Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Chapter 99-Harsh Reality



Marcus paced around my room pausing every so often to look at me. He started to speak but stopped several times.

“What does that mean? Half-state, bonded, his? What the hell is going on with you?” He was getting pissed again I could see it. This time he was at least trying to keep his anger in check.

Rolling the tension out of my neck I took a deep breath as I tried to explain my situation. “The half state is just that. When he attacked me he didn’t give me enough of his blood to completely change me. I got some improvements such as I no longer need my glasses, my hearing has improved, and I’ll live longer than the typical human because I am aging slower.”

“Ok, and the downside is…”


“The downside is that until he sees fit to finish the job we are bonded. He can hear my thoughts, I can hear his. We have a strong mental connection that allows us to communicate that way no matter the distance.”

Marcus gave me a bewildered look when he heard that. “Hear your thoughts? Like in everything, always?” I knew what he was asking without him having to actually say the words.

“Yes, but no he wasn’t around when we…he um left, put up a block. I can tell when he’s there and when he’s not. The moment I opened the door and saw you he was gone.”

He looked as if he was skeptical but I guess he rather not think too hard on somebody else being sort of present during a time like that.


“Why do you continue to live like this? Why not just have someone else complete the change?”

“Do you think I want to be like this? If I had a choice?” I asked sounding very exasperated. “He has to do it. If someone else, another vamp tries I could die. Something about mixing of vamp blood in my system.”

Marcus walked around more as he processed everything. I walked over and took a seat. He was having a hard time with this, hearing the rest was not going to be any easier.

“Have you tried? How do you know he’s not lying to you?”


“I’m sorry but I’m not willing to take that sort of risk with my life.” I snapped at him.


“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” He said kneeling in front of me. “This is a lot to take in and I’m trying to understand.” I saw the anguish in his eyes and I wanted to make everything right again.


Mulo took him away, but I made it worse by going to look for him. I wanted him back, my children deserved to know their father, but at what cost? No matter how this went someone was going to be hurt and that someone was most likely going to be me.

“It’s late and I’m tired.” I said standing. I was suddenly very aware of the fact I was in my bedroom, our bedroom alone and that fact made me very uncomfortable.

“Is that your polite way of asking me to leave?”

“Well unlike you, I still require sleep. I have an extremely hard conversation ahead of me tomorrow.”

“I understand.” He said turning to leave. “But we’re not done here.”


“Marcus why?” I asked becoming annoyed with his persistence. “What’s left? You know enough to make the right decision. I won’t keep your kids from you, so why keep dragging this out? It’s not fair.”

“So you really want me to just go?” He asked looking disappointed. “Would it really be better for me to just sign the papers and be a part time father to my children?”

“Yes. Two of your children are adults and the others are teens that will be adults soon so…”

“So I’ve already missed out on being their father why start trying now?” He finished for me sounding angry.

It was a painful reality but it was the truth. Mulo had robbed him of the chance to raise his children and that was something he couldn’t get back.

“I'm not saying you can't still be a great father to them, I have no doubt they will welcome you into their lives. But, as far as we are concerned, I've already messed up your life once. I mean look at what being with me has cost you so please go be happy with Florence." Marcus closed the distance between us pulling me into his arms. I should have pushed him away, but the sense of calm I had being in his arms again kept me in place. "I’m sorry.” I said softly.


“For what?” He asked rubbing small circles in back. 

“For all of this. The first time we reconnected, I should have tried harder to push you away. I should have never let you get close and I should have never fallen in love with you.” It was that last part that really was the downfall of everything. I was selfish for wanting something I knew I couldn't have when he agreed to all of my craziness.

“Was I happy with you?”

“What?”

“When we were married, was I happy in the life I chose to have with you?”

“Yes.”

"Do you regret your time spent with me?"

"No, of course I don't. I made a lot of mistakes and I wasted a lot of the time we had together. That I regret. And I regret what's happened to you because of me. But being with you, being your wife was wonderful."

“Then you have nothing to be sorry for.”


After Marcus left I laid awake for a long time listening to the silence of the house. Sleep didn’t come easy since I couldn’t stop replaying the conversation I had to have with the kids. It was close to ten a.m. when I rolled out of bed the next morning. I headed into the kitchen to make me a cup of coffee but stopped when I walked into the dining room. Slowly I walked over to the table and picked the papers that were out of the envelope. I read the note on top three times.

