Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Chapter 25-Jesse's POV

I stood outside her door for a moment.  I had never been as nervous as I was at that moment.  I knocked.
"Can I come in?"
I peeked inside her room, she sat up wiping tears from her eyes.  I was pissed at Amari all over again seeing the pain and confusion on my daughter's face.
"What do you want?" she asked sniffling
"Just to talk if that's ok."
"Yeah I guess that's fine."
I wasn't really sure what to say.  This was just a confusing for me as it was for her.  I still found it hard to believe I had a child.  I was a father and I found out through a damn email.
"Sooo what's your favorite subject in school?"  I asked trying to break the ice.
"Do you have many friends?"
"Why are you here?" she blurted out ignoring my question.  "Where have you been?  Why didn't you come see me before?"  The questions just kept coming.
"Whoa, one at a time.  Ok I'm here to meet you.  I am currently living in Bridgeport but I move around a lot and lastly I didn't know about you until about a month ago."
She sat down and I could see she was processing what I had just told her.  After a while of thinking she asked more questions.

"Why didn't you know about me?"
"Well Ceula, that's a bit complicated."
She rolled her eyes.
"That's just grown up speak for I don't want to tell you.  Like the time I asked mommy where babies came from."
"Wow...OK then we'll take a different approach.  Your mom and I had a disagreement and well she never told me she was pregnant with you."
Again she sat there quietly processing what I was saying.  She was such an amazing little girl and I hated that I had missed out on her birth, her first words, her first steps.  That was time I would never get back.
"But why, why didn't she tell you?  Would you have been mad I was being born?"
"NO, not a all.  It had nothing to do with you.  Have you ever gotten mad at one of your friends?"
"And when you were mad did you speak to that friend?"
"Nope.  Once I got mad at Trinity Bullard and didn't talk to her for ALL of recess." she said crossing her arms.
"Right well sometimes when adults get mad at each other they sometimes quit talking but it can be for longer times."
"Mommy must have really been mad at you."  I started smiling
"Yes well we both were unhappy with each other."
She was too young to have to deal with such an issue but she was handling it well.  Ceula was a very bright little girl and although I hadn't known about her long, I was beyond happy to be her father.  We chatted a bit more.  She seemed to be warming up to me.  She told me all about her older siblings.  Bynni was always in trouble and Aric was gone a lot which made her sad sometimes.  She wanted to do ballet but Amari kept forgetting to sign her up.  She went on and on and I just listened in wonder.  We stayed up there talking until  Amari came to get us for dinner.

I knocked on Bynni's door. "Dinner is ready."
"I'm not hungry."  I really should have pushed it but I just decided to let her be for now.  I walked over to Ceula's room and knocked before entering.
"Dinner is ready"  Seeing them talking made me smile.
"Did you two have a nice talk?"
"Yes" Ceula chirped
Dinner was a little uneasy.  I could tell Jesse still had a lot he wanted to say to me but he was holding back.
After dinner they talked a bit more while I cleaned the kitchen.
"Ceula, it's time to get ready for bed."
"Awwww mom, but..."
"No buts you have school tomorrow.  You want to be well rested for your field trip."
"Yeah ok." she said pouting
She ran over and gave me a hug.
"Mommy I'm glad your not mad at Jesse anymore." then she ran upstairs
I looked at Jesse puzzled.
"She had questions, lots of questions about why I wasn't around.  As upset as I am at your for not telling me, I explained to her the best way I could without making you look like the bad guy."
"Thank you."
"It's getting late, I'd better go."
"Yes of course."  I didn't want him to go.  I wanted him to stay I wanted to be near him for as long as possible.
We held hands as I walked him to the door.
"Do you mind if I come by tomorrow?"
"No of course not."  You could always just stay with me...I mean here, I have an extra room." I hastily added.
"Thanks, but I rather not stay in his house."
That statement stung.  I remembered the look on his face when he learned that Mulo paid for the house  and for everything.  I remember him insinuating that Mulo owned me.
"I understand.  She gets home around four."
I watched him walk down the driveway and get into his rental car.  I still had to talk to Bynni so I headed upstairs.  When I knocked on her door, I didn't get an answer.  I peeked inside and she was fast asleep.  It would have to wait until tomorrow.


  1. Yay! I'm glad Jesse's involved now! :3
    Great chapter!

  2. Awwww...I love the father-daughter talk! So sweet <3

  3. That was great the way that you let us see things from Jesse's POV!

  4. Awwww, I liked the Jesse's conversation with Ceula too! So cute!

  5. Very happy Jesse and Cece had that talk and that he did his best to keep Amari's image in her eyes. The last thing she needs is another Bynni on her hands.

  6. Yay! I'm glad Jesse isn't holding anything against her, and her and Cece won't turn out like her and Bynni

  7. It's nice to see one of there fathers involved.

    1. yeah it sucks they seem to be deadbeats of sorts. :(