Thursday, July 5, 2012

Chapter 81-No Way Out

The first day I tried to tell myself it was stress.   
The second day I tried to tell myself it was a stomach flu.  
 On the third day I bought a test to confirm what I was trying to deny.  I was glad I was home alone as I broke out in a hysterical fit of laughter. 

Of course I was pregnant.  There was no way I would be able to convince Jonas this wasn’t his baby and he wasn’t the kind of man that would simply walk away from his responsibility.   
Life would be easier if I found myself in bed with more jerks. It was a sad day if I was wishing for no strings attached one night stands.  That said a lot about how my view on life was becoming warped.  Jonas and Carter aside I had another issue of what was going to happen to the baby.  I was changed partially so what did that mean for my child?  Would it be human or would it be this sort of weird in between thing like me?  This was too much to think about.   
I buried the test at the bottom of my trash can, then went about cleaning the house needing to get my mind off the fact I had no idea how I was going to tell Jonas he was going to be a father and how I was going to deal with the fall out with Carter. 
Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away.
Yes, I’m fully aware of that if it did I would be free of you.
You wound me my love.
Don’t call me that! And if you were here I would try my best to really wound you.  Now go away!
When the kids got home from school everyone sat and did homework.  Dunham was still working but his grades were starting to suffer.  It was too much for him.  We would need to discuss things when he got home.  Seeing them, my children, Marcus’s children sitting there all together caused a pain in my chest.  I was having a baby by another man while still technically married to their father.  Telling them was going to be the difficult.  I would try and put it off for as long as possible, but at some point it would become obvious.  I just wanted normal, was that so much to ask? 
At dinner I half listened to the children as they talked about their day.  There was a field trip to the police station coming up and I was told three times to make sure I didn’t forget to sign the permission slips.  Elphie complained about Claire somebody taking her seat at lunch.  I smiled and tried to seem attentive but my mind kept wandering. 
After dinner Dax offered to clean the kitchen I suspected he was buttering me up for some favor since he rarely voluntarily did chores. He wouldn't do the ones I asked of him without having to be asked several times.  Around nine Dunham finally made it home.  I put away my book and went to meet him in the foyer.
“I left a plate for you in the microwave.”  My heart broke looking at him.  He was tired, it showed on his face, he would be up until midnight probably trying to finish all his homework.
“Thanks mom.”  He replied giving me a weak smile. 
“I’ll heat it up for you.  We need to have a talk.”  He followed me towards the kitchen but stopped at the table taking a seat.  His head rested against his arms, he looked as if he could fall asleep at any moment.
“Here you are son.”  Dunham sat up as I placed the plate down in front of him.
“Thanks.”  I sat and watched him eat.  Dax looked most like Marcus, but every now and then I would catch and expression on Dunham’s face that reminded me of his father. 
“Embry called.  She wanted to see if you would be at the appointment on Thursday.”  He put down his fork and sighed loudly.
“Crap, I have to work.  I forgot about it.  Can I call her and explain?  I mean I want to especially since I missed the last one but…”  The frustration and weariness he was feeling showed on his face.  “Can I call her mom?  Please.”
 “No.  You know the rules.”

