Sunday, September 25, 2011

Chapter 51-Second Chances

The days ticked by and with each one that passed without contact from Marcus saddened me more.  Carter tried so hard to keep me positive but it wasn't his job to clean up the mess I had made for myself.  I was thankful for his friendship, but I was starting to feel guilty.  I was getting much more out of it than he was although he never complained.  If he wasn't working, he was at my house.  I was not comfortable at his because I was never sure when David would come home.  The last time I was over was a nightmare.  Carter was out on the phone because there was some issue at the hospital so I decided to cook him dinner.  I thought he ate out way too much and greasy diner food just wasn't healthy.
"All you need is to be in a french maid outfit and this would be perfect."
"Don't you have some poor naive girl to go corrupt?"  I replied closing the door to the refrigerator.
"I rather spend my night with a more experienced woman such as yourself." Their kitchen was small and he closed the distance between us quickly.  He pinned me up against the refrigerator.

"You know you want me.  You just like playing hard to get.  I don't mind the chase will make my prize at the end all that more enjoyable."
He leaned it to try and kiss me but I turned my head.  I tried to shove him off but he wouldn't budge.
"Get off of me you jerk.  You are seriously delusional if you think I would ever let you touch me!"
"Oh not only will you let me, you'll be begging me to."
"David what the hell are you doing?"

I was so glad Carter walked back in.  David stepped back and I quickly moved away.
"We were just talking."
"She's pregnant for goodness sakes.  Why can't you just leave her alone."
David didn't say anything.  He just winked at me then walked out.

"Are you ok?"
I just nodded my head. 
"Why are you his friend?  He's such a slime."
"It's a long story for another time.  I'm sorry he won't leave you alone.  He's use to women falling all over him.  Let's just go out for dinner."
"That's ok.  I've lost my appetite."
Carter walked me home.  I took a nice long hot shower then went to bed.

The next morning I woke up got dressed and started my daily routine of cleaning the house.  When my phone started ringing I assumed it was Carter checking on me.
"Hey beautiful."
My heart skipped a beat.  It was nice to hear his voice again, but I was nervous about what he was going to say.
"Marcus, I didn't think I would hear from you again."
"I know, I'm sorry.  I needed to think a bit and it just took longer than I expected.  Is this a good time for us to talk?"
"Yes, sure."
"Ok great."  Then the phone went dead.  I didn't know if he hung up or if the line just went dead.  As I started to redial him there was a knock at my door.

"I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone."
I stared at him.  He had flown back and that made me more nervous than ever.  I didn't have time to say anything as he pulled me into a kiss.  Once I got over the brief shock, I eagerly kissed him back.
"I didn't get to give you a proper hello last time."

He flashed his dazzling grin at me and my heart fluttered. 
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm good.  Carter does a great job looking after me."
"Do I need to be jealous of Carter?"
"No.  He's just a friend."
We settled into a silence.  Neither of us wanted to start the topic of the real reason he was here.
"Amari, I need to know.  Are they really mine?"
It was a legitimate question considering the circumstances but it hurt all the same that he felt he had to ask it.
"Yes.  You're the only person I've been with since the twins died."  I spoke softly rubbing my belly not wanting to meet his gaze.
"Ok.  Well then I want to know it all.  You are going to be the mother of my children so no more secrets.  No more coded talk about complications.  I have the same right to know whatever it is that he knows.  Then I can decide for myself where I go from there."

I thought over my reply carefully.  He was right in a way but I still doubted his ability to understand and accept me fully.  I was cheating him out of making the choice for himself, but I wanted to protect myself from the pain of rejection.
"What if I can't tell you?"
"I don't see it as you can't but instead that you won't.  If that is the case, then there is no way for us to move forward.  There would be no trust between us."
It was obvious that he has spent a lot of time thinking this over.  It was either all or nothing, I knew he'd be there for the kids but our friendship would be over.
"I have to do something."
"What?  Now?"
"Yes.  I want to tell you, I really do but first I need to do something.  Can you give me two hours?"
"Two hours.  I can do that."
Marcus left and for the first time I drove the car he gave me to go see him.

I hadn't seen or talked to Mulo since the day he came by the house.  I knew he was around, invading my dreams.
"You know it's customary to at least send a thank you card when someone gives you a gift."
"Yes you're right, it was very rude of me not to call and thank you."
My heart was racing.  I wasn't sure if he knew why I was there, if he did he didn't let on to that fact.
Can I offer you something to drink?"
"No, um I came to talk to you."
"Only talk, where's the fun in that?"
I could do this.  I could make it through this without getting sidetracked.  I had to.

"You can stop now.  I already know what you're going to say.  We've been down this road before and you know how that ended."
"But it's different this time.  I want to, no I'm going to tell him the truth about everything."
"No you're not."
"Yes I am.  I have to.  From the moment I met you I have been confused and controlled and I don't want that.  Sometimes I wonder if...I...if I really love you or if it's just you making me."  I wanted to take the words back as soon as they were out.  The look on his face was frightening.

