Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Chapter 95-Another Life

I wanted to meet the kids but Amari wouldn’t allow it. She said it wasn’t fair to put them through what she’s dealing with especially the triplets. She briefly explained to me what she had been going through with them. Not only had she raised two somewhat rebellious twins, she was now faced with doing so with triplets. My heart went out to her with all the stuff she shouldered and managed to keep going. I finally saw things her way and agreed it was best that they not be involved right now. I had things I needed to sort out and until I made a decision on how to handle this I would stay away from my children. Even if it pained me to do so. Now as I headed back home, I struggled with what I would tell Florence. Having the wife I think she could handle since I obviously had no clue about any of this, but telling her I had children already when she wanted to be the one to give me that. That conversation was going to be harder. 

As I pulled into the drive, Florence came out to greet me. She jumped into my arms, showering me with kisses.

“Mi sei mancato.” (I’ve missed you.) She exclaimed holding on to me tightly.

It was almost as if she knew our upcoming conversation wasn’t going to be pleasant. I had already explained to her that I had in fact located the mystery woman but I didn’t want to talk about everything over the phone and being so far away. I know that didn’t help ease her fears but I thought that it was a conversation best done in person.

“Odio stare in questa grande casa vuota da solo.” (I hate being in this big empty house alone).

My arms tighten around her slender waist. Her smell, one that I have known for so long, now seemed strange. The kiss I shared with Amari flashed through my mind. It was brief, but it was enough to let me know she wasn’t some stranger like she wanted me to believe. I remembered the feel of her body pressed against mine, the sweet taste of her lips, all of it was very familiar and felt very right in that moment. I pulled free of Florence, reaching into the car to get my bag. I was here with one woman, but thinking of another. It was wrong and I felt guilty doing so.

“Hai fame?” (Are you hungry) She asked taking my hand and giving me a hopeful look as we walked towards the house.

“No, I’m fine.” I replied seeing the look of disappointment that flashed across her face.

“Sempre con l’inglese.” (Again with the English) She responded with a little pout.

I looked down and smiled at her expression. I loved her, that hadn’t changed. I couldn’t say that I loved Amari, all of that hadn't returned, but there was a draw there for me that was very strong. It wasn’t something I could just ignore and it made the choice I was faced with that much harder. Leaning down, I placed a loving kiss upon her full pouting lips.

“Vado a prendere una doccia veloce e poi vi dirò del mio viaggio.” (I’m going to grab a quick shower then I will tell you about my trip) I replied giving her a little wink before picking up my bag and heading upstairs.

I stood under the warm water trying to figure out what I was going to say. When I closed my eyes I saw the sadness in Amari’s that she tried to hide. It was frustrating to know I didn’t have the whole story, my whole story. Parts of my life were still a blank. She did tell me that my parents were still alive and that I had sisters. I wasn’t ready to face them yet since it would be hard to explain things I didn’t fully understand myself. She just kept saying I needed to stay in Italy, to enjoy my life here. She wasn’t sure on the legality of things but she would sign divorce papers if needed so that I could be in the clear to marry Florence. I tried to push for why but she would only say it was better this way. Better for me but refused to say why. There was something she was holding back, something that was major and I didn’t know how to get it out of her. I couldn’t make any decisions without the full story no matter how much she pushed me to do so. I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t even hear Florence enter and my surprise at her presence wasn’t missed on her. She hated that she could never sneak up on me so to feel me jump when she wrapped her arms around me was not a good sign for her. I could feel her anxiety and I hated that she was feeling that way.

“Dimmi domani.” (tell me tomorrow) She whispered against my back.

Amari’s POV

“So can I mom?”

“Huh? Can you what?”

Finley flashed me a look of annoyance when she realized I hadn’t been listening to her. The moment she stepped off the bus she started in talking a mile a minute about something that happened at school. Even if my mind hadn’t been preoccupied I would have had a hard time keeping up with her.

“Moomm I was telling you how awesome scouts sounded. I wanna join.”

“Are you sure you don’t want ballet or something like that?”

“Ew no!” She exclaimed scrunching up her nose in disgust. “Really mom, its like you don’t even know me.”

“I’m so sorry dear.” I replied laughing. “You’re right what was I thinking. I’ll be sure to get you signed up for scouts.”

She gave me a big hug then happily ran off into the house. My little tomboy, she would rather climb trees and go on deep sea missions instead of playing with dolls and pretending to be a princess. She was a special child, a complete free spirit. Adventurous and seemingly scared of nothing. 

