Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Chapter 124-What Now?

I knocked lightly on the door before entering Ceula’s hospital room. Ashley was sitting on the bed telling her mother about her day at school and Trey sat beside the bed holding Ceula’s hand. Their family, our family, was complete again. It had been three days since we’d gotten her back. She didn’t remember a lot of what happened just that she’d been taken after she dropped Ashley off from school. Marisol apparently had kept her compelled most of the time because she said her memory was fuzzy on a lot of things. She was extremely dehydrated, had low iron, and of course blood loss, the only bright spot, if you could call it that, was that those newbies of Marisol didn’t use Ceula for anything more than a feeding source.

“Hey Grammy,” Ashley said smiling at me.

“Hi sweetheart,” I replied walking over to give both her and Ceula kisses.

Trey got up to bring a second chair over. “They’re releasing her tomorrow,” he informed me.

“Yes and I’m ready to go home and sleep in my own bed.”

On the surface Ceula seemed to be recovering okay, but I still worried. Ashley had stayed nights with us because Trey didn’t want to leave her side. He’d told me she’d been having nightmares, but when she’d wake she’d have forgotten them that quickly. That was troubling news to hear. Carter was going to run more tests on her. He’d already done a CT that showed nothing. He suspected that whatever was causing her nightmares then instant memory loss was related to her time with Marisol. Considering Mulo had already messed with her head before, anything Marisol could have done might have conflicted and caused some damage we couldn’t see. We were all nervous about her memories of David coming back. Marcus regained his memories of his previous life and he wasn’t compromised like she is now. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. For a second time, I allowed her to fall into the hands of a monster.

“I’m sure the hospital is ready to kick you out to stop the constant flow of visitors to your room,” I joked, pushing away those upsetting thoughts. She gave me a weak smile in return.

All of the family had converged on the hospital once Mulo and I returned. Since then, there was someone here, other than Trey, every day. I leaned forward to smooth her bangs to the side. She was looking better. There were still dark circles under her eyes and bruising showing on her face and around her neck from the repeated biting. Her arms were the same way and it broke my heart to see her like that. It reminded me of finding her after David had worked her over so badly. The anger I had at Marisol for putting her through this made me wish I could kill her all over again. She needed to suffer, to know the pain and terror she’d inflicted on me and my children. Knowing that Ceula still had a long road to recovery made me think Marisol got off to easy by me killing her so quickly.

I stayed and talked to them for a while longer until the nurse walked in with her discharge papers.

“I love you kiddo.”

“Love you too Mom,” she replied, hugging me tighter. “And none of this is your fault,” she whispered in my ear. I pulled back and looked at her. “I know you’re blaming yourself, but you shouldn’t.”

“She’s right,” Trey said. “I know I said some pretty mean things to you and I apologize for that. I was just so angry and scared…”

“Wait, you said mean things to my mom?” Ceula cut in.

“Ooh, Daddy’s in trouble,” Ashley giggled.

“No, he didn’t,” I answered. “He just needed to vent his frustrations,” I smiled over at my son-in-law.

I hated to think anything good came from Marisol’s time in my life, but I doubted I’d have the family I had now if not for her interference. Through all the horrible I’d endured, I was thankful for each of the children I had surrounding me.

When I walked into the house, I heard Finley and Marcus talking in the living room. I still had no idea where things stood with us. With Ceula being home, our focus had been on her. Making sure she was alright and helping to take care of Ashley. Marcus had been by my side being the great guy he always was, at least when people were around. At night, after everyone was in bed, he’d spend hours working out or be locked away in his office. I’d go to sleep alone and wake up alone.

“Thanks Daddy!” I heard Finley say excitedly before she darted up the stairs just as I was heading into the foyer.

I walked into the living room and saw Marcus cuddling with Gracie. “What was that all about?”

“She wanted to use the beach house to host her graduation party. Since it’s vacant right now I told her that was fine.”

“Oh.” In a few weeks, Finley would be graduating and then preparing to move cross country for school. That idea still saddened me, but I couldn’t hold her back. She was growing up and it was my job to support her no matter how scared I was to let her go.

“How’s Ceula?”

