Chapter 35-All Grown Up

I was in the hospital for another day.  Dr. Delson wanted to observe me because my blood pressure was still higher than he liked.  He asked if I was still considering termination and I told him no.  He wanted to put me on strict bed rest but we compromised and I promised to not push myself and to keep my stress level down.  With the way my life was going, that was easier said than done, but I was going to try.
"What are you doing here?"  I didn't need to turn around to know he was there, I could sense his presence.
"I came to take you home." he replied reaching around me to get my bag.
"I would rather take a taxi or I can call Aric to pick me up."
"I'm taking you." his tone suggested the topic was no longer up for discussion.
The car ride home was silent and tense.  I stared out the window and tried only to think about the passing scenery.  Once we arrived he took my bag upstairs and then went to speak with Aric I went to find Ceula.  She had her birthday while I was in the hospital.  My little girl was now a beautiful young lady and I wasn't there to see her grow up.

"I missed you honey."  I said hugging her tightly  "Did you have a good birthday?"
"Yeah mom, Aric and Nina took me out to dinner.  How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine."
"Well I'm glad you're home."  She pulled out of the hug and headed upstairs.
"CeCe wait.  Do you want to have some mother/daughter time tomorrow?  I would like to take you shopping or something since I missed your birthday."
"Yeah sure mom, that'd be great."
I knew this had to be hard on her.  I was letting her down by having all this craziness in her life.  I had one job as a mother, to provide a loving and stable environment for my children and I couldn't do it.
Mulo had left without saying goodbye but I knew he would be back to check up on his baby.  I headed upstairs for a hot bath, I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.  Hospital beds are small and uncomfortable.  As I was getting ready for bed there was a knock at my door.
"Yes?"
"Mom may I come in?"
"Sure."

"Are you feeling better?"
"Yes I'm fine.  The last few days just took a real toll on me."
"I'm sorry Mom."

He gave me a hug and I hesitated a moment before hugging him back.  Even though he was probably going to be a spy for his father, he was still my son and I loved him dearly.
"There's nothing to be sorry about.  None of this is your fault, it's between your father and I."

"How's Bynni doing?"
"She's doing well.  She wants to come see you especially after she found out you were in the hospital but she's still having some control issues."
I remembered how she was when I saw her.  The poor girl never did have very good self control so I know this must be a real test for her.
"I understand.  I will call her tomorrow so she knows I'm ok.  Aric thank you for taking care of your sister."
"You don't have to thank me, that's what a big brother should do.  You should get some rest."
He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.  I'm sure Mulo had told him about the pregnancy but he didn't mention it and I didn't want to get into it either.  As I climbed into bed into bed my thoughts drifted to Mulo, the biggest stressor in my life.  If I was going to make it through this pregnancy, I was going to have to avoid him.

I didn't sleep as peacefully as I had hoped and really didn't want to get out of bed in the morning but I needed to spend some time with Ceula.  We planned to spend the day at Magic Kingdom doing some shopping and just hanging out.  She was really quiet on the car ride although I kept trying to engage her in conversation.
"Did your dad call for your birthday?"
"Yeah."
Jesse had been good about keeping in touch with her but we hadn't spoken since the day he left.

"Do you like anything here?"
"No, not really."
We walked around for a bit but she didn't really seem interested in shopping.
"How about some lunch."
"Sure."
We ate in silence.  I hated feeling so disconnected from my child.
"CeCe, I'm sorry I know things haven't been the best lately but I'm trying."
"I know mom.  It's ok I know you have a lot going on."

"No it's not ok.  My problems shouldn't have such an impact on your life and I am sorry that they have."
She didn't say anything and just kept looking at her nails.  This wasn't going as well as I had hoped.
"Mom is it true?" she asked still looking down at her hands.
"Is what true?"
"About Aric and Bynni and Mulo is it true what they are?" she asked in a whisper
I didn't know how to answer I feared something had happened while I was in the hospital.  Surely they would have told me if they did it to her.
"Honey I don't understand what you're asking me."
I could see she was getting frustrated with my attempts to dodge the question.  This time she looked me in the eye when she spoke.
"He told me mom.  Aric asked what I wanted most for my birthday, I told him I wanted the truth so he told me.

The look in her eyes told me I couldn't help but answer her questions.
"Yes.  It's true"
"So will I end up like them?" 
"No.  Aric was born that way.  I didn't know what Mulo was at the time.  I found out at Bynni's graduation."
"And was Bynni born that way as well?"
"No, Mulo turned her."
"Why?"
"I honestly don't know.  You would have to ask him."
"So why not me?"
"Honey do you want to be like them?"
She looked down at the table again.  This was more than any child should have to deal with and it was all my fault.
"I don't know."

She didn't ask anymore questions after that.  We walked around a bit more but neither of us were in the mood to shop so we headed home.