Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Chapter 80-Consequences

I avoided Jonas for as long as I could which turned out to be only a few days.  Carter seemed to be doing the same to me and I couldn’t say I blamed him.  The relationships that had always been so relaxed and easy had now been made tense and complicated.  I had gotten everyone off to school when there was a knock at the door.
“You’ve been ignoring my calls.”  Jonas accused when I opened the door.
“Not ignoring.  I’ve been busy.”
“Are you busy now?”
“Great.  We need to talk.”
Jonas walked into the living room.  I sighed, closed the door then followed him in there.
Continue Reading: "Chapter 80-Consequences"

Monday, June 4, 2012

Chapter 79-Into the Fire

“Mmm, Marcus.”  I murmured softly as I snuggled closer to the warm body next to me.  The strong arms tightened in response.  I inhaled deeply which caused my eyes to fly open.  That was not his scent, this was not Marcus.  I looked around; I was in my house in my bed with a strange man.  I swallowed hard before lifting my gaze to see who I was lying with.  Oh no. I tried to ease away from the sleeping figure not wanting to wake him until after I had a chance to put on some clothes.  As I lifted his arm to free myself I saw a smile form on his lips.
“Good morning.”  He said as he looked at me.  “I don’t know how I never noticed before, but you have really beautiful eyes.”  I closed my eyes then turned my head.  I held on to the blanket while I slid away from him.  I wished I had been too drunk to remember what I did last night but as I glanced back at him, I recalled every detail.  It was a little fuzzy but it was there.  Bumping into him at the bar, drinking, talking, dancing, laughing having a good time.  Me asking him to stay with me a while because I didn’t want to be alone after he escorted me home.  Him holding me, him looking at me the same way Carter had then me kissing him.  In the back of my mind some tiny voice said this was wrong that I should have stopped but neither of us did.  I was so lonely and so very very drunk but so lonely.
“Amari are you ok?”
“Yeah Jonas I’m fine.”  I got up and ran to the bathroom before he could say anything else.  I locked the door then turned on the shower.  How could I have done this?  My best friend had confessed his love to me and I sleep with his cousin.  I felt low and dirty.  Once I was finished scrubbing myself, I wrapped the towel tightly around me before slowly opening the door.  Jonas was sitting there waiting on me.  I refused to make eye contact as I walked over to the dresser to get clothes.  After retreating back to the bathroom to get dressed I came out once again and he was still there waiting.
“Dax and Dunham sleep late so if you hurry you might be able to leave without them seeing you.  The triplets are probably up so I need to go check on them.”  I still wouldn’t look at him as I moved passed him towards the door.
“Don’t you think we should talk first?”
“No.  I don’t want to talk, there’s nothing to talk about.  I need to start my day and try my best to pretend I didn’t just make this mistake.”  Jonas looked as if I had slapped him.
“A mistake?  That’s what you think this was?  A mistake?”
“What would you call it then?”
“I don’t know but not that. “  Massaging my temples I tried to think of a way to make this better but I couldn’t.  My head was pounding from the combination of a mild hangover mixed with the stress.
“Look Jonas I’m sorry.  But right now I need you to put on your shirt and leave.  I hear them getting up and I have enough to deal with without having to explain why you are here in my room this morning.”
“Try the truth.”  He said angrily “You had too much to drink last night and I brought you home.  I stayed to make sure you were ok.”
“Jonas, please.”  I said burying my face in my hands.  “I’m sorry but please go home.  I had a really bad day yesterday.  I have a major situation I still have to deal with regarding Dunham and this…what we did.”
“Ok.  I’m sorry.  You’re right.”  He said pulling me into a hug.  “I’ll go, but we will need to talk.”
“Thank you.”  Jonas left and I took a few minutes to collect myself before heading into the nursery.  Both Dax and Dunham wandered into the kitchen as I was finishing up with the triplet’s breakfast.
“Morning mom.”  Dax said.  Dunham simply shot me a glare as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.  He took his bowl outside to eat without saying a word to me.  He was actually trying to make me out to be the bad guy in this situation.  I knew I was going to have to talk to him, there was no avoiding it.  First I would call Aric to see how their talk went last night.  The pain in my head was getting worse. 
“Dax watch them for a sec please.”
I went back upstairs hoping I had some aspirin or something I could take to make it stop throbbing.  This was more than a headache. 
Go away.
That’s not very nice.
Go away.
I massaged my temples and after a few minutes the throbbing started to dull a bit.  Before I could call him, my phone rang showing Aric’s number on the ID.
“Nursing a hang over this morning?”  I could hear the humor in his voice.
“Was I that bad last night?”
“Yeah but you’ve been dealing with a lot.  You are entitled to one night to let loose I guess.”
“Well thanks for your permission son.”
“Anytime.  Besides I had a good time.  Kicked Dax’s butt a few times at pool and the babies gave me no trouble.  I’ll have lots of practice for when Nina and I have our own.”  There was a hint of sadness there but he quickly recovered.  “So I’m gonna be an uncle.”
“Yes.  Did you have a chance to talk to him?  Can you tell me what the hell he was thinking?”
“What he was thinking is what got him in this trouble to begin with.  The pregnancy took him by surprise but he wants to do the right thing.  He really feels like he is in love with her.   He pursued her.  She was still wrong for not stopping it but he did go after her.”
She was wrong for not stopping it.  I still couldn’t believe she would do that.  He’s a child, my child and now he’s having one of his own.  Dunham was supposed to be the good one.  Not that Dax wasn’t but Dunham gave me less trouble, he reminded me a lot of Aric until now.
After I hung up with Aric I surprised myself with the next phone call.
“Mrs. Smith…I, I didn’t expect to…”
“Don’t talk, just listen.”  I said slowly as I tried to keep control of my temper.  I could feel it rising by simply hearing her voice.  “Be over here in half an hour understand?”
“Um..yes, yes ma’am.”