"Is that what you really think?  Do you think I control your heart racing when I walk into the room?  Do you think I control the change of your breathing when I get near you?  Do you think I control the look of desire in your eyes when I kiss you?  You loved me before we met, I didn't control that.  I may have used it to my advantage a time or two but you my dear love me all on your own."
I diverted my gaze from his.  He was correct but sometime I just wasn't sure.  He had put me through so much and I couldn't understand how I could still love such a man.
"I'm sorry." I said placing my hands on his chest.  "But can you understand why I would think that?"
Mulo was silent.

"Please let me go.  I want a chance of normal.  Is that so much to ask for?"
"Your life is not one for normal any longer." 
"But I could have something close.  I need that and if you truly loved me you would understand that."
He turned and walked away from me.  He was seething with anger.
"Mulo please.  This isn't good for either of us, you have to see that."
"I won't allow it."
I walked up behind him and nestled my head on his back.

"You know my heart and my head.  I do love Marcus but I'm only in love with you.  I need this.  Please let me just try.  If he doesn't understand, and leaves me I will never ask anything like this of you again.  But if he can accept me, then I want to have normal for as long as I can.  You know the saying if you love something let it go.  Please I'm begging you to let me go."
He took deep controlled breaths.  We stood there neither of us wanting to speak, our relationship however undefined as it was, was torture for both of us.  I didn't want to let go so I tightened my arms around him.
"Get out."

In one swift movement he was standing behind me holding me tightly.  He gently caressed my face before whispering "He won't last.  When you come crawling back, and you will come crawling back, I make no guarantees that I will want you then.  Now get out!"  He walked away and I left.  I was shaking when I got to my car.  I wasn't sure what reaction I was expecting, why I thought he would understand that I needed this.

I had about half an hour to calm my nerves before Marcus would be back.  I just hoped things would go smoothly and he wouldn't think I was a complete nut job.  I really wished I could drink right now because I sure could use one.  I nearly jumped out of my skin when the doorbell rang.

"Hey.  You came back."
"You said two hours."
"Ok let's sit.  I'm going to tell you a story and at the end of that story you will know why I tried to not have you involved and I hope you understand.  If you don't, I won't be angry I only ask two things.  One still be a part of your children's lives.  Two tell no one else.  This isn't easy for me and I rather not be made a spectacle of."
"I can do that."

I started fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.  Marcus took my hand and smiled at me.  With that I let it go.  I told him about Mulo and meeting him.  I told him about Drake and Jesse.  I let him know about Marisol and how my dad had traded me and Amella to her to keep his secret.  I did fudge on what that secret was.  I couldn't tell him that my dad use to be a vampire or that two of my kids were.  I kept the whole vampire thing out of the story.  I know it wasn't completely honest of me, but I didn't want to sound any crazier than I already did.  When I was finished he sat in a stunned silence.
"So...your dad who was a cop, use to be some sort of criminal.  He dated this Marisol but dumped her after forcing her to have an abortion.  She then threatens to turn him in unless you give her 100 babies to replace the one she lost.  And she killed or had your sister killed as a warning she was serious.  Did I miss anything?"
I shook my head.
"That is quite a complication."

"I understand if you go running for the door.  I'm sorry I shouldn't have gotten you involved.  It's just that day I had just found out from my dad and I didn't plan on sleeping with you."
"Is it even possible for you to do what she asks?"
"I don't know, but I think it's more about hurting me to get back at my dad than actually completing the task."
"And do they all have to be by different guys?"
"Um...I don't know, it's just worked out that way."
"Well.  I guess we have a lot of work to do."


  1. Love the chapter. So glad Marcus came back! She really should have told him about the vampire thing too though. If he sticks around for the long hull he will find out and get upset that she wasn't completely honest. He might also understand that she has no choice and can't say no to having more babies even if she was willing to "turn her dad in"

  2. Well with the way she explained it, he knows she can't really say no due to the fact Marisol has no problem killing. Yes the vampire thing will come back to haunt her probably. She was as honest as she felt she could be at that moment which seemed to satisfy him for now.

  3. I am so mad at Mulo! He always, always says the wrong thing! I can understand his pain, but he should want her to be happy.

    Once again, I think that she made a mistake by not being completely honest. I hope that Marius will stick around, and Amari will find some happiness. At least for awhile.

    Another Great Chapter Jazen!

  4. Ugh... Mulo's such a creep. D:
    So happy Marcus is back! :3

  5. Ugh, I hate David but I'm glad Marcus is back!

  6. Ugh I think David is worse than Mulo... What a creeper. Glad that Marcus came around, he's such a nice guy. Hope that she can find her "normal" for a little while... whatever normal may end up being for her... other than having 100 babies.

  7. Marcus is awesome. "We have a lot of work to do." What a guy. Even Mulo didn't offer her that.

  8. I love that Marcus was so understanding, really I do. But a huge part of me thinks he'll make a run for it once the twins arrive and he sees just how much work it to raise kids.

    Aw Mulo, I could feel his heart breaking. But Amari's right, he needs to let her go, she has to give this normalcy thing a chance, and if she fails, at least she tried.

