Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Chapter 116-Crossroads



The house was tense. Finley picked up on it, and started spending a lot of time out with Zana. Marcus and I barely spoke, and when we did, it was about the kids. I’d tried to talk to him about us, but he would shut me down every time. Nothing I could say would make this better for him. I’d betrayed him in the worst possible way. I’d fought against my attraction to Mulo, and he showed a will power I didn’t know he possessed in keeping me from crossing that line. We got close, too close many times and no explanation was going to help Marcus deal with that. Each day that went by, I felt the wall between us grow. I thought being without him was lonely, but I realized I hadn’t truly experienced loneliness until now. To be so estranged that it seemed like I truly didn’t exist to him made me feel more isolated than I ever have.

“Marcus, how much longer will we go on like this?” I asked once we got the babies down for the night.

Most nights he ignored me when I spoke, at least tonight he stopped as if he were considering answering my question.


“I didn’t sleep with him Marcus. He wouldn’t let me go there because he knew how much I loved you and he knew what that would do to me to betray you that way,” I continued trying to capitalize on the moment.

Silence. I thought he was going to just walk away like normal, but he didn’t.

“You expect me to believe that you spent all that time with him and you didn’t once have sex with him? On top of that, he was the one to say no? Don’t insult me by lying Amari, it won’t help anything.”



Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Finley close the door to her room. This was not a conversation to have in the hallway especially if things got heated. He stepped forward quickly, grabbing onto my arm and pulled me into our room. I moved away from him as he closed the door. The look on his face was the same one from the night I returned home and I knew that he was still just as angry now as he was then.

“I’m not lying to you Marcus. I won’t say we didn’t come close, because we did.” I backed up more when I saw Marcus’ jaw clench and his hands ball into fists at my admission. “As much as it pains me to say we did…but…we never…I swear we didn’t.”

“But you wanted to.”

“It was out of my control. You’ve been through it. I was struggling Marcus. I nearly killed 3 people, I couldn’t handle the plasma options, so there was only him. Feeding from him made things worse. It was out of my control.”



“You could have come home Amari! You had other options, yet you chose to stay there, with him so don’t talk to me about things being out of your control. It sounds like an excuse to me.”

“That may be true, but it’s a valid one.”

“Please enlighten me on how that works out.”

I swallowed hard. This conversation could go south fast, but at least we were having a conversation. This was the most he’d talked to me since that first night.

“I could have come home. Stayed with one of the kids, imposed upon their lives but I didn’t want to do that. I have stumbled through this job of mine as a parent, felt like more of a burden to my kids than a help. I just didn’t want to do that to them again. I couldn’t do that to them again.” I moved closer to him slowly, hoping I was getting through.


“I could have helped you had you given me the chance!”

“Like you let me help when you were sick?” I yelled back.

Marcus took a step back as if I’d slapped him. “So this is punishment for a choice I made nearly a lifetime ago?”

I ran my hands over my face. “No…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just I’m trying to make you understand…I wanted to come home, but I was scared to.”

“Scared? What the hell would you be scared about?”

“Did you not hear me? I nearly killed 3 of Mulo’s servants that first day. Coming home, risking the kids, I didn’t want to chance it. The day I arrived, Finley hugged me and instead of me instantly hugging her back I zeroed in on her throbbing vein!”

I angrily wiped away at a tear as I thought about that day. “I wanted nothing more than to sink my teeth into her, my own child. So yes, I stayed with him until I thought I had things under control.”


Marcus stayed quiet for a moment. I could see the anger still on his face and feared that no matter what I said he was only going to hear I got close with Mulo.

“I don’t understand, Amari,” he said finally.

“Understand what?”

“How…after everything he’s done to you, to this family how you can still be around him. Want to be around him.”

I heard the pain and frustration in his voice, I could see it on his face. The way Marcus looked at me in that moment showed me that I’d betrayed him long before my change. He wanted something from me that I couldn’t give him.


“Mulo and I have a long and complicated…relationship. I’ve hated him, cussed him, beat him and finally forgave him. I had too because I needed to. That kind of hatred weighs you down, and believe me I have been down. Life has thrown a lot of shit my way, I’ve had to deal with and overcome more than my share of unfairness. I could not continue to dwell. Your anger, your hatred of him is yours and with good reason. You have to handle that in the best way you know how. But…but I can’t hate him for you. I’m fully aware some of my decisions have not helped things and for that I am sorry. God am I sorry for making a bad situation worse.”

I stepped closer to Marcus, thankful that he didn’t move away. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to make me feel hopeful, just a tiny bit that my marriage might survive this. Making a bold move, I reached out and placed my hands on his face.


“I told you in the hospital, you are the man I want in my life. Being with you and our kids, it’s the only place I truly want to be. I love you Marcus. With everything that I have, with everything that I am, I…love…you. I am not without my faults, so I guess you have to decide if you can love me in spite of them.”