Your papers have been signed. I won’t show up again
unannounced. Call me after you talk to the kids.

Marcus


I flipped through to the last page and saw his signature sitting there in bright blue ink. It was done. A part of me held out hope that he would pick me. Being with him yesterday, I foolishly let myself hope that I might get some sort of fairytale happy ending. However the harsh reality of my life was staring at me, there on the last page of papers I sent to him. I didn’t even get a chance to fully let that heartbreak set in because someone was ringing my doorbell. I stuffed the papers back into the envelope and wiped away the tears that had started. She was the last person I needed to see standing in my doorway.

36 comments:

  1. Whooo that was a very harsh reality wake-up!
    Hell, even I felt it!

    I didn't think I'd be able to feel it like that for her, but I did... I want to cry! (It's not over damn it!! IT IS NOT!!!)

    What the hell? She can't even cry about it in peace, someone has to come ring the damn bell!

    GO AWAY FLORENCE!!! He's already yours!!!!!

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    1. yeah :( She thought she was doing what was best for him, but the reality of him actually signing those papers hit her harder than she thought it would.

      It's not over just yet, we see why Marcus felt he needed to sign and how he feels about it next chapter.

      Nope she didn't even get a chance to cry in peace before someone is at the door. You think it's Florence? We'll see soon.

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  2. Well full disclosure and now she has her signed divorce papers. Damn. I was hoping for her fairytale happy ending too. But this doesn't necessarily mean the end for them. There's still hope :D I'm pretty sure that it'll work out as it has in my head, Marcus and Amari back together again.

    I'm glad he asked about the half state thing though and was trying to work out a solution. I think he should definitely try and kill her and wait for Mulo to save her. After everything I hardly believe he'd just watch her die because it's his entire plot to have her. Marisol too. So yeah, definitely the best way to go.

    The thing about him not being needed as a father, sad but true. I hope he's able to at least be a grandfather and see what it's like to raise a child from a young age. Plus I'm also going to hold out hope that their little tryst has resulted in a quartet of babies too (since he seems to add a number every time they are together). He has supersperm. Here's hoping :D

    She? Marisol? Florence? Either way this just sounds bad.

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    1. Well it hasn't even been full disclosure. She never told him about the babies she's supposed to have and how Marisol plays into it all. So he signed just hearing about Mulo and because she asked him to. :( I know you are holding out hope they end up together in the end.

      He was trying to find a solution. He feels bad for her situation and wants to help her if he can. Plus he does have feeling for her returning so to hear she's connected to the very man that ripped apart their family gives him extra incentive to get her free. Ha you think Marcus should try to drain her? Wow that is an angle, force Mulo's hand to make him change her in order to save her life. It could be a possible solution to the problem.

      It does hurt that he missed out on raising his children. He can be there for Kylie but it won't be the same has having his own. HAHAHAHA QUADS???? Really? What are you trying to do to me? He better keep that supersperm under control. I can't handle 4 babies. The trips nearly killed me.

      Yeah either one of those would be a bad option for visitors. :(

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  3. Amari really frustrates me sometimes. Like in this update. She insisted Marcus should sign the divorce papers and now that he has, and given her what she wanted she's all "poor me" etc. I mean if she wanted their relationship to work, she shouldn't have tried so damn hard to push Marcus away, she should have left him to make his own choice.

    I honestly think he signed the papers because he thinks it's what she wants. I get she was trying to do the honorable thing, and be the better person and think about Florence too and the life that Marcus has built with her, but sometimes there's nothing wrong with putting her own needs first.

    If she was upfront with Marcus and told him she wants the fairy tale ending, I don't think he would have walked away from that.

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    1. That is totally understandable. She does want him to be happy and have an easier life but at the same time she does want him. She still loves him but thinks this is the better option even if it hurts. She won't really pull the poor me card, she'll keep her thoughts on how she feels to herself.

      That's exactly why he signed them. He saw the pain she is in and the guilt she feels about what happened to him so that was his way of easing her burden so to speak. It's funny you say that about her needs because she has a talk with Elphie in an upcoming chapter and she (Elphie)tells her sorta the same thing.