“Good,” I replied walking over to get Graham. “She was being discharged when I left.”

“That’s good,” he replied before heading upstairs.

The rest of the day was much like the others. We talked about things that only concerned the kids. Ceula called once she got home. Before dinner, Marcus and I went over to take her some food so she wouldn’t have to worry about cooking. We didn’t stay long because we didn’t want Finley too overwhelmed with the babies. After dinner we got the babies down for the night and Marcus headed downstairs.

I drew myself a bath and thought about how I wanted to broach the subject we’d been avoiding the last few days. Of all the visitors Ceula had gotten, Mulo hadn’t been one of them. He’d sent flowers and a teddy bear for Ashley, but I’d not seen or heard from him since he’d dropped us off at the hospital. Relaxing back in the tub, I tried to let the soothing lavender scent and warm water wash away my worries. My fingers traced the outline of my lips as I remembered the kiss we’d shared on his balcony.

Was that his way of saying goodbye? We’d talked about him leaving, giving me the space I needed for the sake of my marriage, but at times he’d been intent on fighting it. Mulo had finally become the man I’d wanted him to be years ago. Finally he seemed ready to commit, to put my needs ahead of his own for once. But it was too late. He knew that. That’s all that kiss was, his goodbye. It had to be. With everything going on I couldn’t ask him why.

“No! I don’t need the why. I can’t keep thinking about the what-ifs,” I said scolding myself for my wandering thoughts. I loved Mulo, there was no denying that, but I belonged with Marcus.

Pulling the drain on the tub, I stepped out and dressed quickly. Just like I couldn’t dwell on the what-ifs, I couldn’t keep living in the unknown. I loved Marcus and I knew I’d pushed his limits, but a part of me still believed or at least hoped there was still a way for us.

Marcus was sitting at his computer; pictures of houses were on the screen. “Are we moving?”

He exited out of the browser before turning to face me. “Just me.” His voice was devoid of any emotion like when we talked on the phone.

It was unsettling, how unnaturally calm he was these days. I missed the anger, at least then I knew he cared, that he was still invested, but now…it was like he’d checked out. A lump formed in my throat at that thought and I felt the sting in my eyes as I fought back the tears.

“We…were you going to tell me or…” my voice cracked as my emotions got the better of me.

Marcus got up from the chair and I hoped it was to comfort me, but instead he stood there, crossing his arms, unaffected. “Maybe we should talk about this later,” he said. He tried to keep that same calmness, but I detected a hint of waiver in his voice.

“When later?” I screamed at him. “Every conversation we’ve had since I got back as been superficial. So when, when will we have time to talk about you leaving me Marcus? On your way out the door?”

His jaw clenched as he fought to not be affected by my words. I could see he was still trying to remain detached to sever his feelings. He didn’t get to do it that way. I wasn’t perfect, in fact I was well aware of how much I’d fucked up, but I never imagined he’d make plans to leave me in such a way. To keep secrets and make plans without at least talking to me. I couldn’t believe he’d blindside me like this.

“You told me you’d wait. When I called you, you promised me you’d wait. I thought…I thought we’d talk, that we’d fix this but you’re running away!”

“There’s nothing to fix Amari!” he screamed back at me. “What in the hell do you expect from me? I’ve been understanding, and tried and tried to wrap my head around you and him but I can’t and I fucking shouldn’t have to!”

The tears I’d tried to hold in broke loose as I was faced with his anger and frustration. Those feelings that he’d been trying to bury were still there under the surface and I’d managed to release them. I could take his anger better than his indifference, but as I looked at him I saw more than that. I knew this thing with Mulo wasn’t easy on Marcus, that it pained him, but looking at him I saw just how deeply it cut.

“You’re right,” I said, my own anger draining from me leaving only heartbreak in its place. “I know I have no right to ask this of you, but there’s been so much. Always! Just one thing after the next and…I have done wrong. I admit that…I…please Marcus,” I begged hoping that the part of him that still loved me would hear my sincerity.

The frown on his face softened as he ran his hands through his hair. He looked at me and just started shaking his head. “For once I agree with you,” he said and I was hopeful that I’d gotten through to him until he continued. “You don’t have a right to ask anything else of me.”