The look on his face softened for a moment, his hands covered mine and I started to feel hopeful that I was getting through to him.


“It’s not you or your faults I have trouble loving,” Marcus said removing my hands. “it’s your actions. They betray your words every time. You say you love me, you say you want to be with me, but when a choice needs to be made, it’s him you run to. The thing with Flo, as much as I hate to admit it, he was the only one that could save you, but…afterwards. You told me the same thing then, you were scared so I have to find you in his house, in his bed, in his clothes.”

With each word he spoke, Marcus’ anger seemed to grow. “Now you are feeding me the same bull, being scared so he was the only option. Why is it when you are unsure of something, or need some time to figure shit out, you do so with him? I don’t need you to hate him Amari, I just need you to not want him!”

His words screamed out to me. I was right, I had betrayed Marcus long before now. I could have tried to explain I didn’t want Mulo, not like he implied, but there was no point.


“I love you Marcus. You may not want to hear it and you may not believe it, but I do. Sorry…sorry isn’t enough, but I am so very sorry for all of this.”

It may have been unrealistic given the circumstance, but I really wanted him to take me into his arms and tell me we’d be okay. That we would find a way to work through this like we’d done before, but he didn’t. Marcus didn’t even respond to my statement. We stood in silence and I could feel the death of my marriage creeping up on me. I started to speak, but was interrupted by the ringing of my phone. It was Cece, I hit the ignore button. I could call her back later, I really wanted to resolve this with Marcus. My phone started ringing again.

“You should answer that unless it’s someone you’d rather not speak to in front of me.”
I answered the phone, putting it on speaker so he’d know I wasn’t lying about who was on the other end.



“Hey, Cece, can…”

“It’s not Cecula, but she says hi.”

28 comments:

  1. What the heck...? Oh my... So much suspension... Good episode! As usual.. :)

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    1. Thanks...glad you liked it. Will try not to keep you hanging for long.

      thanks for reading

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  2. Marcus made a valid point, Amari could have come home and he would have helped her through her transition, but she chose to go to Mulo.

    I understand she was protecting her children and she didn't want to be a burden, but cutting off all contact with Marcus when she knew he'd worry about her and possibly reach premature conclusions was plain cruel and cowardly!

    Amari can justify it all she wants but she knew the risk she was taking when she went with Mulo. She chose to put her marriage at risk, there is price for that, hopefully she won't have to find out the cost.

    That said I'm glad to see them talking again, there's nothing worse than silent treatment.

    Interesting way to end the update *I'm giving you my judgy look*

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    1. He did make a valid point. She could have come home and had Marcus help her, but she had what she thought were good reasons why she stayed. :( Marcus is no longer buying that excuse so we'll have to see where they go from there.

      She did make matters MUCH MUCH worse by not calling him at least. She only needed to communicate with him, something to make it a little better for him, but she didn't. I think that hurt him more than her being with Mulo.

      She has put her marriage at risk, more than she even realized sadly. Marcus is a good man, he loves her, but he doesn't want to compete for her heart and he shouldn't have to.

      She was happy they were at least talking, but the outcome isn't looking good. :)

      LOL...the judgy look? Sorry...

      thanks for reading

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  3. They marriage better no end grrr however she should NEVER GONE to Mulo......NEVER. Now make sure they stay together.

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    1. I'm trying my best Lucky I really really am, but damn it those two can't get their acts together. :( I'm working on getting them back to a good place.

      thanks for reading

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  4. Why did you have to leave it there :).
    I need to know what happens next. I need to know what happens to Amari.
    Great chapter :)

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    1. um...because I haven't had a good cliffhanger in a while. :( Sorry I promise not to leave you guys hanging for long.

      thanks for reading

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  5. Nice ending there Mica...

    It's difficult to feel any kind of sympathy for Amari. After everything Marcus has gone through to have his family back. I mean she went and personal wrecked his life to have him home and then once she has him, instead of treating him like her husband and the man she loves, she goes running to Mulo every single time something happens. How is he supposed to feel like a man knowing he can never be the one to comfort her?

    Poor Marcus.

    It's nice they are talking again but man...this is just not a good place to be. They have a long road ahead of them.

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    1. :D Thanks I needed something to deflect this tension between Marcus and Amari

      I'm not expecting sympathy for her. She fucked up! She fucked up in a MAJOR way and she knows it now more than she even realized. She should have left him alone if this was all she was going to do. She loves him, she really does, but that damn pull to Mulo is a killer. :(

      You are right, and that's why he pointed it out to her, every time the cards are down it's Mulo. Granted Marcus wasn't an option for some of those times, but if she was given a choice Mulo seemed to be who she picked. :( That gives Marcus doubts and with good reason. She's gonna have to work hard to get him back at this point. She has A LOT to make up for and A LOT of trust to rebuild. It won't be easy but if Marcus is who she truly wants, she'll do it.

      thanks for reading

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  6. What the heck kind of an ending is that? Woman, you...you... *deep breath in* and *out*

    I expected "I'm sorry, but we can't get past this", "I'm sleeping on the couch again", "I think we need to take a break", but for you to throw me off their scent completely with a phone call... that, I didn't expect.
    Who's that huh? Who that is calling on Cece phone? Someone that needs a-whooping?

