Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Chapter 102-Regrets

I rolled out of bed dreading this day. Marcus had been coming over every day for a week, but I made sure he waited until the kids were home from school. He’d spend a few hours with them before leaving to go back to Florence. He even spent time at Dunham’s house getting to know his daughter-in-law and granddaughter. I tried to avoid being in the same room with him whenever possible. Having him in the house, seeing him almost daily was hard enough. Some days I would leave to spend the time either at CeCe’s house or at Carter’s. Today however I wouldn’t be able to avoid him. The kids knew of Florence but today they were meeting their new soon to be step-mother. They were curious about her and wanted to meet her and I couldn’t blame them, it was only natural. It was time since they could get married now without any concerns. My official divorce decree arrived in the mail yesterday. I handed Marcus his copy when he came over then left. I didn’t want to be around any one so I took Fred and Wilma on a walk to the dog park.

I headed to the bathroom so I could shower and get myself ready for the day. The triplets were already in the dining room eating breakfast with Finley. I looked at my youngest child and recalled the heartache I had when I found her crying in her room one night. She looked at Mulo as a father figure as much as the triplets had. She would never get to meet her father, the triplets had theirs back, and Mulo no longer being around all left her hurt and confused. I was angry with Mulo all over again seeing once more the effect his actions had on my family. It was hard for her not to have a father, but I reminded her how many people she had in her life that loved her. They didn’t make up for not having a dad, but she would always have someone there for her.

“Good morning kids.” I said as I walked past them towards the kitchen to fix myself a cup of coffee.

“Mornin’ mom.” They all responded.

While my coffee brewed, I did another check of the groceries to make sure I had gotten everything at the store yesterday. It was going to be a small family cookout so that the kids could welcome Florence to the family.


“Yeah sweetie?” I responded turning to see Finley.

“Can I help make the cookies.”

“I can’t do them without you. They never turn out right.” I replied smiling as I pulled the eggs out of the fridge.

The triplets came in to put their dishes in the sink then left to go get dressed. Finley and I enjoyed a fun time making cookies. She was an easy going child, and it was nearly impossible to remain in a bad mood when she was around. We had just pulled out the second batch when the Edson walked in.

“Mom can I ask you a question?” He asked.

“Of course dear. You can ask me anything you know that.”

“Why’d you do it?”

I looked up at him and saw that this was going to be the talk they had been avoiding with me. I would catch bits of things as they talked to Marcus but none of them spoke to me about how they were feeling in all this. When I asked, I got the standard ‘I’m fine’ answer.

“Finley go upstairs and get dressed dear. I need to talk to your brothers and sister.”

Even though they weren’t downstairs, I knew they would be. They still communicated without the use of words, and if this talk was going to happen, it would happen with all of them.

“Aww Mom, we aren’t finished with the cookies. Why can’t I stay?”

“Because sweetie…”

Finley threw up her hand to stop me from talking. “Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I’m not old enough. I really hate that answer.” She grumbled as she sulked out of the kitchen.

“Let’s go sit shall we.” I said directing him towards the dining room. The others were entering just as I suspected they would. “So is this about Mulo?” They all nodded. “What do you want to know exactly?”

“Why not all of it.” Elton answered with a shrug.

“Because Mulo and I have a very long, complex, and somewhat ugly history. So how about I tell you the parts that pertain to you guys and the current situation. Is that ok?”

“Fine.” They grumbled in response.

Taking a deep breath I rubbed the tension in my neck. I surprised the stress of everything hadn’t pushed me back to drinking. There were times I felt myself wanting to, but I remembered how that worked out last time. I couldn’t do that to them again. I looked at their expectant faces and hoped things wouldn’t be worse after they heard what I had to say.

“I let him in your lives because I needed the help. I’ve always suspected he had something to do with your father going missing. But it wasn’t until after I asked him to come back because of the incident with Finley and finding out Marisol was influencing you, that my suspicions were confirmed. That’s why he moved out of the house and you guys were angry with me then for sending him away.” I stopped talking to look at them closely to gauge their reaction.

They sat quietly not saying anything so I took a breath then continued. “I couldn’t bear to see him every day after that, but you guys looked up to him, loved him, and you shut me out more. Our relationship has always been strained, I wish it wasn’t that way but it is. I love all of you and if being with him made you guys happy, I sucked it up and dealt with it because he gave you something I couldn’t; the feeling of acceptance you didn’t get from me. I know that doesn’t make up for the fact that I knowingly let him get close to you considering he was the reason your father wasn’t around.

