about the lying but he had forgiven my idiotic indiscretion but with the condition it would be the last time.  No matter how bad the news may be, I was to tell him so we could work through it together.
"Do you really have to go?"
"Yes.  I've told them I was coming so I have to go.  You and the boys can come with me.  I know my mom has been wanting to meet them."
Back to Riverview, that would mean seeing my parents as well. 
"The boys have a doctor's appointment, but we can fly out after."
"Are you sure about traveling with two toddlers on your own?"
"Yes, I'll be fine."

It was a depressing day when Marcus left.  I knew I would be seeing him again in two days, but he'd been staying with me since I had the babies.  This was his first trip back, and I missed him as soon as he walked out of the door.  The boys were ready for their naps so I was putting them in their cribs when I heard the door chime as it was opened.

"Hey babe did you forget something." I called walking towards the living room.
"What are you doing in my house?" I demanded.
"You really should lock your doors, you never know what kind of crazy person could walk in."
"It was locked."
"No, I knocked and it opened."
I knew he was lying.  I know I had closed and locked the door.
"What do you want?"
"I just came to see the boys.  I haven't really had a chance yet."
"Well they're napping so you will have to come back later, but call first."
"I could stay for a while.  I would hate for you to get lonely with your boyfriend gone now."
How did he know Marcus had left?  I was getting a very eerie feeling about him being here.  Even more than the usual creepy feeling I got when he was around me.
"We'll be fine, now leave."
"Are you this rude to all of your guests or do you save that special fire just for me?  I like it, kinda turns me on."

I was very uncomfortable with his comments and the way he was looking at me.  He always made me feel so exposed and dirty and I didn't want to spend another minute alone with him.  One of the boys started crying.
"I need to go see about him, so please leave now."
"Oh, let me." He walked passed him towards the back of the house ignoring my calls for him to stop.  He got to the nursery and picked up Dax.

"Aren't you a cute guy.  You look just like your father."  The way he said those words sent chills down my spine.  I went over and took Dax from him and put him back in his crib.  After getting him settled down I found David standing in my bedroom.
"So this is where the magic happens."  He was focused in on the bed and he had a glazed over look in his eyes.

"Get out of my room and get out of my house now before I call the police."
He just looked at me and laughed. He stepped towards to me and grabbed my arm yanking me closer to him.  He pressed his body up against mine.

"I am the police." he whispered angrily in my ear before leaving.  I locked the door as soon as he walked out, my hands were shaking so bad it was hard to press the buttons to set the alarm.

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So bonus pics.  The first one was in the last chapter but no one spotted the creeper.  Can you find him now?  The last two are extra pics of Marcus being a good daddy.