    Everything that Marcus said, putting it all out there hurt even me and I'm just reading the damned thing. Amari has no idea the hurting she has put on this man and it is time she realizes it. Yes, life has thrown curve after curve, bump after bump at her and yes, sympathies, but to break this man mentally, repeatedly? They were in a rut with their marriage way back and she went to Mulo. Cece ---> Mulo.
    Flo ---> Mulo. Vampire ---> Mulo.
    Okay, you know what, me lining it up like that isn't helping my mind set either. I wouldn't even be surprised if Marcus leaves her for good this time. I'm not saying he will and I might think differently tomorrow, but in the now... Lining it up like that, maybe Mulo is what's best for her and she needs to let Marcus go. NOBODY YELL AT ME, but yeah, think about it...

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    1. I completely agree with Jean-Marie on this one. Mulo has put her through so much bull, yet she keeps running back to the jerk. Amari and Mulo deserve each other, what's the saying, Misery loves company, and at the moment all she is doing is ripping out Marcus heart. I really hope he says to her, "Good riddance to bad rubbage". Amari is not a weak little human any more, so it is time for her to stand on her own two feet, and take charge of her own life, before EVERYONE ends up hating her, and she finds herself without anyone.

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    2. @JM um...deflection hahahaha you guys are getting out the pitchforks for me I needed a bigger villain :D And see it worked!!!! woot bought myself some time!

      It hurt me to write it. :( I love Marcus which is why I couldn't kill him but damn if I can't just let him be happy. Marcus is a good man, a real man to want to stand by her and has from day 1. She has put him through so much and he's still there, but everyone has their breaking point and Marcus is reaching his.

      Well for CeCe she didn't ask him to kill David or even take her away like he did. She did ask to have her memories wiped and since Marcus was a human at the time he couldn't have done that anyway. Aric and Bynni don't really mess with the memory altering thing so they wouldn't have been an option.

      Flo--well...she put a cloaking spell up, so Amari couldn't call out for Marcus or the kids :( It however didn't block that link she shared with Mulo so yeah...again he was the only one, but she should have gone home afterwards! That again made the situation worse.

      The turning...well Mulo was the only one that could complete the job. She was unconscious when he took her so she didn't have much choice in that matter. The coming home part again was the major fuck up.

      Amari makes terrible choices, all from what she things is a good place but terrible choices all the same.

      Marcus loves her and doesn't want to lose her to Mulo of all people but he's starting to think this is a losing battle. She makes it that way with her actions and just like he said her words mean nothing when she is constantly acting differently.

      They have a long uphill battle to save this marriage but it will only work if both parties can get it together.

      thanks for reading.

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    3. @Pinky Mulo has been horrible to her, but at the same time when she really needed him, he was always there. Most times it was to clean up a mess he made LOL but he was there. His love for her is flawed, but it's there and she knows and understands him much better now since they shared that link for so long. They have something that will always be there under the surface no matter what. :(

      Marcus...yeah she's put him through a lot and it shows the depth of his love for her that he's still there. But now that he sees things so much differently especially after having his life stolen, well he's not so understanding. :( If the two of them can stay together, it won't be an easy job to get back to a good place. It will all depend on how much work they both (mostly Amari) is willing to put into it.

      thanks for reading

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  7. Marcus stated quite clearly everything I'd been wondering. Yes, she has a long and complicated relationship with Mulo, but that should be Over if she really loves Marcus.
    *rereads JM's comment*
    Yeah. that. that last bit. I too wouldn't be surprised. Hopefully, we're wrong. The hopeless romantic in me wants his love for her to win out over the anger and pain.
    Guess I'll have to wait and see!

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    1. Yes he did, he hears you guys and brought all your points to her attention. :D

      it should be over if she loves Marcus, but it's not. :( They will always have this connection but it's how she chooses to proceed in life that makes the bigger difference.

      They have a crisis now to deal with that will force them to put this on hold for a while.

      thanks for reading.

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  8. Well it's good that they started talking, it may not have solved anything yet (if it does at all), but at least the can hear each other out and get things out in the open. I can understand why he's so upset that she's always turning to Mulo, never really thought about it before... she has turned to Mulo a lot. I already understood where Marcus was coming from, but even more so now, poor guy.

    That ending though. O.o So much suspense...