As I went to start dinner my thoughts went to Marcus. His memories were still fragmented and I tried my best to undo the mess I caused. Then I remembered the way he looked at me when I was leaving. He knew me, he remembers bits and pieces of us mostly high school and college. He had that same look that I had, like he wanted to act on feelings but was holding back. And he was, because of her. Florence, his other life, the easier life. He hadn’t called since he left, and as much as I didn’t want to read anything into that, I couldn’t help but take that as a sign.

“Ow. Shit!” I screamed.

“Mom you ok?” Edson asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Yeah. I was careless and cut myself.” I replied going over to the sink to wash my finger. “Can you go get me a band aid please?”

“Yeah sure.” 

He returned a few minutes later handing me the bandage.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” He replied turning to leave. “Hey mom.”

“Yes.” I replied throwing out the contaminated food and getting fresh ingredients from the fridge.

He looked as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what.

“Nothing. How long till dinner?”

“Bout half an hour.”


“Edson. Is there anything you want to talk about?” I asked hopeful that maybe one of them was going to open up to me. 

"No. I'm gonna go finish my homework."

Things hadn’t progressed much passed the minor thaw they had when I first returned from Italy. I tried to talk to them, find ways to connect but it was like they didn’t want to. They were instead just serving their time until they could move out. I didn’t want to say I was giving up on having a better relationship, but there was only so much I could do before simply accepting what I have. 

After dinner the kids cleaned the kitchen. Elphie read Finley a bedtime story, they each took turns with that honor. With them all settled in for the night I took a quiet moment to myself outside.

“Wishing upon a star Love?”

“Why are you here?”

“Because you need me here.”

“Really? I wasn’t aware of that.”

Mulo walked over and sat on the other chaise. We sat there quietly staring off into the night. 

He was waiting on me to say what he already knew I was feeling but I wasn’t sure I was ready to say the words out loud.

“I’m tired Mulo.”

“I know Love but you can’t give up yet.”

“Why because I still have to produce ninety one children? I don’t see that happening. I have nine children and only one of them hasn’t hated me at some point. It’s still too early to tell which way Finley will go.” I said with a heavy sigh.

“You have raised all of them on your own. Through the ups and the downs and although it hasn’t been easy they have all turned out great in the end.”

"Is that your version of a pep talk?" 

He smiled and shrugged slightly.

“Oh Mulo.” I said sitting up to look at him. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“You make it sound like a punishment.” He replied sitting up so that we now faced each other. 

"Well it depends on the day."

"I suppose that's fair."

I had loved him at one time and if I really wanted to be honest with myself, a small part of me still did and probably always would. However it would never be what it was before. I was different now, I had changed, grown, and been through more than any person should have to. Most of it related directly and indirectly to him. Yet sadly he was the constant in my life. For better or worse, he was there.

“I was happy with him.”

“I know.”

“You destroyed my family; you took that away from me. You robbed my kids of a relationship with their father.”

“I did.”

“Now he has her. A happy non complicated life. He can have a relationship with the kids without having one with me. I’ve lost him.”

“Well considering their history, although brief, you can’t expect it would be easy to simply walk away from her. He is after all a good man. Which is why you loved him.”

Taking a steady breath I stood glancing up at the stars. They sparkled so brightly against the dark sky. I fondly recalled the nights when Marcus and I were dating. We would just spend time at the park watching the stars and planning our perfect future. Life was good and uncomplicated then. And maybe it could have still been that way had I never left home, but then I wouldn’t have my kids. So which life would I chose if I could? That was a question I would never answer because the answer didn’t matter.

“Why can’t you be a good man?”

“I’m not sure I know how.”

“You only have to try Mulo.” I said quietly before turning and heading into the house. I left him sitting there but as I walked away I could have sworn he was feeling something that almost mimicked shame.


  1. I don't know if it's my mood, but this chapter made me cry! I feel so bad for Marcus. He loves Florence, but he's drawn to Amari too! He'll have a much less complicated life with Florence, but is that really the best way for him? Even though there were lots of bad times, he was also happy with Amari.

    She was happy with him too, but now she's so sad!

    Mulo realizes what he's done, and I believe that he cares about Amari. I think his honest answer that he doesn't know how to be a good man is true. He doesn't know the right way to show her that he loves her. His love is too selfish.