“Damn it mom I’m going to be a father yet I can’t even talk to the mother of my child without permission and supervision.”
“Watch your mouth young man.  You know very well why you can’t.  Leaving you unsupervised is exactly why you are going to be a father in a few months.”
“What harm is there now?  I can’t get her any more pregnant!”  Dunham grabbed his plate of half eaten dinner and stormed off towards the kitchen.  I sat at the table counting to ten before going to talk to him.  I know he was angry, and tired, but so was I therefore I needed to calm down first otherwise this would escalate into a shouting match.
“Dunham I know this is hard on you.  But as your mother I am trying to deal with this situation the best way I know how.  You still don’t see or understand how what she did was wrong and I think I’m being more than generous given the circumstances.”  I took a deep calming breath since the tension in the room was building again.  This is not how I wanted our conversation to go.
“Yeah I get it mom.  I’ve heard enough times now how lucky I am she isn’t in jail, but at this rate it doesn’t matter, we are being held prisoner anyway.”  Those words weighed heavily on me.  Quietly he rinsed off his plate before placing it in the dishwasher.
“Goodnight.”  I grabbed his arm lightly as he walked by me.
“Dunham wait.”
“Mom I’m really tired and I don’t want to fight with you ok.  I’m sorry for my outburst, it just…” I pulled him into a tight hug. 
“This is too much for you.  I know you want to save money.  Your father would be proud of how you are trying to do what’s right.”
“I am trying mom.”
“I know son.  I thought about it today and I think you should quit working.  Your grades are suffering and I know I said you needed to work and you will but after you graduate.”
“But the baby.  I need to have money.  You made it very clear you wouldn’t support me.”
“I have no plans on supporting you, but I will take care of you for the time you remain a minor.  If that includes helping to buy diapers, and formula, then it does.  I have no doubt you will graduate and do everything you need for your child.  But as your mother, I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself.”  He didn’t say anything for a while as he thought about what I was offering.  He had opened a bank account and was depositing his checks in it each week.  Only using what he needed for gas and food.  This was a bad situation, but I was proud of how he was stepping up and trying to make the best of it.  His life was only going to get harder in a matter of months and so was mine. 
“I love you and all of your siblings more than anything.  I don’t ever want you to feel that I don’t.  Do you understand?”  I didn’t want any of them to ever feel the way I did knowing my father didn’t love me or my sister enough to put us first. 
“I love you too mom.  And I’m sorry.  For everything.”  I hugged him tightly before sending him off to bed.  I couldn’t sleep and since I could no longer drink away my sorrows I did something I hadn’t in a long while.
 Picking up the brush, I was hesitant to make the first stroke.  I hadn’t painted anything since Marcus’ portrait.  I had no idea of what it would be, but I kept painting.  The quietness of the basement allowed me to think.  So much had gone on, that I forgot how relaxing painting was. 
This was always my escape.  I was a simple small town girl; this was not supposed to be my life.  I loved my children and no matter what headaches they gave me I wouldn’t trade them in for the world.  However I did need to claim my life back.  For the time being there wasn’t anything I could do about what Mulo had done to me, but I could deal with the other thorn in my side.
 I was having Jonas’ baby, there wasn’t anything I could do about that, but this needed to be the last one.  The debt was not mine, and I was tired of paying. 
The next morning Dunham appeared to be in better spirits.  The weight of not having to work relieved a little of the stress, at least for a little while.  They all chatted happily as they ate their breakfast.  The triplets had a field trip to the police station and now that Dunham wasn’t working, he and Dax could carpool to school.  A twinge of sadness hit me and my hormones didn’t help.  I busied myself cleaning the kitchen to keep from crying.  After the kids were off to school I prepared to go see Marisol.
“I wondered when you would be by.”  She said opening the door before I even had a chance to ring the bell.  She looked as evil as ever, maybe more so since Bynni and TK had moved out.  Bynni said she hadn’t taken it well and I had no doubt she blamed me.  She sold her house and moved into something smaller.  Bynni told me she laid a guilt trip on how it didn't feel like home anymore.  She and my father were made for each other, neither wanted to ever take responsibility for their actions or choices.  Dad was paying now.  Mom had put him out of the house and had filed for divorce.  When we talked she tried to sound upbeat but I could tell she was taking it hard.  As much as I hated my father for what he did, I wished I could have somehow spared her this pain.
“I’ve been a little busy.”  I replied dryly as I entered the house. 
“Can I get you something to drink?  Some O positive maybe.” 
“I wasn’t aware you had a sense of humor.”  She smiled but said nothing as she lead me into the living room. 
“So to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”
“You already know why I’m here.  I’m sure you read it the moment I stepped foot in the building.”
“Actually I’m sad to say things are a tad muddled now where you are concerned.  With Mulo in your head I can’t get a clear read.”  That was a shocking revelation.  I could barely block him and I wasn’t even attempting to block her.  I wondered if he was doing it some how. 
“Well then.  I’m done.  Mulo is gone.  I don’t want him especially after what he did to my babies.”
“That was a little…desperate on his part.”  Her voice dripped with contempt when she spoke.  His attempt to stay connected to me, to try and once again be a bigger part of my life didn’t sit well with her and she made no attempts to hide that fact.
“Yes well, desperate or not, the risk he took with their lives isn’t something that is easily forgivable.  Marcus is gone and I’m tired.  I’m tired of all of it and I’m done.  No more babies, no more interference in my life!  I can’t do it anymore.  You have killed my sister, torn about my family and caused me more heartache than I care to think about.  I’m done.”  Marisol said nothing.  Her face contorted into an angry scowl and her eyes began to glow.  Neither of those things frightened me, instead it was the evil looking smile that started to spread across her lips which was followed by a deep throaty laugh.  I watched as she got up to pace the length of the living room as she thought over my words.  Finally she stopped and turned towards me.
“Fine.”  She said with a dismissive wave of her hand.  I wasn’t expecting her to agree without a fight but I wasn’t going to question it either.
“I’m glad you choose to be reasonable for once.”  I said as I turned to leave.
“Of course child, besides I was growing tired of you anyway.”  I kept walking towards the door not wanting to remain any longer than I had to. 
“But your daughter.  Ceula the troubled one.  Now she could be a very interesting new project.”  That stopped me, I was a fool to think it would be that easy.
“She has nothing to do with this.  Just like I had nothing to do with the grudge you hold against my father.”  I said turning to face her.  The smug look on her face made my blood boil.
“Just imagine the pain, the shame she would feel if she were to get her memories back.  Do you think she would be angry at you for condoning having them cloaked?  And hiding the fact that she has a child?”
“You stay away from her you cold hearted bitch!”
“A deal was made and it will be fulfilled.  If not by you, then by her.  She’s feeble minded enough that controlling her should be less of a hassle than you are. Yes, this is perfect.”  I felt my fangs extend and my body temperature seemed to rise as I stepped closer to her.
“I said stay away from her.”
“Ooo, kitty has claws or should I say fangs.  I could kill you were you stand.  It wouldn’t take much, just a little of my blood should do the trick.”  To make the point she bit into her wrist then put it towards me.  “Would you like a drink?”  I stepped back away from as she laughed.  “Didn’t think so.”  She licked the blood from the already healed spot on her wrist looking smug.  She had me and she knew it.  If I walked away she would go after Ceula and I couldn’t let that happen.  Her life was on track now, she was working her relationship with Trey was doing well.  That whole nightmare with David was not even a distant memory it simply didn’t happen where she was concerned.  I couldn’t let her be reminded of that, she couldn’t know what she had been through.
“Leave her alone.”  I sighed.  “I’ll finish.”