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    2. oh and you're right if she told him she wanted things to work, he probably would have been open to that. He's still exploring his new feelings for her and even though there is Florence to consider he wouldn't just turn his back on what they had since it was never really finished.

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  4. Okay, I knew it was a choice that he might make and I tried to prepare myself. I wasn't prepared!!! I am so sad and mad! He was supposed to pick my Amari!

    I don't care how nice Florence is. Marcus still cares for Amari whether he truly remembers that or not. I think that the only reason he signed those papers is because of what she said about it being too late to really raise his children.

    I know it can't always go the happy way, but I'm still so sad for Amari! I bet it's Marisol at the door wanting to revel in how miserable Amari is feeling!

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    1. Neither was Amari. She asked for, and pushed for this outcome yet she still wasn't prepared when it actually happened. :( I'm sorry this chapter has had that effect on you and everyone. I don't know why I didn't expect this reaction LOL. But it's not over yet, there is still more to their story.

      He does still care for her. His feelings and memories are coming back and he feels connected to her. They dated for a long time and he never really got over her as he said when she went back home that time. He signed the papers because she asked him to even if he really wasn't ready to. :(

      Marisol always seems to show up when Amari is already down.

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  5. ~ I am so confused...............& Speechless!

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  6. That was a tough choice for Marcus to make. I agree with others, that he porobably made that choice because it's what Amari said she wanted. She probably could have influenced his decision in the other direction if she wanted.

    And that was a tough choice for her, to give up the one man she really for loves for his own sake. But that is what love is about. No matter what, she still has Mulo in her life, and in her head, and Marisol out to make her miserable. This already had serious consequences for Marcus, and if he came back, that would all still be there.
    I feel bad for Amari, she really is on her own with this.

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    1. Yeah he didn't want to do it, she sees them as being over but he's at a different place with this all being 'new' to him. Her words and actions could have influenced him the other way and things aren't totally final right now.

      She feels trapped with this thing with Marisol and Mulo's obsession with her. She feels like him being with her has cost him enough so this is her way of making up for that. Mulo is very unpredictable so since she can't be sure he wouldn't do something more to Marcus she feels she's saving him in a way. Amari really needs a friend. :(

      We will see how Marcus feels about his actions next chapter.

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  7. Here is some hope... Amari has babies, and the last I checked the only stud she has been with recently is Marcus. So unless fertile Myrtle isn't so fertile anymore, I suspect Marcus is going to be getting a bit of a second chance and a whole lot of drama on the side.

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    1. yes Marcus was the last guy she's been with since having Finley. Ha yeah everyone seems to be waiting for her to get that familiar feeling of nausea. If she is pregnant, man that is gonna be a mess. He has to explain that to Florence, it won't be pretty.

      Guess we have to wait and see if feritle Myrtle (hahaha) is still fertile or not.

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  8. Yeah, it's bound to be Florence at the door. Bitch, go away.

    I can't BELIEVE he signed them!!! How could he DO that? He had to have only done it because he thinks that's what she really wants, and he loves her enough to give her what she really wants.
    MEN! STUPID NO MATTER THEIR LIFE STATE!!!!

    Yeah, not really that happy with this one. Dammit! I want him to come back and fight for her.
    Don't worry, I mean, I get it, but I'm so aggravated at all of them.

    Nice update. :)

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    1. hahaha you and Jean-Marie sending her away before you even know it's her.

      Yes I know. I wasn't prepared for the reactions to this chapter. I don't know what I was thinking not expecting the angry mob to come after me. LOL He did sign them because she insisted but we will see how he feels about it next chapter. LOL he's not stupid but he is trying to make things easier for her in some way. Although that doesn't really help matters so yeah...I guess kinda stupid LOL

      Aww no one was happy with this one. He was sorta trying to fight for her but she doesn't appear to want to fight for him. :( Plus he does have Florence to consider in all of this still.

      It's ok you aren't the only one aggravated with them. Hopefully the next chapters will help.

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    2. "MEN! STUPID NO MATTER THEIR LIFE STATE!!!!"

      Preach!

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    3. need a like button on these comments :P

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  9. :( Awww... now I feel sad. I wanted him to pick Amari, and I don't really care why he signed the papers because it just sucks, I mean I know she told him to just go be happy with Florence so he could have just been doing what she wanted, but still I wished he would have fought that and made his own choice. :( Or that she hadn't just told him to go be happy with Florence, but just to do what made him happy regardless of what that meant... perhaps he would have made a different choice, perhaps not.