I’m not making excuses for what I did, there’s no excuse for that. I saw him as the lesser of two evils. Believe me I thought about telling you guys about Mulo and what he'd done. Every time you guys ignored me or talked about how much you wished he was back in the house, I wanted to tell you. But honestly I thought it would drive a bigger wedge between us. Again that is not an excuse, I should have sat you down and told you. You guys had a right to know. This situation with your father was, is complicated. I’m trying to handle things the best way I can and I know I say that a lot, but it’s true. Unfortunately my best usually isn’t good enough. I truly am sorry for how my choices and actions have affected you guys.”

I waited for them to say something but they remained quiet for a while. I expected them to just get up and leave, but they sat as if they were trying to figure out how to actually respond to me.

“What happens now?” Elphie inquired finally.

“I don’t know. Whatever you guys want to happen. This has been hard on you and I’m sorry for my part in making it worse. I mean I assume you guys are enjoying your time getting to know your dad. Right?”

“Yes we are. He’s pretty cool. But why do you avoid being around him?” Elton asked. They were smart kids and I knew they had picked up on my not wanting to be around.

“I’m not avoiding him. Not really. I just don’t want to intrude on your time to get to know him.”

“Yeah sure mom, that’s what you’re doing.” Elphie retorted rolling her eyes. “We’re not blind you know. Marisol may be a terrible influence, but she was right about one thing.”

“Really? What could she possibly be right about?” I asked trying to keep the annoyance out of my tone.

“Sometimes it is ok to take what you want. Especially if you had it first.”

The doorbell rang and I heard Finley bounding down the stairs to answer. The triplets got up from the table to go greet our guests. I hid in the dining room holding my breath to listen for the voices. I was momentarily relieved to hear it was not Marcus. Kylie and Finley went running outside being chased by Fred and Wilma. The boys came in to greet me before gravitating outside. Dax started the barbeque while Dunham unlocked the pool fencing. I thought about what Elphie said. Was I giving up too easily? Marcus acted as if he only needed me to show interest, but that could just be the newness of his memories coming back. No, this way was for the best. I got closure, I could move on now knowing he was alive and happy. Happy, with someone else; my chest tightened at the thought of him with her. What the hell was I thinking about today? Knowing he was with her was one thing, having to see it was going to be a whole different beast to battle.

“Do you need help with anything?” Embry asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“No. I got an early start so most everything is finished.”

I turned to see her just standing there. I could tell she wanted to say something, but she wasn’t sure if she should. Our relationship was courteous but we would probably never be friendly. She was the only one of my children-in-law that didn’t refer to me as mom. She’d never tried to call me that and I’m not sure how I would react if she did. For the longest time she still called me Mrs. Smith. Now, if she addressed me by name, I was Amari, however she didn’t seem very comfortable calling me by my first name.

“Is there something you needed Embry?”

“No not really. I was just wondering, I mean I get I’m probably the last person you’d talk to, but how are you? I mean handling all of this with him coming back. Dunham has been telling me more about him from what he can remember and everything. And meeting him, well he seems like such a nice guy and with him going missing then coming back and everything.” I stood there feeling sort of confused as she talked.  “I’m sorry it’s none of my business and I’m rambling. I tend to do that when I’m nervous and well you still make me nervous. I’ll leave you now to finish up.”

“Embry.” I called out as she turned to exit the kitchen.

“Yes Ma’am?”

I wasn’t sure why I stopped her because she was right, having a heart to heart with her was something I would not be doing. However she did seem sincere in her concern which was strange to me, but touching as well. The doorbell rang before I could come up with something to say. I made no move to answer it knowing who would be waiting on the other side.

“I’ll answer it.” Embry said quietly picking up on my hesitation.

She left me standing there and I instantly started trying to figure out an escape route. I doubted I would be missed; after all I was just the mother. I was crazy to think I would be able to make it through this day. I didn’t move from that spot in the kitchen until after I heard Embry lead them outside. Slowly I walked over to the fridge to grab a beer. It wasn’t my first choice of drink but I needed something to help stop my shaking hands. 

As much as I wanted to avoid them all day, I knew I couldn’t. Finishing my beer, I dropped the empty bottle into the trash before filling the cooler with ice and sodas to take outside. Marcus and Florence stood talking to the triplets and the moment she saw me, she slid her arm around his waist, in a natural response he draped his arm around her shoulders. Even though it pained me to see them together, I couldn’t force myself to look away.