The finality of those words ripped my heart out and set it ablaze. I drew in a stuttered breath, fighting to not let the despair consume me. This was really it, the end of my marriage. I thought about the babies and how that would work. Having to see him still but not be with him. A sob escaped at the thought. I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Marcus started for the door. “You lied,” I whispered.

He stopped and turned back. “What?”

“You lied to me,” I said louder this time, some of the anger from before returning now. I wasn’t willing to give up on us as easily as he was. He fought his way back into my life, refusing to give up even when I pushed him away. I wasn’t going to let him walk away so easily now.

“What did I ever lie to you about?” he snapped.

“Third time’s a charm, sound familiar? When you asked me to marry you, you shot down my fears, you promised me it would be different this time. That you were different and that you had no plans of leaving me or our family ever again. YOU LIED!” I screamed poking him in the chest.

Marcus stared down at me. His brows drawn together in a deep V. His nostrils flaring out as he took deep breaths, fighting to not be drawn back in to this argument.

“You are different Marcus, because the man I knew would never give up so easily!”

A smile tugged at his lips and the fact that he was smiling scared me more than anything.

“Easy? What part of this has been easy exactly?” he asked, his voice returning to that calm indifference from before. “The part where my wife spent two months with the person I hate most in this world? Or the part where she tells me that she still loves him despite all the shit he’s done to her and our family? Was that the easy part Amari? No? Well, let’s continue to see if we can get to the easy part.” He got angrier as he spoke. All the feelings he'd been trying to keep to himself came bubbling to the surface.

“It has to be the part where my wife tells me she was close to fucking that man, but she managed not to, but not because of the vows she made or anything logical like that. Nope, it’s because fucking Mulo knew how bad it would be on you if he let you cross that line! Have I gotten to the fucking easy part yet Amari?” he yelled. “I have put up with you loving that...that man since our first marriage. You even went so far as to make vows to him during our wedding! So easy? No Amari, loving you has been the hardest goddamned thing I've ever done.”

Each word he spoke shook me to my core. Each angry syllable was like a choke-hold strangling me making it hard to breath. I shrank back, feeling ashamed to be in his presence as he unleashed his well-deserved tirade upon me. My god I was a horrible person! How could I have honestly expected him to stay? I was a fool. A selfish, blind fool. I could finally see things through Marcus' eyes. I looked at the man in front of me. Angry and broken. I’d done that to him. He was a good man. He loved me, he'd been willing to stand by me no matter what and I took that for granted. Tears pooled in the bottom of his eyes and I rushed forward needing, wanting to do something, anything to make it better.

To right the wrongs I’d done to him, but he pushed me away. My apology stuck in my throat, not that I thought it’d make a difference at his point. Eveyone has their limits and Marcus was well past his.

“I’ll stay until after Finley graduates. That’ll give us time to figure out a schedule.” My crying made it hard to speak so I just nodded my understanding.
Continue Reading: "Chapter 124-What Now?"

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Chapter 123-Free At Last

“Hello Love.”

Mulo stood in the doorway waiting for me. He was shirtless and the button on his pants was undone. I was temporarily surprised to see him only half-dressed this late in the morning.

“How soon can we leave?” I asked thrusting the paper at him. “She sent a singing telegram! Like this is all some sort of joke! That bitch needs to die!” The anger and frustration I’d felt after that performance had only grown.

I heard movement on the steps and moments later a scantily dressed blonde came walking down. I watched as she walked over and gave Mulo a kiss.

“Call me,” she said before throwing a quick glance at me then walking out the door.

A few moments later a second blonde, dressed in even less clothing, came down the stairs. She frowned at me before also giving him a kiss then waving goodbye. I guess I was interrupting, but they’d have to get over it.

“You sure know how to keep busy,” I said unable to mask the annoyance in my voice.

Mulo gave me his signature smirk. “Now Love, you don’t go to bed alone, why should I? You know,” he said taking a step towards me, “that if you want to be the one warming my bed at night, all you have to do is say so.”