I hung up on her without a goodbye then went to find Dax.
“Can you help me take them over to Cece?”
“Yeah sure.”
“You can stay there or go hang out with friends.  I need to talk to your brother.”
“About Embry?”
“You knew?”
“No.”  He said quickly sensing the tone in my voice. “He told me last night.”
We got the kids settled then he took off to his friend’s house.  I found Dunham still outside sitting on the swings.  I still could not believe this was happening.  I keep waiting to wake up from what is turning into one really long really horrible nightmare.
“We need to talk.”  I said taking a seat on the other swing.
“Why do you want to yell at me more?”
“You really want to have an attitude with me Dunham?  I had, I have every right to be upset with you.  Do you have any idea how hard your life is going to be?  I’m an adult and having kids isn’t easy.  You are a kid.”  I turned away as I felt the tears starting to roll down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry mom.  I really am.”  I looked at him and he had tears in his eyes.  My heart broke seeing him like that.
“Oh Dunham what were you thinking?”
“That she was cute and that it would be cool to have an older girlfriend.  But we were careful.  I know we were.  But I do love her mom.  Really I do.”
“Oh Dunham.”  I sighed going over to hug him.  He was in over his head and that fact was hitting him hard now.
“Go get dressed son, she’s on her way over here.”
“Because she has things she needs to answer to.”  The look on my face stopped him from saying anything else.
By the time he got back down stairs Embry was there.  She gave him a weak smile as he walked over towards the couch.
“In the chair.”  I said stopping him.
“Mrs. Smith.” She started but I put my hand up to stop her words.
“Don’t.”  The sight of her was enough to get my blood boiling.  My gums were itching and I was trying not to lose my temper like yesterday.  I was lucky she was too scared of me in general to notice the difference.  After a few cleansing breaths, I spoke again.
“I don’t want to hear you are in love with my son.  I don’t want to hear this wasn’t planned or that you didn’t mean for it to happen.  What you did was WRONG.”  I looked over at Dunham then back to Embry.  “I should have you arrested and if you don’t comply with the terms I am about to give you I will have you arrested and Dunham will just have to get over it.”  I looked directly at him when I spoke those last words so he would know I meant it.
“How far along are you?”
“Um a..about 10 weeks or so.” She stuttered.
“Have you thought about your options?”
“Options?”  She repeated looking from me to Dunham who sat in the chair not saying a word.
“Yes, Embry, your options.  Adoption, termination, keeping it.  Options.”
“Oh…well um.  We had only found out a day or so before we told you.  I um haven’t um really thought that far ahead yet.”  I threw my hands up in frustration. 
“When do you think you will decide?”
“I.  I have two more semesters before I graduate.  I do love him Mrs. Smith so I’ll probably keep it.”  Dunham seemed to relax a little in the chair when she said that. 
“Your family.  Where are they?”
“My mom’s job relocated her to Bridgeport so that’s where she, my younger sister and step dad are now.”
“So are you planning to move to Bridgeport so your family can help you?”
“No I’ve been offered a job here after I graduate.”
“Not the high school.”
She quickly shook her head no as she sensed my displeasure at the idea she would be around other kids like my son.
“I’ll be a third grade teacher.”  She said quietly.
“Ok so this is what’s going to happen.  You of course are fired.  You also are to have no contact with Dunham.”
“Dunham be quiet.”
“You’re 10 weeks now, once you hit 14 weeks it will be safe for you to get a paternity test done.  You and your doctor can decide on the best timing but it will be done.”
Embry sat there shaking her head in agreement while shooting side glances towards Dunham.
“If it’s determined he ---if he is the father then if he wants and if it doesn’t interfere with his school schedule he can attend appointments with you.  You are not to contact him directly still.  All communication will go through me.  If I find you are talking, texting or even send smoke signals to him I will have you arrested.  Am I making myself clear?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“The same goes for you Dunham do you understand?”
“If you two are as in love as you claim then once he’s legal and can make his own decisions I can no longer stand in the way and you two can ride off into the sunset as one big happy family.  Until then these are my terms and they are final.”
Neither of them said anything.  They glanced at me then at each other.
“Thank you for not having me arrested.”  Embry finally said.
“I didn’t do it for you.  I did it for him but I won’t hesitate to change my mind if you break my terms.  Understood?”
“Yes, oh yes ma’am I do.”
“Good you can go now.  Call me once the paternity appointment is set.”
After she left I told Dunham that he would have to get a job if he was the father.  He was upset with me for thinking she might be seeing someone else.  He refused to believe she could do that since they were in love.  It was wrong but I hoped he would have his heartbroken by finding out he wasn’t the father.  He was in love and believed in her.  She was a good person he kept saying.  He didn’t want to wait until he got the results, he wanted to start working now so that he could start saving up to take care of his baby.  He was grounded for the next month that meant no car, no cell phone, no TV, and no computer unless it was school related.  After he helped me go pick up the triplets, he grabbed the paper to find a job.  There were several openings but he was hoping to get on at the book store.  That night after everyone had gone to bed I stared into the night.  Looking at the twinkle of the city lights couldn't help but to wonder if he was out there somewhere.
In the darkness under the stars was he there?  My hope of him coming back was fading and I was being forced to face the reality.  He was gone.  That fact didn't stop me from thinking what he would say or how he would feel to know what I had done.  I had not only slept with someone in my house in the bed I shared with my husband, I slept with my best friend’s cousin after rejecting his advances.  Did the depths of my depravity know no bounds?
"Oh Marcus I'm sorry.  I'm so very, very sorry." I muttered as I hugged myself tighter.
Continue Reading: "Chapter 79-Into the Fire"