Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Chapter 130: Destination Unknown

It’d been close to three weeks since I’d talked to Marcus. When he came to pick up Zana and Finley for their move he’d only given me a courteous hello. We talked a little about getting them settled. We’d decided that only one of us would go this time since it’d be a drive instead of flying in order to get their stuff cross country. When he got back, I’d expected him to come pick up the quads for his visit, but he sent me a text asking if I was okay to keep them for another week. I didn’t know what to make of things. I’d thought that night we’d made some headway, that we’d gotten over that wall and could be on the path to working things out finally, but now I didn’t have any clue where things stood.

As I rounded the corner of his street, I wondered if we’d finally have some sort of conversation about us or if he would just take them then ask me to leave. He’d moved clear across town in his attempt to get as far away from me as possible. The townhouse he rented was in a nice area. There was a park across the street which was good since he had virtually no yard. I didn’t know what his long term plans were, for a short while the fact that he didn’t go and buy a place was my comfort during the lonely nights right after he’d moved.

I didn’t want to acknowledge the real reason; he was eager to go and renting was a hell of a lot faster than buying. In the months following, we’d not discussed his long term plans, so for all I knew he could be house hunting now, looking to put down permanent roots in a home he wasn’t going to share with me.

Pulling into his driveway sent my nerves into overdrive. Taking a deep breath, I steadied my nerves before sending him a text so he’d know I was here, then got out to start unbuckling carseats. Marcus used to be the person that would make all these feelings of uncertainty and fear go away. Now he caused them any time I was faced with being around him.
“You’re early,” I heard him say from behind. He walked around to the other side of the car and started getting Graham free from his seat.

He was freshly showered. The faint scent of his soap lingered in the air. I could see droplets of water still on his skin as if he’d dressed in a hurry.

“Oh, sorry. It’s not that early and you haven’t seen them in weeks, so…”

“No, it’s fine.”

Marcus smiled at our son who responded with excited leg kicking. Marcus always seemed most at ease when interacting with our children. It was something I never got tired of seeing. Just as they say some women are born to be mothers, the same can be said for some men. Marcus was a man that slipped into fatherhood easily. I admired that about him. I struggled in my role as mom, messed up a lot along the way, but him, he just embraced it from day one. Part of me was envious of how he just did parenthood right with no hiccups.

As we entered the house, I smelled her before I saw her. She walked over to Marcus, wearing a large smile, taking Gabby from him. She seemed familiar with my child, too familiar for my liking. He wanted to dictate who I could or couldn’t have around our children yet here he had some woman here and I doubted this was the first time. He had some woman here and he didn’t tell me.

The way she looked at Marcus, she seemed pretty familiar with him too. I thought about reading her mind, but I didn’t want to know. If there was something there, I didn’t want those images in my head. She looked barely older than Finley and the way she was dressed…if she moved the wrong way, her breasts looked like they’d fall out of that top. And those pants, they couldn’t get any more fitted if they were painted on. I remembered how Florence was dressed when I saw her. Everything was short, tight, and exposed way too much skin. This is what he gravitated to when not with me?

I got the girls situated in the playpen doing my best to ignore her as much as she was trying to ignore me. I couldn’t recall a time I was so eager to get away from Marcus as I was right now. Don’t make a scene. Don’t make a scene…I kept repeating to myself. How could he not have told me? If he wanted out, all he had to do was file for divorce. Instead he chose to play games with me. Intentionally looked for the maximum ways in which he could make me feel everything I’d put him through.

“Amari, I wanted to…”

“I have to go,” I blurted out.

Marcus held onto my arm as I started to walk out. “I can’t get five minutes?”

I shook my head. He ran so hot and cold, wanting things on his schedule and I was just supposed to comply. He couldn’t spare five minutes for me the last few weeks, but now he wanted to act like I was in the wrong for being ready to leave and not talk to him. I let out a slow breath. As much as I wanted to say so many things to him, I held them in. I wanted to yell and scream at him, to let him know he’d won and I wasn’t playing this game anymore, but I said nothing. I would not put my feelings out there in front of whoever that was.

“No,” I replied, removing my arm from his grip.

I heard him tell her to give him a minute before he was calling after me. Then he was in front of me, blocking my get away path and having the audacity to look pissed.

“I’m not doing this with you now Marcus!”