“Hey mom I think the burgers and hot dogs are done.” Dax called out making Marcus looked over at me for the first time.

I diverted my eyes quickly and made my way over to Dax. I went into the house to get the lettuce and tomatoes in case someone wanted it for their burgers. Taking a deep breath, I headed back outside.

I stopped when I saw Finley flying through the air. She was squealing in excitement while Kylie stood by yelling me next over and over. 

When he stopped I smiled watching her wobble from the dizziness. After Kylie had her turn Florence walked over and said something to him. He turned and smiled at her then she leaned closer and gave him a kiss. It wasn’t much, just a quick harmless kiss but it had the power to knock the air from my lungs.

“Mom are you ok?” Dax asked as he sat the food on the table.

“Yeah sweetie. Look everything is done, I don’t think you guys need me for anything so I’m going to go for a little while.”

“What do you mean go? This was your idea.”

I looked over at Marcus again and saw Kylie hanging off his arm. He had the biggest smile on his face and didn’t mind being used as a jungle gym. He missed out on doing all of that with his own kids and he had been doing a great job including Finley when he was over. Then I looked over at Florence who was having a conversation with Elton and felt out of place in my own home. I didn't expect them to hate her but I also didn't expect to see them look so comfortable around her this quickly.

“I know Dax but your father being here is different for me than it is for you kids.”

“Then why did you invite them, her here?” He asked lowering his voice.

“Because I needed to.” I replied giving him a soft pat on the back before heading into the house.

I was halfway up the stairs when I heard her call out my name. I thought about ignoring her and continuing on to gather up my purse and keys, but something in me made me curious as to what she could possibly want. She was coming out of the dining room when I stepped into the foyer.

“Do you need something Florence?” I asked as I closely examined her choice of outfit. The tight mid drift shirt, the short shorts, all very inappropriate to me considering she was here to meet her future stepchildren, but I guess this was what Marcus liked now.

“I just wanted to say thank you.”

“For?” I asked skeptically.

“For handling Marc’s choice in such an adult way.”

I closed my eyes and counted to ten as I tried to keep myself from ripping the hair from her head. She seriously came to me to gloat and thought disguising it in some half assed way would make it better.

“Florence” I said stepping closer to her. “if thinking he chose you over me helps you sleep better at night, then by all means do so. But don’t come to me with your fake sincerity thinking you have somehow won the prize. Marcus is with you because I love him enough to let him go. He didn’t choose you over me. I didn’t fight for him, but believe me when I say if I had, you would you have lost!” I stepped back taking a nice cleansing breath. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have more important things to attend to.” I turned and headed back up the stairs but I heard the door open and Marcus calling for her.


  1. I have such mixed feelings about this entire situation. I do think that Amari gives up way too easily. She double and triple questions herself to the point of immobility and then makes a decision, justifying her decision on what she feels others will want more so than on what she wants. But it's all for the best of everyone else, so she convinces herself. Dunno... I think she missed the chance to give Marcus the time to make his own decision. And her kids. And Mulo, to a point. She frustrates me *LOL*

    1. Oh, and this - " the feeling of acceptance you didn’t get from me " --- did she really think that or did she mean that the feeling of acceptance you feel you didn't get from me....? I know she felt estranged from the triplets, and maybe she really did not accept them. Dunham and Dax did care for their needs more than she did.

    2. I totally understand where you are coming from. She does over think, and always considers the affect her decisions will have on others first.

      She should have given Marcus more time to make an informed decision instead of pushing him towards Flo. Its a messed up situation and she feels bad that he was affected in such a way because of her. Her kids could be a little nicer to their mother and Mulo well some days he really needs to jump off a cliff. LOL

      she probably meant it the way you worded it. She did have issues with them when she first learned they were vamps. She felt guilt thinking she cheated on Marcus. Then by the time she tried, it was too late really. She would like for things to be better, but they wouldn't let her in, but they do seem to be warming up to her.

  2. That BITCH!!!

    I seriously hope Amari is pregnant. WRONG REASON, but just, all the same! I was willing to give Flo a teensie weensie chance, but she just trampled that.

    Let Flo know!!!!! With a BABY, who Marcus was LOVING just a few days ago and who he REALLY chose!

    UGH, that BITCH!

    1. I second that wholeheartedly lol.

    2. LOL yeah she really just doesn't know when to stop.

      I still haven't decided on the baby thing, but man that would kill Flo to know that Marcus cheated and knocked up his ex. She can carry his babies to term where as Flo can't. That would be so bad.

      hahaha Flo has no friends.