I took a deep breath and swallowed back my retort. I was married. I didn’t care who he slept with. Or at least I shouldn’t. I needed to remember why I was here. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of juice.

“So, how soon can we leave?” I asked again, forcing my misplaced feelings of jealousy aside.

Mulo took a look at the paper. “An hour, maybe two, I’ll need to make a call. You don’t have to go. Now that I know where she is, I can handle it.”

“What? No!” I yelled slamming the glass on the counter. “I want to be there. I need to be there. I need to watch that meddling, hateful bitch take her last breath!” I started pacing. How could he even think I wouldn’t see this through to the end after everything Marisol had put me through?

“I know you want to be there, but…”

“No buts Mulo!”

“But,” he said again interrupting me. “What if something goes wrong? You have children that need you.”

Continue Reading: "Chapter 123-Free At Last"

Saturday, February 28, 2015

The end is near...

Kiss of a Vampire was my first story. I've been working on it for three years so the idea of it coming to an end is very bitter sweet. This was supposed to be a simple baby challenge but it morphed into so much more over the course of the years.

I appreciate the support you all have given me over the years. Amari has had many ups and downs and hopefully she will find her happy ending.

So as we approach the final chapters, like with Fiendish, I want to open it up for questions. Ask the crew and/or me anything you want to know. The question session will remain open for an undetermined date since I don't have the final chapters written up yet. I will be sure to let you know when the cut off date is.

Thank you for the support!
Continue Reading: "The end is near..."

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Chapter 122-The Final Straw

My head rested on the steering wheel as I sat in the garage. I know I couldn’t stay in here long since I was positive Marcus would have heard my arrival. I’d missed Finley and the quads and was eager to see them, but facing Marcus was going to be hard.

Mulo and I had spent the night together going over his plan to rid me of Marisol. It was risky, but could work. I'd be free of her, I just had to hope Ceula was alright. He had everything planned out, apparently he’d been working on this for a while. Afterwards he stayed and we spent the remaining hours just talking. We both knew this thing needed to be over. I couldn't imagine life that didn't include him on some level. He'd told me he planned on permanently relocating to his home in France, he needed the distance as much as I did. It was the only way to make this work.

All night we spent together fighting the desire we both knew was there. All night we spent enjoying what time we had left. I’d stopped by to see Trey before coming home. He was still a wreck, and Ashley wanted her mother. The kids had been doing a good job stopping by and helping out. I couldn’t wait until that bitch was dead for what she was doing to my family. She needed to pay for all the pain and suffering and I was going to be there when she took her final breath.

Realizing I couldn't delay any longer, I climbed out of the car so I could face my husband. Finley and Zana were in the dining room working on home work.

“Hey mom,” she said with a smile getting up to hug me.

She looked different, older somehow. Her hair was dyed an electric blue color with gray streaks. Behind her smile, I could see the same weariness and fear we all had with Ceula still missing. Bynni had even attempted to reach out to Marisol, hoping to reason with her on some level, but she couldn’t find her either. We were all stressed and worried. Angry!

“Hey sweetie, how are you?” She shrugged in response.

“Hi Mrs. Smith.”

“Hello, Zana. What are you girls working on?”

“Calculus,” they both answered with defeat in their voices.

I heard cooing coming from the steps followed by his voice as he talked to one of the babies. My heart rate increased. After Mulo left this morning, I threw away the clothes I’d been in and took a hot shower. I needed to wash away any traces of him because it seemed Marcus had his scent committed to memory and would know the moment I was close. Feelings of guilt settled on me. My actions were that of an unfaithful woman, but I’d not crossed that line, however the lack of sex didn’t make me any less a cheater.

I walked into the hall in time to see Marcus holding Graham. From the way he looked at me, for a moment I thought he knew, but then a smile spread across his face.

“Mommy’s home,” he said to the wiggling bundle in his arms. “How was your trip?” he asked, buckling Graham into the swing.

I watched the gentleness of his actions as he cared for our son. He was a good man, no matter how much I pushed his limits with my actions, he stays and keeps trying to make things work. He’d lost so much. We’d lost so much. I loved him. I’d married him three times. I could be happy with him. I would be happy with him, I just needed to make sure he was happy with me. I needed to uphold my wedding vows. Forsake all others.