  1. Damn...I think that would for sure kill Cece to learn what happened between her and David. She did so well getting her out of that and thanks to Marisol it's still a very real threat and a sad possibility it can come back and haunt her.

    I like that she and Dunham are trying to mend their relationship. It's great she sees that he still needs his Mommy even though he's about to be a dad. It's a harsh reality and she knows it all too well.

    1. Yes considering her history knowing she had that sort of relationship and then the fact her mom played a hand in wiping her memory could have a very bad effect on her. Marisol is heartless and vindictive. At this point she has lost two men and it's Amari's bad luck to be tied to both of them.

      Things are very tense with them. She doesn't approve yet she also can't stand to see him struggling so much when she can stop it. Through it all Amari loves her kids and will do anything to help or protect them.

  2. Marisol is such an evil bitch! Of course, she knows what Amari cares about and how to use it to keep control over her.
    I loved when Amari found herself wishing it had been a cheap one nighter that got her pregnant. Things will certainly get complicated for her when Jonas and Carter find out. I really can't wait to see how that goes'

    "I can't get her any more pregnant!" haHa, loved that line. Poor Dunham is really trying hard to be a man. I hope things go okay for him and Embry and their baby.

    1. LOL, that she is. When you have lived for as long as she has you need to find new ways to keep yourself entertained. She chooses to reek havoc on peoples lives.

      It is very sad she is at the point she is wishing for one night stands. :( That conversation with both Jonas and Carter will be coming up soon.

      LOL he has a point. The damage is done. She keeps them apart because she can't condone them having a relationship right now. He is still a minor so even if she is just prolonging the inevitable she set up rules all the same.

  3. I was wondering when we'd see Marisol again. What a strange, twisted relationship they have. Did Amari really think it would be that easy? I must say the things Marisol would do never ceases to amaze me.