    3. YES! That's exactly what I was about to comment too!

  3. I really really REALLY hope that Amari is pregnant with Marcus baby, that would really put a huge dent in Florence's ego, and trust in him. I can't STAND that witch.

    1. Another Marcus baby? I'm still deciding on if that will be the case or not.

      It would be a huge dent in Flo's ego for sure. There would be no way Marcus would stay with Flo in Italy if Amari is pregnant. This man missed out on raising all of his children, he'd be moving back to the states.

  4. Flo needs to be put in her place....first of all she is the other woman, she hasn't won by any stretch of the imagination. As for Marcus fight for the woman you really love and tell Flo to go jump. I would say more but I'm holding my temper here.

    1. LOL well Amari sorta did that this time. She let her know quick Marcus didn't choose Flo.

      He doesn't want to just let Amari go, but he is trying to give her what she asked for. However with all the things coming back, and him having renewed feelings for her, he's not ready to just walk away. Now that's not really fair to either woman while he figures things out, but he's doing the best he can.

      and you don't have to hold back. I can take it. :)

  5. That's right! you tell her Amari!! love her last comments to Flo, put that girl in her place.
    Flo's insecurity is understandable though, since she has to know deep down that what Amari said is true, but she does need to stop being such a B. Sometimes it's best to just shut your mouth, girl!
    It's good the kids get to spend time with Marcus, they really need that :D

    Where, oh, where is Mulo??;)

    1. LOL yeah Amari was trying to be adult about the situation, but Flo just doesn't know when to quit.

      The kids are enjoying their time with Marcus and he is enjoying getting to know them. He loved being a dad, and that's coming back to him naturally.

      Mulo, we will see him next chapter.

  6. Seriously I know it might look bad on Amari's part to slap the piss out of that bitch but I'm in complete agreement about the Quads! I can't wait for her to give Marcus even more kids that evil, frigid bitch can't! Ugh, really? Man I would have jumped on her so fucking fast. What kind of...and! Amari's a way better person than me because that whore would have gotten an earful AS I was kicking the snot out of her!

    I loved Elphie's comment! I'm hoping the kids finally see that Amari has done everything she could for them; when they have some of their own they'll understand. But with everything that's been thrown at her she's handled it all rather nicely. I can only imagine how the the Trips feel though knowing now that it was all Mulo. Man that's really gotta hurt :(

    Marcus looked so cute with his family! That was a nice little BBQ, looked like a lot of fun...well would have been better without Flo. But the children are really taking a liking to Marcus :)

    1. LOL yes Amari was probably ready to kick Flo's ass today. A few times!

      hahaha the Quads. Really??? Quads? Marcus and is super sperm coupled with Amari's super fertileness, anything is possible. :P

      Guess it is a good thing Amari was trying to be 'adult' about it as Flo said, man if only she knew that Amari really wanted her to be bald and poke out her eyes LOL. (more on those feelings next chapter)

      Yeah the kids are starting to come around. Amari could have forced it by telling them how much of an ass Mulo is, but this way worked out. They have a better view of how much she took from them so that they were happy. They are hurt by the lies but they also are finding a new respect for their mother.

      He enjoyed himself. He felt very at home at the house, with the kids. Flo was the one thing that didn't belong. And yes they love their daddy. He's a great guy and since they are starting this relationship with no expectations, it makes it easier.

  7. Argh!! Amari needs to fight for her man!! She loves him and they need to be together. And I'm not just saying that because I want to see Flo cry, really I'm not... :)
    The BBQ would have been perfect if that Flo wasn't there!!

    1. yes she does! I think if she did, it could make all the difference for Marcus. And of course you aren't, why would you want to see Flo cry? LOL

      Aww she had to come meet her soon to be step children.

  8. OMG! I feel so bad for Amari I really do. She always goes about things the wrong way and regrets it, hopefully she will listen to Elphie and fight for him. I can't even feel bad for Florence not after she continues to be overly affectionate just to rub it in. She is so lucky Amari was being level headed about the situation. Hell she should be kissing her feet for even allowing her into her house lol.

    1. Yes she does. You would think she would have learned by now. She does need to fight for him or maybe Marcus will make her fight. He's not really ready to walk away yet.