“Doing what? I only wanted to…”

“I don’t care what you wanted to do! Whatever you seem so eager to tell me now could have been said weeks ago, but instead you chose to barely speak to me. Again! So I don’t want to hear it now. You have left my children up there with that…person. A stranger, and I’m not comfortable with that, so go take care of my children. Whatever it is you needed to tell me has apparently waited this long, so it can keep waiting a while longer.”

I stepped around him, and again he took hold of my arm. “Stranger? What stranger? Jenelle…”

“Jenelle? I was expecting something like Roxy or Diamond, you know something more fitting of a stripper.”

“Stripper? What the hell are you talking about? She has a bachelor’s in Early Childhood development and is working on her masters. She’s help, Amari, for when I have them.”

I pulled my arm free. “Dressed like that, and with the stench of lust clinging to her like a second skin, I’m sure she’s very helpful.”

He made no move to stop me as I climbed into the car. As I drove away, I didn’t want to think about him there with her. I didn’t want to think about her taking care of my kids. I didn’t want to think about how Marcus didn’t bother trying to deny that woman was attracted to him.

Hell he was probably just as attracted to her. Who wouldn’t be when she put all she had on display like that, and she had a lot to display. I looked down at my own, much smaller bust, the word voluptuous had never been used to describe me and that never bothered me until now. Florence was endowed and curvy just like that girl at his house. My thoughts wandered to what the other women he dated might have looked like.

“Help. If he really needed help, why did he have to get someone that looked like her?”
I understood, taking care of them alone wasn’t easy. Now that Finley was gone, life with the quads was a little more difficult. Hell I’d thought about getting a part-time nanny for the same reason. We could have talked about it, maybe even found someone willing to travel back and forth with the quads when we switched off. Even if he didn’t want to do that, why couldn’t he find some grandmotherly type of woman to help him? Why did he have to hire someone that looked like her? More importantly, why didn’t he tell me? Why did he wait to spring this on me? Was this just another way for him to try and punish me?

“Jenelle.” Her name tasted as bitter as I felt in this moment.

My phone started ringing, glancing down I saw Marcus’ number flashed on the screen. The ringing stopped only to start again.

“Is it the guilt that has you so eager to speak to me?” I asked to the air. This time when it stopped, it didn’t start again, but the voicemail chime dinged shortly after.
I drove, not feeling the desire to go home, but unsure of where I wanted to be instead. My aimless driving took me in the direction of the interstate. Putting on my blinker, I eased into the light traffic. For so long my life had been about doing what others wanted, what they needed because everyone needed something from me.

Everyone came first, always so many balls in the air for me to juggle. Every choice made was somehow wrong. I’d spent so much time just keeping my head above water, trying to make everyone around me happy. I was simply reacting to life and the events as they happened, any control I thought I had over my life was an illusion.

Ahead of me the exit sign for the airport indicated one mile. I put my blinker on, hitting the gas pedal, accelerating my car towards the exit. My phone started ringing again, this time Elphie’s name popped up on the screen. Reaching down, I found myself sliding the bar over to send the call to voicemail before finally shutting my phone off.  I had nothing on me, just the clothes on my back and my purse, but I didn’t care. This was my time. Time to just take a breather; time to stop and really think about me and what I wanted the next phase of my life to be. I had no clue where I was even going, but I parked in long term parking, secured the car then headed towards the terminal.

**Thanks to Daijah for building the interstate for me. :) It gave Amari just what she needed to run away. LOL**


  1. First Janelle should put some clothes on, preferrably something that hired help would wear.

    Second Amari should take several seats, she's the one who rushed into selling the house and moving out, and she wanted to have her cake and eat it whenever it suited her, if Marcus is doing Janelle she's got no right to be angry, she had her fun with Mulo so she needs to calm the fuck down since she and Marcus are not together anymore.

    And Marcus, he needs to make up his mind real quick about his marriage before Amari meets a handsome stranger at "destination unknown" and sweeps her off her feet. Their back and forth has been going on for too long now. They need a resolution.

    I hope Amari doesn't run into Mulo wherever she's headed, that would just be a bad mistake waiting to happen. Her alone time is much needed though, she's been confused and an emotional wreck for a while now, she needs to get her head straight and figure things out.

