Chapter 103-Unleashed

Marcus POV

I saw Florence enter the house shortly after Amari, but I was playing with Finley and couldn’t stop her. She was angry when I said she should just stay away from Amari today. She didn’t understand why I was protecting Amari’s feelings over her own. I was quickly growing tired of her selfish attitude. She refused to see things from Amari’s point of view, to even stop and think about how all of this would affect her. I knew I held fault there since it came across to her as if I cared more about how Amari felt than how she felt. I couldn’t properly explain it to her since I couldn’t explain it to myself, but I didn’t want Florence antagonizing her further after their first encounter.

“What were you doing?” I asked as she walked into the room to meet me.

“Nothing, I wanted to say hello. It did not seem she was going to speak.”

“Why? You are here to meet our children, not talk to her. I asked you to just leave her alone. Especially after the last meeting you had with her.”

I tried to see what the conversation was about, but she was actively thinking about anything other than what just transpired. That fact alone was enough to let me know whatever it was, it wasn’t as innocent as she wanted to claim.

“You know what, never mind. Just go back outside please. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Marc?”

“Just go! Florence please. I just need a minute.”

She started to argue with me but then turned and headed back outside like I asked. I was making this worse for her, and for myself. I knew looking at her, feeling her frustrations that I was going to have to figure out a better way of dealing with all of this. I headed up the stairs to find Amari. I knew she was planning on leaving and I wanted to talk to her before she ran away again. She was walking out of our room as I got to the top of the stairs.

“Going somewhere?”

By the way she hesitated before responding I knew she was hoping to leave without having to talk to me.

“You are supposed to be introducing your fiancée to our children. I’ve gotten everything set up so you can enjoy the day letting them get to know her without things being awkward with me hanging around.”

She attempted to step around me, but I blocked her path forcing her to step back into the room. “Are you ever going to stay in the same room with me for more than five minutes?  I want to talk to you, no, I need to talk to you yet you deny me.”

“We don’t have anything to talk about Marcus. You are engaged to be married, our time is over. We just have to work out things where the kids are concerned.” She replied sounding very annoyed. If anyone had the right to be annoyed and frustrated right now it was me.

“Damn it! Why are you so intent on making this so much harder for me?”

“What? I’m trying my best to get out of your way but you won’t let me.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t want you out of the way. You are the only real link I have to my old life. I don’t remember our sons, and I don’t know the triplets. Not to mention the hole I have in my life, OUR life and you are refusing to share. That’s pretty damn selfish of you! You are at a place where you want it to be the end, ready to just give up and walk away, but I’m at a place where all of this feels new and I’m not ready to just walk away. I won’t just walk away.”

Amari stood there silent for a moment. She opened her mouth to respond but closed it again. I stepped closer giving into the need I had to touch her. She let out the faintest sigh and I noticed her body relaxed just a bit.

“I’m sorry.” She replied. “You do deserve to know those things, you really do but it hurts to be around you. You come over and spend time with the kids; you even help Finley with her homework. The sound of your voice, your laugh fills the house and for a short while I have a lapse and I let myself think that it’s real, that you are home. That at least part of my nightmare is over and I start to feel hopeful that I will not only survive this crazy life of mine, but I'll have some happiness along the way. But then you leave. You leave me and you go to her and I'm left here in this house surrounded by memories of you and I feel so alone.” She pulled away from me moving further into the room to create more distance between us.  

“So to force myself to face reality, I let today happen. I thought seeing you two together would help me move on. To affirm what I was doing was the right choice because you are happy with her and would lead a normal uncomplicated life that way. But I was wrong. It may sound juvenile but when I saw her with you, touching you I had to stop myself from kicking her ass for touching my husband. And I know, I know it’s wrong because you’re engaged to her. You two are in a relationship and I know you do…that, but it didn’t stop me from getting pissed about it. It didn’t stop the jealousy I feel because she has what I want. The only thing seeing you with her did was fill me with so much anger and grief that I feel as if I’m going to explode! So please Marcus, right now I really need to go.”

This was the second time she'd let that strong facade crumble, allowing me to see what she was really going through and it made me realize that I was an idiot. I should have known better than to allow this day to happen. This situation was volatile with both woman and I stupidly agreed to have them in the same location. Florence has always been affectionate, but I should have thought about how seeing us together would affect Amari. I felt like an ass.

“I’m sorry.” I said stepping to the side to get out of her way.

“Yeah, me too.”  She replied before walking out.