    Wonderful, compelling writing, esp the scene with Mulo and Amari. I loved your use of poses in this too. Great job all around!

  9. Wow that scene between Mulo and Amari was so tense my nose was practically touching the screen! I actually like that Mulo wasn't all "go be free" because that's not him at all! Marcus ~ glad he came back and now he sort of knows whats going on hopefully he'll stick around, but i'm betting not for too long!

  10. The whole truth is the whole truth. Avoiding the whole truth is going to be another regret, I just know it, and Mulo does too, from first hand experience. Mulo acted very rough in his release of her. I guess that is his way of dealing with emotional discomfort. Poor guy, but, he had it coming. I can't imagine that this is going to be easy for Marcus at all. He may find a good friend in Carter, if they stay there. Every single thing Amari does has some severe consequences. I can't wait to read more. :)

  11. Awww! I <3 Marcus! It was so sweet of him to offer to stay with her and help her through all of that! I do agree with everyone that not telling him the whole truth will come back to bite Amari eventually... But I'm starting to think maybe Marcus could understand even that? Of course he's be angry, but how could she tell him something that extreme all at once? And Mulo drives me insane! It's not like this is her fault, so she deserves a chance at happiness! I know it's not his fault either, and that he does love her but the least he could do is show it. I hope he realises that sooner than later! Again, I can't wait to see the babies! Great chapter, jazen! :)

  12. @Daisy--You know Mulo isn't the most sensitive guy. He could have handled that situation better but that's just not his style. :) She was suppose to tell him the whole truth but still held back. It may hurt her later on, but maybe not.

    @Drew--You are not a fan of Mulo LOL. I told you Marcus would be back, he just needed some time to think.

    @Catlover--Yes David is a definite creep. I need to bring Amari some happy so I knew Marcus would be back.

    @Dreamerz--David is worse in the fact his motives are purely self serving. He has set his sights on a Amari regardless of what she says. Mulo at least does love her even if he isn't the best at showing it. She is in search of the life she always imagined she will have but she will have just a few extra kids.

    @Jen--Marcus is an awesome guy but he doesn't fully understand the magnitude of what she has to do. He is going to at least try to help her for as long as he is around.

    @Val--Marcus won't run out on his kids. I wouldn't write him out of the story like that and ruin his good guy image. :) Mulo does need to let her have this moment but just chose to express that knowledge in his unique way. His heart was breaking but so was Amari's. He just uses anger as his way of dealing with feeling that he is not accustomed to having.

    @Angie--glad you enjoyed that scene. You're right that certainly would not have been in his character to just agree to what she was asking. Marcus will stick around for a few chapters but I will have to write him out :(

    @zhippidy--the whole truth is the whole truth but she still feels like she is protecting him from something. Her omission may come back in to play at a later time. Mulo was harsh, but that's his style when things don't go his way. He doesn't deal with this whole in love thing in the best way. She will stay put, he will travel back and forth for a little while.

    @Maddy--Yes Marcus is a great guy. He might be able to understand that vampires exist, she has two kids that could have done a little show and tell to help her explain it but she didn't see it that way. She just wants to be happy and to feel like her life is no different than anyone else. You would think Mulo would understand what she needs especially considering the role he played in everything, but that's not his style.


  13. Of everything Mulo pt her through, my heart broke for him. I have a love for him that is strange because I hate the way he won't stand up to Marisol and just give his heart what it wants, Amari. What's the worst Marisol can do? She's already hurting Amari.

    I hope things work out with Marcus. He seems sweet and understanding but Mulo's words are stuck in my brain.

    David is such a prick!

  14. Qui you don't want to kill him this time, that's great. :) It is sad that he won't stand up to Marisol on her behalf but Marisol would likely kill them both.

    This will work out with Marcus, at least for a little while. David is a prick and he's not going to let up even with Marcus being around.

  15. Awww, I really like Marcus! I knew he could handle it!

  16. "Well. I guess we have a lot of work to do."

    HAHAHA! I love Marcus! That was awesome! He took everything she had and prepared himself for game THAT'S a real man! TAKE NOTE MULO, REAL men do things they need to for the women they love INSTEAD of continuously hurt them!

    Add David to the DEATH TO GEORGE campaign dude tried to push up on a pregger? Like really?

  17. Mulo is right, he won't last. haha <--- evil laugh.
    No seriously, Marcus is back and I am glad. He is really good for her and she needs lots of good in her life.

  18. Awww, Marcus! I'm still kind of heart-broken about Mulo though! </3

  19. Awww, that last sentence made me smile, haha :D I'm so relieved he came back AND is taking this well! I know something is going to happen to mess it up, but I'm really worried about her mental health when that happens :/

    1. LOL Marcus is a great guy! He quickly became a fan favorite. LOL With a story that far-fetched he couldn't do anything less than believe it was the truth. He's loved Amari for a long time so if he's getting a second chance he's taking it.

      :( That is the nature of a baby challenge right??? Nothing good lasts. :(

      thanks for reading