Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Chapter 44-Ceula


The car ride home was quiet.  There was so much running through my mind.  CeCe, Mulo, my father.  How much more was I suppose to handle?  And then there was Marcus and the conflicted feelings I had over our reconnection.

When I pulled into the garage I didn't get out of the car.
"Mom?"
"Ceula please go inside shower and bring those clothes down so I can burn them."
I sat there with my hands gripping the steering wheel praying that this was all a bad dream and I would wake up any minute.  I took a couple of deep breathes and went into the house.

Sitting at the table waiting for her to come down I again felt sorry for myself. 
"I'm sorry mom." I heard her break into my thoughts.
"What were you thinking?"
"I dunno.  I just want to forget sometimes."
Looking at her now I saw my vulnerable little girl.  My heart ached for her and the life she was forced to live because of me.  I thought about how selfish I had been to keep her here.  Clearly I wasn't doing a great job and she should have been allowed to be with her father.
"How long?"
"A few weeks after..."her voice was barely above a whisper as she wiped tears from her cheeks.
It all made sense now.  All the extra sleep overs at her friends' house, the withdrawn behavior.  She hadn't even been talking to Nina like she use to. 
"Are you doing more than drinking?"
She nodded.  I missed it.  I missed all the signs that she was acting out but then again I wasn't looking.  Unlike Bynni, she hadn't let her grades be affected and she put on a good outward show.  She kept her struggles hidden and I missed it.  My child was drinking, doing drugs, and I didn't even want to know about sex.  The next question I truly didn't want to know the answer to but I had to ask.
"Does Mulo...does he help supply..."
Her eyes got big in horror.
"What? NO! He wouldn't do that, that's not why I went there."  I knew it was wrong of me to think it but he was a rocker after all and sometimes those things just go together.
"Then why, if this has been going on for months, why did you go to him last night?"
"I just wanted to see him."
She was holding back from me I could tell.  Whatever her reason for going she didn't feel comfortable telling me.
"You're grounded indefinitely."
"Ok."
"CeCe would you like to go to counseling.  You need to talk to someone.  I would love it to me be but if you rather it be someone different that's fine too."
"I'm fine mom.  I don't need to talk to a counselor people will think I'm crazy."
I wanted to protest but instead I let it go for now and would try again later.
"Can I go to my room?"
"Yes."  She got up and headed up the stairs.
"Ceula."
"Yeah mom?"
"You know I love you right?"
"Yeah mom. I know."

14 comments:

  1. Man. Just read the whole thing this morning, and I absolutely love it!

    I hope CeCe gets herself straightened back out before it's too late.

    Poor Amari, I hope she comes to terms with her fate soon and isn't dealt too much more heartache along the way.

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  2. Too short, I want moar! NOW! I'm glad Amari and Cece had their talk. I was shocked she'd even think that of Mulo, about the drug :-( Let's hope he wasn't tapping into her thoughts at that moment because he would not have liked what he saw.

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  3. Why Cece?!
    I hope that Amari can get through to her! And I totally agree with Valpre!! I can't imagine how Mulo would feel if he knew Amari doubted him like that! :(
    Onto the next chapter :D

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  4. Demenshia
    Thanks for reading it all. I am always happy to find out I have a new reader that is enjoying my story. I got 3 chapters done today so you will see a change happening for Amari.

    Val
    It was short but I knew the next chapter was going to be long and I wanted to wrap up Cece. Yes it was bad of her to think he would supply her with drugs but the idea of Cece going there asking to be turned never crossed her mind.

    Maddy
    She is dealing with her grief in a bad way and Amari was too distracted to notice. He would be a little offended to know she thought that of him and she did feel bad for thinking it.

    Thanks for reading!!!!

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  5. Cece was really struggling, but at least her mother knows now. Maybe she will be able to help her before things go too far wrong!

    Mulo really cares about Cece. He wouldn't do anything to hurt her!

    Great Update!

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  6. Daisy
    yeah she is having a hard time but things will get better for her. Mulo does care about her he was her dad for the first years of her life.

    Thanks for reading.

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  7. I love how you show how Amari feels about not understanding her daughter. I can't imagine how hard it must be to see your little girl turn into a troubled teenager...

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  8. Aww, I loved that conversation!

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  9. Very sweet and emotional. I'm glad they were able to have that conversation like two normal people. No shouting, no name calling and no accusations and it felt good. I hope Cece opens up to her about everything!

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  10. I would have died right at that table...I'm never having children...

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  11. What an awkward, uncomfortable conversation for them both :/ I hope they can reconnect properly, I'd hate for things to be awkward around them from now on. (right, I really need to be doing other things, so I will make myself stop reading and get on with things, but I'll be back)

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    Replies
    1. It was awkward, but it needed to happen. Amari had no idea how bad things were for Ceula, she hid it well. Now Amari knows that the miscarriage still deeply affects Ceula and she'll need to keep a closer eye on her.

      thanks for reading

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  12. Yesssss I know I'm late and this story was out so long ago but I LOVEEEE IT!

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    Replies
    1. No worries on being late. I'm glad you found it and that you like it. :)

      Thanks for reading

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