Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Chapter 122-The Final Straw

My head rested on the steering wheel as I sat in the garage. I know I couldn’t stay in here long since I was positive Marcus would have heard my arrival. I’d missed Finley and the quads and was eager to see them, but facing Marcus was going to be hard.

Mulo and I had spent the night together going over his plan to rid me of Marisol. It was risky, but could work. I'd be free of her, I just had to hope Ceula was alright. He had everything planned out, apparently he’d been working on this for a while. Afterwards he stayed and we spent the remaining hours just talking. We both knew this thing needed to be over. I couldn't imagine life that didn't include him on some level. He'd told me he planned on permanently relocating to his home in France, he needed the distance as much as I did. It was the only way to make this work.

All night we spent together fighting the desire we both knew was there. All night we spent enjoying what time we had left. I’d stopped by to see Trey before coming home. He was still a wreck, and Ashley wanted her mother. The kids had been doing a good job stopping by and helping out. I couldn’t wait until that bitch was dead for what she was doing to my family. She needed to pay for all the pain and suffering and I was going to be there when she took her final breath.

Realizing I couldn't delay any longer, I climbed out of the car so I could face my husband. Finley and Zana were in the dining room working on home work.

“Hey mom,” she said with a smile getting up to hug me.

She looked different, older somehow. Her hair was dyed an electric blue color with gray streaks. Behind her smile, I could see the same weariness and fear we all had with Ceula still missing. Bynni had even attempted to reach out to Marisol, hoping to reason with her on some level, but she couldn’t find her either. We were all stressed and worried. Angry!

“Hey sweetie, how are you?” She shrugged in response.

“Hi Mrs. Smith.”

“Hello, Zana. What are you girls working on?”

“Calculus,” they both answered with defeat in their voices.

I heard cooing coming from the steps followed by his voice as he talked to one of the babies. My heart rate increased. After Mulo left this morning, I threw away the clothes I’d been in and took a hot shower. I needed to wash away any traces of him because it seemed Marcus had his scent committed to memory and would know the moment I was close. Feelings of guilt settled on me. My actions were that of an unfaithful woman, but I’d not crossed that line, however the lack of sex didn’t make me any less a cheater.

I walked into the hall in time to see Marcus holding Graham. From the way he looked at me, for a moment I thought he knew, but then a smile spread across his face.

“Mommy’s home,” he said to the wiggling bundle in his arms. “How was your trip?” he asked, buckling Graham into the swing.

I watched the gentleness of his actions as he cared for our son. He was a good man, no matter how much I pushed his limits with my actions, he stays and keeps trying to make things work. He’d lost so much. We’d lost so much. I loved him. I’d married him three times. I could be happy with him. I would be happy with him, I just needed to make sure he was happy with me. I needed to uphold my wedding vows. Forsake all others.

When he turned to face me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tightly. Marcus wrapped his arms around my waist in response. “Baby did something happen in Riverview?”

Keeping my face buried in his chest, I nodded slightly.

“Are you going to tell me what?”

“Just hold me for a minute please.”

“I can do that.”

His strong arms tightened around me, this was my safe place. When he held me, I just felt like things would be okay, like everything was alright with the world. I wished I could stay here forever and never have to think about the outside world, but the cries that came from upstairs was one of the many reasons that wasn’t possible.

“I’ll get her.”

Marcus reached for my arm as I pulled away. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

I gave him a weak smile, and a quick kiss on the lips. My hand caressed his cheek, “Not right now.”

Marcus didn’t push and let me walk off. I held my baby close, breathing in her soft baby powder scent. First the change, then this thing with Marisol had kept me from really bonding with them. I was missing out on so much, time I wouldn’t be able to get back. When Marcus and I had talked on the phone, he’d told me Gwen had rolled over for the first time. He was so excited and I’d not been here to see it. Her little fingers wrapped around mine and we just stared at each other. The sweet innocence they all possessed was comforting. They were too young to know what was going on and although Marisol’s games were keeping me from spending as much time as I liked, this was the most she’d affect their lives.

“Your daddy loves you,” I said keeping my voice low. “He’s a good man and a great father. You and your siblings are really lucky to have him and no matter what happens he will always be there for you and love you.”

She gave me a toothless grin in response.

“She might be hungry.” His voice made me jump. “I’m not supposed to be able to sneak up on you,” Marcus said handing me the bottle.

“I guess I just tuned out the world as I spent some much needed bonding time with my babies.”

Marcus just smiled before checking on the other two who were starting to wake. We easily worked as a team getting the girls changed and fed. Marcus had asked me again about Riverview, but I told him I wanted to talk about it later. I knew I was going to tell him, but I just wanted to wait. I wanted to enjoy the time with them without the tension and frustration that would seep in once I told him about my trip. I hated this position I found myself in and I felt like I was sinking into a bigger hole. I just wanted this to be over. I wanted my life to be uncomplicated.

Finley was trying her best to maintain as normal a routine as possible given the circumstances. She tried to keep her grades up, and do things that high schoolers should be doing. It was hard to believe she was a senior, set to graduate in a few short months. Over dinner she excitedly told me she’d been accepted to the Bridgeport Art Academy.

“Wow…Fin, um Bridgeport? When did you decide to go there? I didn’t realize you were even applying for colleges yet.”

“Well, yeah Mom. We talked about it remember. I was applying to there and two others...” She looked disappointment that I wasn't able to recall the conversation.

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