Chapter 80-Consequences

I avoided Jonas for as long as I could which turned out to be only a few days.  Carter seemed to be doing the same to me and I couldn’t say I blamed him.  The relationships that had always been so relaxed and easy had now been made tense and complicated.  I had gotten everyone off to school when there was a knock at the door.

“You’ve been ignoring my calls.”  Jonas accused when I opened the door.

“Not ignoring.  I’ve been busy.”

“Are you busy now?”

“No.”

“Great.  We need to talk.”

Jonas walked into the living room.  I sighed, closed the door then followed him in there.

“How’ve you been?”  He asked patting the space on the couch next to him.  Reluctantly I walked over to sit next to him.

“Jonas whatever you were hoping for us, it can’t happen.  We need to put that night behind us and never mention it again.”  He got up from the couch visibly unhappy with my view on the situation.

“So you want to just pretend like it didn’t happen.  What about what I want?”

“I’m sorry if that hurts you Jonas but its better my way.  For all parties, its better we try to get things back to as normal as possible.”

“Well I disagree.”  He said sitting back next to me.  I couldn’t help but to roll my eyes at how stubborn he was being.

“What do you think is going to happen?  Do you want to set up shop and play house in my dysfunctional family?  I’m some sort of weird half vamp thing that is for the time being connected to what has turned out to be an overly possessive angry vampire who I suspect has killed my husband.  That on top of the fact my teenage son is making me a grandmother.  And then if that didn’t scare you off we have the issue of your cousin to also factor in.”  Jonas gave me a bewildered look processing everything I had just said to him.

“I know all the rest or most of the rest.   You really think he killed him?  And Carter?  What does he have to do with any of this?”

I guess him being rejected by the woman he claimed to be in love with wasn’t something he would want to share. 

“Carter has a lot to do with it.  The night we slept together was the same day he professed his love for me.  So see am I really the kind of woman you want to be with?  One cousin tells me he’s in love with me and I sleep with the other.”  I was tired of feeling sad, and guilty.  I was tired of having to deal with so much simply to survive.  I didn’t want to be that harsh with Jonas, this wasn’t his fault anymore than it was Carter’s.  I was cursed, plagued to live a life of one complication after the next.  I was tired.  I got up heading outside.  I didn’t need to sit there in the silence.  It was suffocating me. 

“Do you always drink at ten in the morning?”  Jonas asked as he stepped outside.  I looked at the glass in my hand.  Is this what my life was really becoming?  I sat it down on the bar.

“No.  Jonas I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have slept with you.  I wish I could say I was too drunk to know what I was doing but I can’t.”

“It took two of us Amari so the responsibility isn’t solely on your shoulders.”  Damn him for still trying to be sweet and caring. 

“It doesn’t matter.  It’s done and we need to forget.  Please just let me forget Jonas.  Carter has been there for me and I can’t let him know what I did.  I can’t hurt him like that.”

“Amari.”

“Jonas, no.  You can’t want to tell him.  He’s your family, you two are close and I refuse to be the reason that changes.  Please Jonas.  I have enough to deal with I can’t take him hating me.”  I looked at him and he had that same look in his eye that Carter had.  Weren’t there any other women in this city?  Or was this also some cruel twist that everyone that could be good for me would end up tainted by me somehow.  It could almost be funny if it weren’t so depressingly tragic.

“Ok.  I didn’t know he felt more than friendship for you.  Had I paid attention I guess I could have seen it.  Or maybe I didn’t want to see it.  We won’t mention that night to him or anyone.”   

I was so relieved that without thinking I hugged him.  An action that I have done before, but now it was different.  His arms tightened around me to pull me closer, he inhaled deeply as he relished in the contact between us.  He pulled away a little but instead of him releasing me, he kissed me.  Softly at first but it quickly turned intense, shamefully I kissed him back.  

“I should go.”  He said pulling away.  I watched as he left then picked up the drink that was still sitting there.  I had only made things worse.

Well aren’t you the busy little bee.

Go to hell.  I retorted before downing the drink.

 In the weeks that passed things were still awkward between Jonas and I.  Under normal circumstances I would talk to Carter about things but I couldn’t.  He had stopped avoiding me, but things weren’t the same.  He looked at me with such need and longing, it was hard.  I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t.  He had begun spending time at the gym even though my not being with him had nothing to do with his looks.  I tried to save Marcus from me and I failed.  I wouldn’t fail with Carter; we could be friends and nothing more.  I couldn’t lose anyone else that mattered to me.  I only hoped that he would understand that one day.   

Embry called me the day she was notified of the results.  My son would be a father before he graduated high school.  A few days later the official results arrived in the mail killing any hopes she was lying to me.  So far he and Embry had kept to the terms I set for them.  He was still very much in love and had plans to ask her to marry him after graduation.  I wasn’t pleased but there was nothing I could do to stop it.  He was working and saving money to make sure he was able to provide for his child.   

He shouldn’t have these worries and each time I saw him up late finishing homework after his shift I was angry.  She should have known better and while I would be forced to tolerate her I would never like her after what she stole from my son.  

 Dax was enjoying his time.  He was being the teenager I wished Dunham could be.  Hanging out with friends, flirting with girls, just being a kid.  The triplets were in school now.  Aric came over to help them when things started changing for them.  The house was stocked with plasma juice and fruits.  They still ate real food but craved the other stuff on occasion.  I remember Aric going through the same thing.  I found myself wanting it more as well.  At the beginning it was the only thing I could keep down but once my body had adjusted to the changes I was able to eat real food again.   

I was now back to having to eat mostly the plasma stuff.  There wasn’t really anyone I could ask since this was uncharted territory so I chalked it up to being a phase caused by the added stress of everything.   

Life was far from perfect but things were as good as they could be; until the nausea hit.

***************Bonus Pics of the Triplets aged up to kids******************

Elphie

 Edson-- (Snapped a bad shot didn't realize until after I had exited game)

Elton

Unvamped they have Amari's eye color.