Marcus
I sat thinking about Amari. She
never came back and I didn’t really expect her to. The mood shifted after she
left. The kids all became less talkative with Florence sending a clear message
that they supported their mother. Florence picked up the change as well and we
cut the evening short. I was not handling any of this correctly. I couldn’t
properly work through my feelings for one woman while I was with another. It
wasn’t fair to either of them.
“Marc, what do you think?” Florence
asked stepping out of the bathroom pulling me from my thoughts.
She stood seductively in front of
me in a barely there negligée.
“I bought it a few days ago. You
like?”
I looked over her body which she
had on display for me knowing what she wanted. We hadn’t made love while she’s
been here and she was unhappy about that fact. It was hard to explain, but
after being with Amari I didn’t feel right being with Florence. Sighing heavily
I put my hand out. She slid hers into mine with a wide grin on her face as she
straddled me.
“We need to talk.” I said quietly
when she leaned in to kiss me.
“Talk?” she asked sounding
offended. “I am practically nude and you want to talk?” She finished angrily
climbing off my lap.
“Yes, we need to talk.”
“If this is about today, me talking
to her, I said sorry. I did not know she would run off.” I picked up on the
emptiness in her tone. She wasn’t really sorry, I knew that.
Florence had always been a jealous
woman, full of spirit and at one time it was something I loved about her.
However, in light of the current situation, I was seeing as more of a flaw.
Getting off the couch, I walked into the bathroom to retrieve a robe. She
snatched it from my hands and I knew this was not going to be an easy
conversation.
“I’ve not been fair to you.” I
start quietly. “I’ve handled things, this whole situation poorly and for that
I’m sorry.”
“No you have not.” She agreed. “But
you can make it up to me. We get the wedding plans back on track and things
will fall back to normal once we marry.”
I walked over to the window and
stared at the twinkling lights of the city. Out there I had a wife and family.
One that was taken from me, but now I had them back. I found myself wondering
what they were doing right now. Had Amari returned home finally? Was she still
upset or were the kids taking care of her? It was thoughts like these that made
being with Florence seem wrong.
“Florence, I think it would be best
if you returned to Italy.” I said turning to face her.
“You are breaking off with me?” She
cried rushing towards me. “I knew it! You leave me because I do not give you a
baby. You blame me, you have always blamed me.”
“That’s not what this is.” I
retorted quickly. “I’ve never blamed you. Each of our losses was hard on me,
but I have always, ALWAYS been there for you. Those things are out of our
control.”
“Then why?”
“Because I can’t stay with you in
good conscience with these growing feelings I have for her. I need to sort
through some things.”
“Sort through? How exactly are you
planning on sorting out?” She screamed getting angrier.
“I don’t know.”
“I do! You want to be rid of me so
you can be with her! You think I no see it, but I do. The look that crosses
your face when you looked at her today. She give you something I can not and
you leave me for it!”
“No! This is about me damn it! I
had, have another life before you and what I’ve needed from you is your support
and understand but instead I get this. You have become this selfish and one
sided person that I don’t know.”
I felt my temper rising so I took a
deep breath to try and calm myself. Florence stood speechless looking hurt and
this wasn’t what I wanted for her either. There was so much going through my
head, and she seemed to be so resentful that I was getting my memories back. It
left me with questions.
“Florence I need some time and it
wouldn’t be fair to keep you in this state of unknowing with me.” I pleaded
hoping she would calm down and understand that this needed to be done.
“I no stupid Marc. You can say this
is you caring about my needs, but it is a lie. This is why!”
“Why what?” I asked letting out a
frustrated breath.
“Why you hand me a robe instead of
making love.”
“You are losing sight of the point
Florence.”
“No! You want to lie to me. Tell me
Marc when was the last time? Do you even remember?”
I walked over to the couch trying
to recall the last time. I knew it hadn’t been while she was here so it had to
be back in Italy. The first time that popped into my mind was after my return
from the first trip out. I looked up at her and knew that my recollection was
correct.
“I’m sorry.”
“Just stop with this crazy talk
Marc. We go back home, get married. All will be fine. You can even have the
children visit. They will love it.” She said still refusing to admit what we both knew
to be true.
“Florence. You won’t be satisfied
not having a hundred percent of me and I can’t be with you with these lingering
feelings.”
The hopefulness in her eyes quickly
changed and I sensed her mood shift. Without another word, she got up and
stormed off to the bathroom. She came back out cussing me in Italian as she
gathered up her belongings. There was nothing I could say to her that would
make this better. She refused to see things from any other point. I could have
told her it wasn’t necessary to get another room, but I said nothing while she
called the front desk.
“Florence.” I called out as she
started to leave.
“What?” She snapped.
“Why did you never question my
past? Even without the possibility of a wife and kids, how could you not wonder
if I had other family that might be looking for me?”
She gave me a wicked grin. “It was
not important to what I wanted.” She replied with a shrug. She looked down at
her finger then slid the ring off letting it drop to the floor.
As I laid alone in bed, I wondered
how I was so blind to her selfish ways for so long. I owed a lot to Florence
and her family. They helped me through my change and never asked questions. A
lot of the early conversations they had gave me a sense they were talking about
me, but it was before I understood Italian. When I asked the connection to the
woman that turned me, I never got a straight answer. Magic and fate was all
they would say as to why I was with them. Now I knew there was more. Now I
believed me being with them wasn’t random and they knew, she knew more about
who I was than they wanted to tell me. Jumping out of bed I felt this urgent
need to see Amari.
Mulo
“I wondered when you would be by.”
I commented dryly as she stormed into my apartment.