    1. LOL yeah she should put on some clothes, but she IS trying to catch the eye of her boss and he hasn't complained about her work attire. LOL

      Ok, well not really. Marcus planned on and moved out first. She didn't make the plans to sell until after she found out he was leaving. She can be angry because they are still very married. They haven't done any paperwork to start a divorce or even a legal separation so if he is doing Jenelle then he's having an affair. She's not slept with Mulo, they haven't actually had sex in 'years' (time is wonky in this story). Yes she's come close, especially when she was going through the change, but she's not cheated on Marcus in that aspect.

      Yes he does and that's how Amari feels. They haven't really had a real talk about things and they need to. Every time Amari thinks they are making progress, Marcus throws her curve-ball. :( A resolution is coming because the story is coming to an end.

      Let's hope Amari isn't running to Mulo. That's always been her go-to thing so hopefully she stays strong and doesn't fall into old patterns. She does need this time. Everything has been about everyone else so she needs this time for just herself and to really think about what she wants.

      thanks for reading

  2. Ok, let me try this one more time, the first time I posted this, I royally messed up on everything. Yea, I got the impression that Marcus is trying to give Amari some payback, by having that other woman there, and not at least having the decency of telling her before she met the woman. Regardless of what happened in the past, two wrongs don't make anything right.
    Actually, I feel sorrier for Amari than anything. She was thrown into this whole mess by a nasty woman, and a father who didn't give a damn. Once in this whole mess had started, she even hadn’t given herself, or had the time to really think about things. I really hope in her time to herself, that she doesn't run off to that other vampire because he was a major problem that lead down this path that she has been forced to take.

    1. LOL I read the first one, it comes to my email, I didn't see anything wrong with it.

      I will say it does seem that way and that's how Amari took it. He should have told her, no question about it but communication skills have been failing them both lately.

      Yes, she's had a very hard time of things and she's done the best she's can with the hand she was dealt. She does need this time to herself and it might be the mini-vacay she needs to get things into prospective. LOL Fingers crossed she doesn't go tracking down Mulo.

      thanks for reading

  3. Alone time is just the medicine Amari needs, I think. She's not had a moment to herself to think about all of this crap that is constantly thrown her way. I really hope it helps and she gets a moment of clarity that will allow her to understand that what is happening has been happening since she said "I do" to Marcus.

    I get that she feels he dumps on her every time they are together but he has been hurt since day 1 so that is a lot of pent up frustration and anger that he's finally able to release.

    It seems though they have been stuck in this emotional limbo for quite some time now and it would help them both if they could sit down for even 5 minutes like adults and really talk about stuff. But it seems they always end up fighting when that happens. (Mediator anyone? Seriously! Try counseling!)

    Marcus' new "help" does seem to be a bit "too friendly" with the boss. Seriously? You come to work dressed like that? Child! If you don't take your narrow ass home and throw on some clothes I know something! You're working around kids! Show a little decency and class and at least pretend to be decent. Sure. I get it. You want big, bad Daddy to become yours. And I'm sure Marcus is not minding one bit. But come on! Stop rubbing your boobs on his and Amari's kids for crying out loud! (Justice if Gwen pukes down her shirt...or lack there of).

    Hmm...Marcus seemed surprised that Amari didn't know who Jenelle was. Me thinks we're not getting the whole story here O.o

    1. I agree. She hasn't really had a moment to herself to just think about what she wanted in life. Hopefully it will help her see things differently, and more importantly take the worries away that she constantly has.

      Yes, he does always seem to lash out at her. She does understand she's hurt him. It's just that each time she thinks he's gotten it all out, he hits her with something new. How much more is she expected to put up with? At some point Marcus needs to really decide if continuing to be in this cycle is really what's best for both of them.

      Yeah they have been. Marcus is angry, but not quite ready to let go. The talk at the end of the last chapter was the first real conversation they'd had in a while. Amari would be more than willing to go to counseling if she thought Marcus would agree. Maybe she's afraid to bring up the option in fear of him saying no?

      hahahaha I don't know what you mean. **looks around innocently** Yes, she should not have dressed like that to work around children, no matter how old they are. She has systematically shown up in less and less and Marcus hasn't said anything. LOL She should have some professionalism and he really should set some ground rules, but neither has happened. LOL Gwen puking on her, it could happen.

      He did seem a little surprised didn't he???? Wonder what's up with that.

      thanks for reading

  4. What agency did Marcus hire Janelle from? Sluts R Us? Seriously what is that girl thinking of working as a Nanny dressed like that unless she is doing that to impress her boss. Marcus should have told her to dress more appropiately for the job but it seems to me that he didn't mind Amari seeing her dressed that way. He is either trying to pay Amari back for the past or trying to make her jealous. No matter what the situation is he is wrong for doing that as when hiring a nanny his first priority should be the babies.