    Amari should just buy a rifle and mow down everyone with it starting with her father, and then Marisol, and if she's in an uglier mood after that she shoud go after Mulo.

    I'm glad she and Dunham have sort of made up. He'll be fine. He seems to determined to do the right thing for his kid. It's just too bad he chose a predator for a baby mama.

    And I can't wait to see how her talk with Jonas will go.

    1. Yes the other storylines left her absent but she came back with a vengeance. She didn't think it would be that easy but she also didn't consider Marisol using her kids.

      She does have a hit list growing. Life would be much better without them in her life.

      She couldn't keep watching him struggling. He is a very good young man and is stepping up to his responsibility. Let's hope Embry is worth all this trouble.

      The talk will be coming up in a chapter or two.

  4. I knew Amari couldn't just keep going and have it really be over..but ya kinda hope..of course there had to be a hitch...idk how Amari is going to manage this pregnancy..not like the past ones have been smooth sailing..anyways, my heart goes out to Dunham and his soon to be family, the mother of his child has more issues that what we see on the surface...and it makes me wonder just what Mulo will do next and his real motives for what he has done with Amari..this is such a great continuing saga.

    1. Yeah she kinda hoped too. She just wants a normal life and to move on. She has had to deal with a lot. This is going to be a hard pregnancy because so many people are going to be hurt.

      Dunham and Embry...only time will tell if they manage to stay together.

      We never know what Mulo will do. He is very unpredictable.

  5. Amari is very strong willed. If she wasn't so motivated for life, I think she would have ended her own by now. Mulo is bound by Marisol, but at least he somehow was able to hide Amari from Marisol's senses. I still am really very angry with him. Every time I see Dunham I think of how sad his life will be.

    1. Considering the people plaguing her life, she has to be. I think it's her kids at this point that keep her going and keep her from jumping off a cliff. He's no longer bound my Marisol. After he turned Bynni his agreement with her was fulfilled. Marisol never expected him to not return to her however so it was Amari's bad luck that he fell in love with her.

      He may make it through this. It will be hard but he's a very determined young man so he will provide the best life he can for his child.

  6. Jeez Marisol is a nasty thing ain't she? Not like that's actually surprising, but still. I'd like to drive a stake through her heart too. Can't blame poor Amari for trying though, but I had to know there would be a catch or something. She's really going to have herself an interesting mess with this one... yikes. I'll be very interested to see how it all unfolds.

    1. Marisol is all about herself and doesn't care who she has to hurt to achieve her goal. There is a long line waiting for that particular activity. Hopefully she will get what she deserves.

      Amari simply wants to be free to live her life. She didn't bring any of this on herself yet she is paying the price for it. :( That talk with Jonas and Carter will be a hard one.

  7. I still remember when you first started!

    1. Yes it's been almost a year. It's slow going but still alive. Thanks for reading.

  8. Even with all that she is going through, Amari is still trying to keep things as normal as possible for her children. She might make mistakes, but she is a good mother. Her children know that she loves them!

    I am not going to go into another rant, but if I could go through the computer screen, I would choke Embry! I would have empathy for her if she had been as young as Dunham. I just can't forgive her and I think that Amari is right to bar them from having more contact. That poor baby Dunham. He is trying so hard to take responsibilities that he shouldn't have to have at his age.

    I'm glad that his mother is making it easier for him. I just hope that he really begins to see how wrong Embry was. Embry should let him go! If she really cares, she should give him the time he needs to grow and mature. She let a child father a child and until Dunham is an adult it should be her responsibility. Okay, I ranted again! LOL

    I just care about these characters so much! I loved it Jaz!

    1. LOL, feel free to rant away. :) You are very right and that's the way Amari sees it. Dunham doesn't understand still because he is in a very teen mind frame when it comes to that. Hopefully he will see and grow and understand why his mom is doing what she's doing.

      She couldn't very well let him keep suffering. Amari knows he wants (and needs) to take care of his responsibility but as a child it's too much for him.

  9. Marisol, you bitch!!! You touch the girl and god help me, I will tear you apart!

    1. hahaha Marisol, she's not around often but when she is, she always leaves an impression!

      thanks for reading