Amari POV

I got in my car and just started driving. Marcus was right, I was being selfish but he didn’t understand it wasn’t out of cruelty. Instead it was out of self-preservation. He had spent all this time not knowing he left anyone behind, he had moved on, fallen in love, even attempted to start another family. I had been left behind to miss him, to raise our kids alone. It wasn’t his fault, and I’m sure he wasn’t trying to hurt me by being with her, but it was hard to see no matter how much I tried to prepare myself for it. I wanted to fall back into where we left off, but I couldn’t, so I opted for space. As much space as I could keep between us in order to minimize the hurt, but I was finding it only made it hurt more. I kept driving until I found myself pulling into the parking deck of his building. No matter what, I always seemed to end up with him.

“This is a pleasant surprise Love.” Mulo said smiling as he stood in the doorway.

Seeing him standing there, smiling made me so angry. Before I realized what I was doing, I slapped him hard and once I got started I couldn’t stop. I drove my fists into his chest, pounding away over and over again. I slapped him repeatedly, all the while screaming at him over what he’d done. I had to hold things in so often, I had to shoulder all the blame, always had to be strong and accept things as they happened because they were out of my control and I was tired.  

I was tired of him constantly interfering in my life, I was tired of having to pay for the sins of my father, I was tired of being unable to just have peace and happiness, and I was tired of being alone. Mulo didn’t say anything during my attack and he didn’t try to stop me. He stood there silently taking each blow without flinching. He let me unleash out all of my anger, hurt, and frustration until I was exhausted then he picked me up and carried me over to the couch. He sat with me, neither of us speaking because the words weren’t needed. I had said plenty and thought even more.

“Why Mulo?” I asked after I had calmed down. “Why not just tell me when I came to you about wanting to make things work with Marcus? I came to you; you knew I wanted a chance at happiness and if you had just…”

“If I had you wouldn’t have the triplets or Finley. Would you want to trade having them in your life to ease the pain you are suffering now?”

I felt the anger again hearing his self-serving answer. “So this is all for my benefit?” I yelled getting up from the couch. “Are you trying to say that my life is somehow better because of what you have done?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just giving you a different perspective.”

“A different perspective? Oh my goodness, I don’t know why I came here? Why I always come here. I’m a fool to think you could change or care. I asked you once why you hated me. You said you didn’t but you lied. Look at me Mulo, you can feel what I’m feeling. How can you expect me not to think you hate me when you have made me feel like this?”

The angry tears streamed down my face as I watched him sit there not speaking. My life was in shambles because of this man. There were so many ways things could have gone. I couldn’t imagine my life without my children, but I couldn’t help but ask why they came at such a high price. 

Logically I knew that the intensity of the pain I had now would lessen over time, but I also knew it was something I would never get over. I would always wonder what my life could have been had Mulo not interfered. He was to blame for the state of my despair currently, but the starting source of my heartache stemmed from another man that claimed he loved me. A sad realization hit me as I looked at Mulo. Every man that claimed he loved me, starting with my father, has hurt me in some way. I was tired of fighting.

“No!” He growled grabbing me by my shoulders. “I won’t do it; I won’t let you do it.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want this God forsaken bond with you any longer, and I sure as hell don’t want to live forever. I’ve suffered enough. More than enough for a lifetime.”

“So you would abandon your children, have them mourn you because your life hasn’t worked out the way you want?” He yelled angrily. “We’re bonded, I would find you and I will turn you before I let that happen.”

I pulled free of him not shrinking away from his angry glare. “You’re a selfish bastard!” I retorted then pushed past him.

Mulo grabbed my arm, spinning me to face him. “I’m sorry damn it! I am a very selfish bastard and I let that cloud my judgment on a lot of things. And I am sorry. I have made your life harder, and I can’t change the things I’ve done. But I WILL NOT let you give it up. I would rather you hate me for eternity before I let that happen”

I didn’t know how to respond. Mulo had never apologized for anything he’d ever done. He’s hinted at things, and with our bond I thought I felt twinges of regret, but he had never verbalized it until now.

“I’m trying to right some of my wrongs. And I am close, so you can’t give up now. I won’t let you.”

Mulo let go of me and took a step back. I tried to see what he meant, but he blocked me. I was too tired to care at this point. I turned to leave but I had one other question I wanted answered.

“Was is Marisol that turned him?”

“No.” He replied smiling. “I know she wanted him, but as you’ve said, I’ve inflicted enough pain on you.”

I wasn’t sure if I should thank him for that little consideration or not.

“Goodbye Mulo.”

“See you soon, Love.”