    Another thing that bothers me about Janelle is that he hired this woman without even telling Amari about her. Regardless of what their relationship status is they are both still the parents of those quads and all decisions regarding their care should be made by both of them including hiring nannies.

    Clearly Amari is jealous and she seems to need some time to think but I do think she should have taken that 5 minutes or at least answer his call to find out what Marcus wanted to tell her. If they are going to get past this they need to communicate and she shot him down when he tried to do that. Granted he did the same to her by keeping his distance after their last discussion but it seems to me that they are both only making their problems even worse than what they were before.

    I don't know if this trip to an unknown destination will clear her head or just be another way to run from her problems. What they do need to do is work on their marriage together by talking to each other and they definitely need to go to marriage counseling if they are serious about saving their marriage.

    1. hahahaha Sluts R Us....that's good. That's exactly why she's dressed like that, she's out to catch Marcus' eye. He needs to set some rules about proper work attire since she wasn't dressed like that when she interviewed for the job. He was thinking about the babies when he hired her, she is qualified, she just also happens to look like she does. LOL

      Nope he hadn't told Amari. She should have been told about him hiring help in case she wanted input, like she even thought while in the car, they could have picked someone out together. One person for both houses or something like that.

      Yes she's jealous, who wouldn't be seeing a woman dressed like that around their husband. She was pissed, he's been giving her shit left and right and she felt like she walked into an ambush almost. :( Maybe once she calms down, she'll call him to find out what he had to say, but as she told him, he had weeks to talk to her and didn't.

      Well she's hoping it will clear her head. She needs that. If they are going to make the marriage work, they need to say so and start working on it instead of all this craziness they have been doing.

      thanks for reading

  5. When she started talking about how Marcus had gotten yet another new place and moved across town, I was only half-surprised to see that bitch. I don't know what shit he's trying to pull, but I'm on Amari's side on this one. She has done backflip over backflip over backflip for this man that says he doesn't not love her but yet doesn't really speak to her for three fucking weeks! Backflips! She has! How many damn times does she have to say she's fucking sorry? And if I remember correctly, when she was turned, the time period Marcus is punishing her for, she and Mulo did NOT do the deed. Am I remembering wrong? So, yeah, this bitch "taking care of" her "kids" is a slap in her face. How the hell does Marcus NOT see that? Is he gonna try and pull some shit saying that he's not interested? I wouldn't believe it if he rented a plane and had it written in the sky. ykwim?
    Och! If I were Amari, I'd be losing it too. As long as she doesn't go back to Mulo! Don't fight fire with gasoline! If she does, even if it's "automatic" for her, then I'm no longer on her side. Dunno whose side I'd be on, but I'd be pissed at her too.
    I can't believe how worked up I am over this!!!! I want to scream and beat the living shit outta Marcus.
    K, now I'm laughing at myself. There's hope. I've had a crap day. All my kids are getting sick and I don't feel so hot myself. And I had the flu LAST week.
    All I can say is, "Go, Amari. Just go. Go to the beach and rent a place for the weekend. Make Marcus shit rocks worrying about you. If it's so damn important that he talk to you, he'd have done it already. You're absolutely right."
    I'm going to start repeating myself and cussing even more the more I think about this, so I'll quit my rant here.
    Guess this is my way of saying this is a fucking good chapter.

    1. No this isn't another new place, this is the place he moved to when he moved out the first time. Amari has been jumping through hoops trying to apologize to Marcus and make up for how she hurt him. Marcus is punishing her for a lot of stuff. He kept a lot bottled in outside of the time she spent with Mulo after being turned. Mulo has been a factor in Amari's life throughout all of their marriages and Marcus is finally letting loose how he's felt about that. It's been a lot of time in the making and now that he's had the chance to no longer hold back, things just keep coming out. :( It's not ideal, but he's going through a process. Amari has never physically cheated on Marcus with Mulo but for him, the fact that she used him for emotional support, the fact that she's wanted to have sex with him, and the fact that she admittedly loves Mulo is more than Marcus can handle right now. Fingers crossed Amari doesn't do her go-to thing and run to Mulo. That would be bad, so very bad. LOL not on Marcus' side or Amari's you know who that leaves...good ol' Mulo. hahaha

      Aww sorry you and the kiddies have been sick. That's no fun. :( Hope everyone gets better soon.