When he turned to face me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tightly. Marcus wrapped his arms around my waist in response. “Baby did something happen in Riverview?”

Keeping my face buried in his chest, I nodded slightly.

“Are you going to tell me what?”

“Just hold me for a minute please.”

“I can do that.”

His strong arms tightened around me, this was my safe place. When he held me, I just felt like things would be okay, like everything was alright with the world. I wished I could stay here forever and never have to think about the outside world, but the cries that came from upstairs was one of the many reasons that wasn’t possible.

“I’ll get her.”

Marcus reached for my arm as I pulled away. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

I gave him a weak smile, and a quick kiss on the lips. My hand caressed his cheek, “Not right now.”

Marcus didn’t push and let me walk off. I held my baby close, breathing in her soft baby powder scent. First the change, then this thing with Marisol had kept me from really bonding with them. I was missing out on so much, time I wouldn’t be able to get back. When Marcus and I had talked on the phone, he’d told me Gwen had rolled over for the first time. He was so excited and I’d not been here to see it. Her little fingers wrapped around mine and we just stared at each other. The sweet innocence they all possessed was comforting. They were too young to know what was going on and although Marisol’s games were keeping me from spending as much time as I liked, this was the most she’d affect their lives.

“Your daddy loves you,” I said keeping my voice low. “He’s a good man and a great father. You and your siblings are really lucky to have him and no matter what happens he will always be there for you and love you.”

She gave me a toothless grin in response.

“She might be hungry.” His voice made me jump. “I’m not supposed to be able to sneak up on you,” Marcus said handing me the bottle.

“I guess I just tuned out the world as I spent some much needed bonding time with my babies.”

Marcus just smiled before checking on the other two who were starting to wake. We easily worked as a team getting the girls changed and fed. Marcus had asked me again about Riverview, but I told him I wanted to talk about it later. I knew I was going to tell him, but I just wanted to wait. I wanted to enjoy the time with them without the tension and frustration that would seep in once I told him about my trip. I hated this position I found myself in and I felt like I was sinking into a bigger hole. I just wanted this to be over. I wanted my life to be uncomplicated.

Finley was trying her best to maintain as normal a routine as possible given the circumstances. She tried to keep her grades up, and do things that high schoolers should be doing. It was hard to believe she was a senior, set to graduate in a few short months. Over dinner she excitedly told me she’d been accepted to the Bridgeport Art Academy.

“Wow…Fin, um Bridgeport? When did you decide to go there? I didn’t realize you were even applying for colleges yet.”

“Well, yeah Mom. We talked about it remember. I was applying to there and two others...” She looked disappointment that I wasn't able to recall the conversation.

Continue Reading: "Chapter 122-The Final Straw"

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Happy Holidays!

So I have really been trying to get the next update written, but it's not going so well. I have a lot of things going on with family and my thoughts are all scattered on this story as well as my others. Writer's block is a bitch!!!! Not only am I stuck on this one, but I can't even get things together for my for fun legacy game play and don't even get me started on my follow up book to Fiendish. 

One thing is for sure, this story will have an ending! I will not leave you guys hanging I PROMISE. If I can manage to get the next update written, I'll post it even if it's an off 'update' week. I started it, I just need to find some quiet time to finish.

In the meantime I want to wish all of you Happy Holidays!

From my family to yours, hope everyone enjoys this holiday season however you celebrate.
Continue Reading: "Happy Holidays!"

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Chapter 121-The Hands of Time

Mulo stood propped up in the doorway wearing his signature smug grin.

“What are you doing here?”

“Come now Love, you already know why I’m here,” he smiled and strolled past me into my hotel room.

Seeing him again after the last few weeks, left me conflicted. I had told myself I wasn’t going to go to him. I had to handle this on my own for the sake of my marriage, I had to, but he was here. He came to me…but I couldn’t let him…I couldn’t accept his help.

“You can’t stay. You…I…you have to go.”

“You seem nervous, Love,” Mulo said crossing the room to stand in front of me. “Why are you so nervous?” His voice dropped down as he let his fingers trace the contour of my jaw.