    She who? Dun dun dun... Obviously not somebody Amari wants to see... doesn't sound good so far... I'll be anxious to find out who it is.

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    1. aww I know :( It was very sad that he signed them but there is still more in store for them so don't think it's over just yet. She did want him to be happy with Florence because she saw that he was before she came in and ruined things. Mulo is unpredictable so she's never sure what he might do and doesn't want Marcus harmed any more because of her.

      He might have made a different choice, but he still has Florence to consider. He is engaged to her and it's not fair to string her along while he figures out things.

      Yes dun dun dun....indeed. It really isn't anyone she wants to see right now.

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  10. Well, I don't think that is the last of him in her life though. They are both upset and hurt and disappointed I am sure. I am worried about who is at the door. Marisol? Florence?? That would be horrible. What if they get into a fight and Florence is knocked down and hurt? ugh

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    1. nope this isn't the end for them. They still have the kids to deal with so he will continue to be around. Signing the papers were just a formality really since he was considered dead the marriage was null and void any way. They are in two very different places right now on how they view their relationship so there is still more that needs to be said on that subject.

      Cat fight hahahahaha if that happened Amari would have a bit of an upper hand on Flo with her current life state. We'll see next chapter who is coming to ruin her day even more.

      woot you are all caught up now!!!!

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  11. Ok, I thought for sure I had posted a comment on this one!! Stupid wordpress messes with my mind sometimes. Anyway, I think even though Marcus signed the papers, he really didn't want to. I'm hoping she ends up with another little baby Marcus. Sure it would complicate things for him and her both, but hey that's what this is all about, complications!! I still see them together for awhile longer.

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    1. ha so just looked in my spam folder for comments and this was sitting here. I answered you on my thread but wanted to know it was blogger that ate it not wordpress.

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  13. Omg I know it's what she asked for but I didn't think he would really leave AND sign the divorce papers. I really want them to get back together :( and let me guess, Marisol paid her a visit? That lady has bad timing, it's never a good time to see her though.

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    1. yeah she wasn't expecting him to sign either. She really hoped he would continue to hold out. :( Things aren't over for them just yet, so there still might be hope.

      Nope never a good time for Marisol to come around.

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  14. Just because he signed the papers doesn't mean it is OVER. Those feelings are still going to be there, as well as their connection through their children. It's not like he can walk away and leave that life behind--he's not that sort of man. If she is pregnant that would indeed give them both a reason to fight for their relationship. I think if Florence knew that Amarai was pregnant, and that Marcus could be a father to his children, she would step aside and allow him to be happy. That is what love is, and I believe that both women do love him. Marcus is lucky to have two such women so in love with him--but then who could blame them. Whooo--still not over that shower scene!

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    1. you are right doesn't mean it's over just yet. He is getting back his feelings and memories and hers never left so this won't be as cut and dry as Amari is hoping. He would never walk away from his children, so he will be around which will also make things harder on Amari having to see him often.

      If she's pregnant, he's not going anywhere no matter what she says. LOL He was robbed of raising his other children, there is no way in hell he would not be there for every step of the process with this one. We would hope Florence would step aside, but he would have to admit he cheated on her by sleeping with Amari. That will be a hard pill to swallow and she may not want to walk away quietly.

      Marcus is a man worth fighting for!

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    2. Marcus worth fighting for? Understatement of the year!! How many men even exist that are that GOOD and that HOT? Seriously? LOL!!

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    3. ha, he has his flaws but you guys tend to over look them. LOL But overall he is a great guy, she needed someone to balance out Mulo.

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  15. Not sure how things will go from here. Even though the divorce papers are signed I see them together somehow in some way....edenzfury

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    1. Well that is how the majority is voting. Marcus was a loved character which is why I couldn't kill him to begin with. :)

      Thanks for reading.

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  16. You know, even though he's signed the papers it's not official until they've been handed in. Not really, anyway. I want them to be together, but Florence has that same right, too. He did build a life with her after all, we just happen to know Amari.

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    1. this is true! Amari has the papers now, so it's whether or not she turns them in. They have had a hard run of things, so it would be nice if they can make it work again. Florence doesn't have many people in her corner. LOL

      thanks for reading

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