      She needs this time to herself. Maybe she will end up on a beach somewhere sipping on a Piña colada and being fanned by some cute cabana boy. LOL

      Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading.

  6. Honestly I am over Marcus been over him a while. At first I thought he was okay but ultimately the good guy has now become the bad boy and the bad boy (Mulo) seems to be the one try to do a 180 change. At least that is what it seem like when he did the right thing and left to allow Amari to fix things with Marcus. I also get that he is still attracted to her however Marcus need to stop playing games and just find a better outlet for his pain. I get Amari messed up but sleeping with her then leaving at night like she is some cheap whore is just off the mark. Now Janelle? I wouldn't even believe him if he even said he wasn't attracted. I was always team Mulo anyway. Though I hope in this case Amari doesn't run to him. They have a connection but if they were to pursue anything she needs to figure out if the marriage is truly over. Otherwise I am hoping she just goes bathe in the sun and have a beach day or a spa one.

    1. LOL aww. Well see there in lies the rub. Marcus was the good guy. The one there to support Amari and all that jazz. Mulo was around to mostly cause havoc and chaos in Amari's life. There's only so much that good guy can take before he changes. If someone keeps dumping on you, taking you for granted, and generally makes you feel unimportant in their life, it changes you. It changes your outlook on them, yourself, and your lives together. Mulo on the other hand got the opposite from her. They've gone through a lot and during that time he realized what he put her through and he is even surprised that through it all she found it in her heart to still love and care about him. That too will change a person. You have 2 very different men that were both changed in very different ways by the same women. It's a double edged sword so to speak.

      Marcus does need another outlet, but he's in an odd place. This is the first time he's really expressed how all of this has affected him. Before he held it in and now that Pandora's box has been opened, well he's acting out in very uncharacteristic ways. :( I don't know if he'd deny being attracted to her. It's how he proceeds from there that could be the bigger issue. She can't pursue things with Mulo if she wanted to until Marcus made it clear the marriage was over. A relationship with Mulo would be extra tricky because there's the quads to consider. Marcus has already made it known he does not want Mulo around his children and Amari would respect his wishes on that. Hopefully she is headed for some lovely tropical island for a day or two.

      thanks for reading

  7. That is a terrible outfit to wear while taking care of children. I'm no baby expert, but shes probably going to get baby drool, baby food, and baby vomit all over boobies and her clothes. Or at least what little clothing she is wearing. Even without vampire powers you can tell she is attracted to Marcus. Well, at least Amari is taking it ok and isn't doing anything craz- wait a minute...

    Amari!! Where you going?!

    1. hahaha Yeah it is, but she's not so concerned about that. It doesn't take a vampire to know why Jenelle is dressed that way. Anyone walking in on that situation would see it.

      hahaha Where is she going??? That's a very good question. Perhaps we'll find out in the next update.

      thanks for reading

  8. I know I'm always against Amari, but for once I have her back lol. I cannot BELIEVE the nerve of Marcus. Like, seriously Janelle looks fresh out of high school and she was way too comfortable around those babies. I bet they are screwing, I just know they are. Although I'm sure she won't be gone long, some time away might do Amari some good. I just hope you-know-who won't join her somehow...

    1. LOL well I'm sure she appreciates you having her back. Jenelle is a grad student, so not fresh out of high school, but she is young. She's been working for Marcus for a little while now, so yeah she's comfy around the babies. :( LOL Amari things they are with the way she's dressed and the scent of lust she picked up on. She needs some time to recoup and hopefully clear her head. Let's hope Mulo doesn't track her down. In her current state of mind that could be really bad. :(

      thanks for reading

  9. When I first saw the nanny I hated her, but that's not really fair on her now, is it. The poor girl probably doesn't want to be in the middle of all this, either. Marcus should have told her, though. It's his right to get help - quads *are* a lot of work - but he should have let Amari know. I don't know if he's legitimately playing with her or if it's one of those misunderstandings they are both so good at.

    I love how well you write people, btw. They are so real, and their thoughts and feelings and everything is very realistic <3


    1. Well Jenelle is after Marcus. She isn't all that concerned with his martial issues so much. Marcus was wrong to not tell Amari about someone that would be taking care of the kids. As their mother she has a right to know.

      aww thanks. They give me a hard time, but I try to really express the characters and what they are feeling/thinking

      thanks for reading.