“Mulo, don’t.”

He ran his thumb across my bottom lip and inhaled deeply. “I know that scent well,” he said with a smirk.

I shifted my weight from leg to leg, ignoring his comment. “How did you know I was here?”

“We may not be bonded like before, Love, but I always know where you are.”

I narrowed my eyes and frowned at him. “You do know that stalking someone is against the law.”

He laughed. “Are you going to turn me in?”

He stood in front of me, smiling. Something was off, different. Mulo had always been serious, but he seemed relaxed, almost playful. He leaned forward, his clean spicy scent swirled around me. Our time on the island came barreling back, all the feelings, emotions and primal urges threatening to take over. I moved away needing to distance myself. Wrapping my arms around my body, I thought about Marcus. I’d told him this was done. We were married, we took vows. Mulo couldn’t be a part of my life anymore. When I looked up, Mulo was studying me intently.

“That look tells me you’re worried about the husband.”

“You said you respected my choice. You said you’d stop this pursuit of me and let me live in peace with the man that I love.”

“One of the men you love,” he corrected, “and I did when I thought he was worthy of you. However, any man that would make you choose between his frail ego and your child gets no respect!”

I opened my mouth to refute his claims but came up empty. How could Mulo know that’s how I’d felt? “He’s…that’s not what he’s doing. He wouldn’t.”

“He may not have said it out right, but that’s exactly what is happening. Our son came to me. Our son! The boy that has all but disowned me, came on your behalf because you are scared to because of how he would ‘feel’.” Mulo’s tone was harsh and awash with sarcasm and contempt.

“That’s not…that’s not why. It wasn’t about him.”

“No?” he asked cocking his head to the side. Challenging my lie.

“No. It’s me. I…I need to not always use you as my crutch. I can’t always depend on you. I can’t always come to you when there’s an issue. I need to stand on my own two feet.” I hoped my words sounded more convincing than I felt. It was true; I needed to not always run to Mulo. Marcus was right in that statement.

“That’s great, Love, and I would respect that if it wasn’t total bullshit.” He crossed the room, pulling me into his arms. “Tell me that when you got that first call your first thought wasn’t about me. Tell me you didn’t want me instantly to come and save Ceula, save you from whatever Marisol is doing. Tell me that and I’ll walk out of here right now and leave you to it.” His voice was gruff, his words harsh, but truthful. And he knew it.

I pushed him away. “It doesn’t matter Mulo! You…you are just as guilty of bringing her into my life as my father. Now you both want to scramble to clean up the mess you made!”

“He threw you to the wolves. I’m just trying to keep you from being eaten.”

“Keep me from being eaten? What?! No Mulo that’s not what you’ve done to me. You…you know what you’ve done to me. You’ve felt the pain you’ve caused me.”

“And I’ve apologized for that. You felt my remorse! You’ve forgiven me.”

I let out a heavy sigh. “You’re right, I have, but…this trip down memory lane her game has lead me on has made me reflect on a lot. I’m left with so many what-ifs it kills me!”

“Like what, Love?”

“Like what if my father had made a different choice? What if I’d never left Riverview? What if you…” I stopped myself on the last one. This would get me no-where. Questioning the past couldn’t change my current situation. What was done, was done and I just had to find a way to survive it like everything else.

“What if I what?” Mulo pressed. He stood closer to me, those feelings from earlier worming their way back into my consciousness.

Our eyes locked, his features were soft; caring. There was something between us that Marcus didn’t understand and hated. If I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn’t fully understand it either. Mulo had hurt me in many ways, yet I was pulled to him. The connection we had was one of the great mysteries of the world. Even now as he stood in front of me part of me was happy to see him.

“Have you ever thought about what our lives could have been like if you weren’t such an ass?”

He smirked. “I suspect we would have traveled a lot and spent quite a bit of time in bed,” he answered.

I rolled my eyes. “Always comes back to sex with you doesn’t it? I’m being serious, Mulo.”

“I am too.”

“So the only reason you wanted me was for your personal concubine?”