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    1. Amari couldn't stand the silent treatment much longer. That was worse than him yelling at her. He needed to get things off his chest and he was calmer now and able to talk to her without really blowing up at her. He wasn't so sure of that before.

      Yep she has turned to Mulo a lot and she didn't even realize how much until he laid it out for her. She has a lot to atone for if she wants to save her marriage.

      had to through in a bit of suspense. Amari's down right now so it was time LOL

      thanks for reading.

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  9. It's the Vampiress on the phone, isn't it? It's not Mulo. I don't think it's Mulo at all. It will be the wicked one reminding Amari of debt.

    Amari, Marcus, Amari, Marcus ..... I am not taking either side here. Yes, Maybe Amari could have or should have talked to Marcus, but really, if the shoe is on the other foot, would Marcus have run away from fear of harming his family or would he have stayed near to risk his fears becoming reality? I guess I am sort of taking sides.... I can understand Marcus is jealous of Mulo, but what the heck? His jealousy has blinded his common sense. Marcus just wants to fight. I think that because he has his own share of guilt and maybe he is feeling that he wasn't able to help her, so he feels inadequate. I don't know. Marcus is certainly jealous and is not thinking rationally. It might be better if they split. His cold shoulder attitude and distrust is poison.

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    1. LOL....well Amari is in a bad place right now so that's usually when a certain someone likes to come around :P We'll find out next chapter for sure.

      What??? I think you are one of the few that understands Amari POV. It's not easy to see her thought process when she's known for making so many bad decisions, but she really does (most) them with good intentions. Ok not calling Marcus...not so good, but staying with Mulo was for what she thought was a good reason. :(

      Marcus as a shit ton of anger towards Mulo for good reason. He had his life stolen by that man. For his wife, the woman he loves to keep seemingly choosing Mulo over him hurts!!!! He just can't deal with that and it shows in how he treats her right now. He has a reason to distrust what she says because her actions tell a different story. I think she finally understands that now, but the question is will it be too late?

      thanks for reading

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  10. Cliffhangers, one of many nightmares for readers! Marcus is completely right. Amari runs right to Mulo when something goes down. And I'm pretty sure she won't be able to stop her self from doing so the next time something happens, and something WILL happen considering everything shes been through already.
    Also, Woo team Mulo has almost half the votes! Oh and happy belated birthday to Kiss. I can't believe you missed the date by almost a month :P Can't wait to read your next story!

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    1. LOL yeah sorry about that. I try not to do them often because I don't really like them as a reader either.

      She does end up with Mulo when things need to be done, but he can handle them without a second thought. He is an ass on many levels but when times are tough he always comes through and sometimes the things that need to be done are questionable.

      New crisis now and Amari is about to be in a really sticky situation. A lot is going to be on the line and she's gonna have to make some tough choices.

      LOL I will fully admit to anyone I have a piss poor memory LOL. So it is very easy to see how I could have missed the birthday.

      I'm working on Retraction and hope to have it ready soon but my attention is pulled in different ways trying to finish Kiss, work on that, and work on my next book. Not to mention the fact my family thinks I'm supposed to take care of them...LOL

      thanks for reading.

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  11. Well, at least they're talking to each other now. They've still got a long way to go, and I don't know if they'll make it through this, but anything's better than the silent treatment. If Amari had just called Marcus while she was with Mulo -- it certainly wouldn't have solved the problem, but at least having the lines of communication open with Marcus would've helped some. Letting his imagination run wild didn't help one bit.

    Whatever's happening with CeCe sounds like trouble. Not good. Of course, bickering spouses have been known to rise above their own issues and work together when a family crisis arises. Hmm ... we'll see.

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    1. Yeah, Amari was thankful for that fact as well. They have a lot to discuss and it's up in the air what the outcome will be at this point. She messed up big time by not at least calling Marcus and she's fully understand how big that error was. :(

      That call doesn't sound good at all. :( Hopefully they will be able to put their issues aside and settle whatever crisis that has come up.

      thanks for reading

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  12. :O What's wrong with CeeCee? And about Amari, I feel a tad bit bad about hating her right now, but Marcus is right so I'm sticking with siding with him. Amari needs to stop with her bad choices already.

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    1. Nothing's wrong with her...not really. She has been just a little kidnapped. :(

      It's okay, Amari has made some bad choices and Marcus pointed that out to her. He's angry she has feelings for Mulo, but that's made worse by the fact she continues to run to him when in need. :( She does need to stop her bad habits and figure things out.

      thanks for reading

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  13. I saw the results of the poll (I may have voted despite being ridiculously late) so I guess hoping for them to fix things is pointless? :/

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    1. LOL no problem. I just liked seeing whose side people were on. It's crazy that most are on Mulo's side. It has no bearing on the outcome, it was only for me.

      thanks for reading.

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