      Flo was a major bitch this whole chapter. Rubbing up on him, kissing him, then that talk with Amari. She is begging for an ass kicking. But Amari was trying to be level headed and not get into a brawl in front of her children. Don't worry, Flo's behavior isn't going unnoticed my Marcus.

  9. Somebody really needs to smack Florence, really hard. What a bitch. Ugh, Can we put her back on a plane to Italy yet? Without Marcus of course, he can stay, it's just Florence that needs to go and stay gone. I like Amari's remarks to her though, way to put her in her place (she still just needs a good smack across her stupid face).

    I'm glad Marcus and his children get to see each other and know he each other now. It looked quite a nice family event (Not counting Florence making things so difficult for Amari). Marcus is such a good father.

    1. LOL. It seems a long line is forming for a chance to knock Flo around a bit. She does need to go home, or at least stay quiet! She just can't help but to try and rub things in Amari's face, but she learned Amari can bite back.

      Yes Marcus is enjoying his time with his children. He wants to be a father, that didn't change. The kids are enjoying this time as they get to know their father. Florence was really the only person that didn't fit the scene.

  10. Can we vote about if she's pregnant with Marcus baby? I say yes! Let her be... Pretty pleassse...

    1. hahaha I already know the outcome of that vote.

  11. Alright. You warned me. Yep. Pretty damn pissed. Oh, I SO wanted Amari to grab hold of that hair and yank it off that b*tch's head! Then rip that stupid too-young-for-her midriff shirt to pieces so that she had to borrow something more suitable. Did she Want to look like Daddy's cheap piece of fluff?

    I'm about ready to dump a cooler of ice water on Amari's head to finally get that woman to wake up. She thinks she's being all noble and crap, trying to make everyone around her happy. That won't work if she's miserable because the people that LOVE her would be upset if she's upset so it won't work!

    1. Yeah I knew you would be. I'm sure Amari wanted to grab hold of her and kick her ass a few times during the day. Flo just doesn't know when to shut up and let things alone.

      Yeah she does need a wake up call. She's not hiding her misery as well as she wishes she could. If Flo keeps up, Amari won't be so willing to go quietly into the night.

  12. Out of the mouths of babes! Elphie told her right! It's good that Amari explained more to the triplets about what happened. Maybe it will be easier for them now that they understand more of why Amari handled things in the way that she did!

    Okay, I am still seething at the way Florence gloated! I love how Amari told her off! I hope this makes her fight for Marcus. I no longer think that Florence is at all right for him! If she were really so sure that Marcus was with her because he loved her the most, she wouldn't feel it necessary to make such catty, gloating comments to Amari. She wouldn't feel it necessary to make such a show of affection between herself and Marcus in front of Amari.

    I hope that now Amari realizes what a mistake she's made. I hope she does something about it before Marcus marries Florence or that Marcus will wake up to the fact that he's with a b*tch, and that Amari is the better woman. Amari is more loving, humble and definitely less selfish! I hope he see's that before it's too late!

    1. ha yep. She called it like she saw it. They aren't stupid and they can see what Amari was doing. LOL The talk was very necessary and it did help for them to hear things from her POV finally. And being open to hearing it, which was the big thing.

      Flo is showing she's a real bitch. She is really a lot more insecure about her relationship with Marcus and her actions show that insecurity. Amari can hold her own when pushed and Flo has stepped to her twice now and was completely out of line both times. Let's hope Marcus does get a wake up call and realize the type of woman he's engaged to.

  13. LOL @ Florence's comment, thanking Amari for acting in an adult way. I used to feel sympathy for

    her, but now I can see she's just looking out for her own happiness, she doesn't really love

    Marcus, if she did, she'd let him be where she knows his heart is. It must have been a very

    tough day for Amari. At least she got through it, and handled herself with grace and class.

    1. LOL yeah Flo is turning out to be a real bitch. She refuses to see what doesn't benefit her. Amari was/is trying to be the bigger person, but Flo just continues to push.

  14. I guess my feelings on the whole thing is, and as you know I strongly disagreed with her going to him in the first place, but since she has and he's here why give up? Isn't the love she still has for him the reason she went to him in the first place?

    The kids are taking it well, though, and I think in a way are even understanding their mom a little better now, that's a good thing...edenz~

    1. She's giving up on him because she doesn't want to drag him back into her crazy life. She tried to get rid of him the first time. Her kids deserve to have their father back, and she's willing to sacrifice her happiness to let Marcus have an uncomplicated life.

      The trips are trying to blame Amari less. They realize now how hard everything has been on her.