His arms wrapped around my waist. His presence was overwhelming like always. “That is a divine idea,” he whispered into my ear, “but you know you mean more than that to me.”

I turned my head to look at him. Our lips were mere centimeters apart. If either of us moved, they would connect, and if that happened all hell would break loose. The desire pulsated around us thick and hot. The warm heat of his slow exhales tickled my face. We stood close, the arm around my waist held our bodies pressed together. My body temperature rose and there was a tingling of excitement between my legs as my arousal grew. He waited; waited for me to make the first move, to let him know that it was okay. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply.

“Do I know that?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Mulo’s free hand caressed my cheek, his thumb slowly ran across my lips. “Yes, Love.”

“Then why? Why make me suffer? Why cause me pain and heartache? Why not stand beside me through this crazy thing Marisol inflicted upon me instead of making it worse? All you had to do was love me Mulo. Was that too much to ask?”

I was alone. The heat of his body taken away as he pulled from our embrace.

“I do, but I’m not a traditional man, Love, therefore what you get from me won’t fall into the same category as the everyday man. Would you want me any other way?” 

There was anger in his voice. Mulo was never a man that liked his faults being pointed out, but I needed closure. I couldn’t keep living in this state of limbo. I loved him. I desired him, but something had to give. He couldn’t keep toying with my emotions and I couldn’t let him.

“No Mulo, you are who you are and I do love you for that.”


“When things changed for you, when you started to care about me, to love me, your actions didn’t reflect that. Instead you acted like that kid on the playground pulling my pigtails because he liked me. You chose to be angry, and make things harder on me instead of just stepping up and admitting how you felt and acting accordingly.”

“We’ve been over this!” he yelled.

“Yes, we have but that doesn’t change how I feel Mulo! I am tired, and angry, and confused, and conflicted on a daily basis. I am married to a man that has had his life so fucked over simply because he loves me. Anyone in their right mind would have run away screaming given the chance but he hasn’t! He is so angry with me and when this is all over I don’t know if he’s going to stay. I sure as hell don’t make it worthwhile for him to do so.”

“His fragile ego is not my problem!”

I dropped down onto the bed, burying my face in my hand. “You’re right, it’s not. It’s mine. This thing with us…it’s a betrayal to him. Marcus doesn’t deserve this and I’m starting to think I don’t deserve him.”

“You have put that man up on some sort of pedestal and in doing so you are beating yourself up with misplaced guilt,” he said coming to kneel in front of me.

“Misplaced? Mulo a few minutes ago I was ready to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you and more…how can I not feel guilty over that? And you don’t make it easy. You said you would back off, that you would give me the space I needed to make this work with Marcus, yet at every turn you’re here. You prey on my weakness, on the feelings I have for you. You’re still causing me heartache, Mulo.”

He moved to sit beside me on the bed. “That is not intentional. I want you; I have no shame in saying that. What would you have me do, Love?”

“Walk away. Stay away.”

“What’s the saying…absence makes the heart grow fonder. I have gone away, that didn’t make you love me any less or I you.”

I let out a heavy sigh. He was right, we’d been apart before and my feelings for him were always there, but I could hope this time things would be different. I could hope that with him out of my life, I could prove myself worthy of Marcus’ love.

“You’re right. If my marriage fails, I’m sure you’d be the first one to help me pick up the pieces and at that point I wouldn’t fight it anymore, but…”

“You want the chance to find out?”

I nodded. “I love Marcus. He’s a good man and a great father and he deserves to be happy. To have a wife dedicated to him and only him. I will probably always love you Mulo, but our time has passed. I need to move on. You need to move on.”

We sat quiet for a while digesting the fact that this was the end of an era. If I could turn back the hands of time and do things over, I'm not sure if I would or not. The suffering I've endured hasn't been without its high points. My children, each of them I was blessed to have. Had things turned out differently with Mulo and I they wouldn't be here. I could no longer live in the land of what-if. My life was with Marcus now, he was my future. Mulo needed to be my past.

“You never said why you were here.”

His hand covered mine and he pressed his lips to my forehead. “To tell you how we're going to kill Marisol.”
Continue Reading: "Chapter 121-The Hands of Time"