    Really good, Jaz!

    1. aww this made you cry. :( Yeah he is in a tough spot and there is no easy answer to it. Mulo really did a number on them. He was better off keeping quiet but with that bond they share it might have gotten harder to hide it from her. :(

      He was happy with Amari and stayed with her the first time knowing everything, but look at what it cost him. :( Hard to say if he would choose her again.

      Mulo does know what he has done is wrong. He messed up the lives of Amari and her children by doing this. He was very selfish in his actions and didn't fully think through the consequences of his actions.

  2. Wow she seems to have gotten to Mulo there, just a little,.I wonder what he'll do with that?
    And poor Marcus, that's such a tough decision to deal with.
    I'm also curious about whatever Edson was going to say the didn't. It's so sad that Amari's relationships with her kids has been so bad. I hope that Finley at least turns out better for her.

    1. Yeah he is seeing just how much he's hurt her over time. :( She puts up with him, but he can feel just how much sadness and pain she carries around on a daily basis. Maybe it will be enough to make him want to be a good man but who knows.

      They can all tell something is bothering her. At some point they are concerned since they do care about her. And Mulo has been telling them to treat her better. It is sad that she has had the struggle with the relationships with her children. :( The situation they grow up in is hard and it takes its toll on her which affects the kids. Hopefully Finley will be good.

  3. Oh man, Florence. She can feel something is wrong, and she has no idea what or how to stop it. Their talk is inevitable now.

    I'm with Mulo, I don't think he knows how to be a good man, and the the company he keeps doesn't make it easy for him.

    1. Yeah she knows something is up and it can't be good. Anytime someone says they feel they should talk in person, its never a sign of good things.

      At least he's honest in knowing what he can and can not do. He tries in his own way, but it normally does more harm than good.

  4. Mulo felt shame? What?? It's sad what Amari has gone through and I can only wonder what lies ahead for Florence. Still I can't seem to care about her at all. She knows something is off with Marcus and is afraid what that might mean for their relationship and she should. He has a wife and family and I'm a one sided person. I want Amari to have her husband back and for Florence to take a hike (sorry chick but I just don't know you).

    Marcus has a tough decision on his hands and he's smart for not letting Amari push him into one he might later regret without knowing the whole story. She needs to come clean, and soon. Otherwise I sense more unexpected visits from the Italian Stallion and some that will be harder and harder to explain to her kids!

    1. Yes he felt something she thought was shame. He knows he's made a huge mess of things and she's left to clean it up. She still has to tell her children about Marcus and that won't be an easy conversation.

      Yeah Florence thinks they may be in trouble. She can feel it and sadly she's helpless to stop it. :( Poor woman doesn't seem to have many fans but this sucks for her just as much as everyone else.

      Yes he does but Amari is trying to make it easier on him. She knows he wants and needs answers but considering how messed up his life is because of her, she feels being as far away as possible is the safer bet for him. He's been robbed of a life and time with his children all because she loved him and Mulo couldn't handle that. She holds a lot of guilt over that fact. :( The Italian Stallion, hahaha, yeah he won't go quietly into the night like she hopes.

  5. Oh I feel so bad for Amari, Florence and Marcus! The outcome for Florence doesn't look good at all and deep down she knows it. After kissing him when he came back she had to know Marcus is not the same man she fell in love with.

    Amari and Marcus will have so much emotional baggage to go through if and when they get back together, especially when the triplets find out their father is still alive. Hopefully the amazing makeup sex they will have(Please Jazen please!) will give them the strength to pull through all the damage the vamps have done to their lives.

    1. Yeah I feel bad for them too. Mulo has really messed with a lot of lives this time. :( Poor Florence knows she's fighting a losing battle. This is a mess and I really don't know what the outcome will be yet. (crazy I know but it's true.)

      They have a lot to shift through and the trips, the poor trips who have already dealt with a lot. Man learning their father is alive and the man that they think of as dad had something to do with it. It's not going to be pretty. :( HAHAHAHA are you begging for Marcus and Amari sex? Like in on screen full detail sex? This story is normally PG-13 but you aren't the only one to ask. I will see what I can work out for you guys. :D

    2. Well to keep the story pg-13 I will settle for the old school love scene. The one that has the couple kissing passionately before tumbling into bed as a fireplace comes into view and then fades to black. Then next morning the two wake up in bed under the blankets with very bare shoulders and it's obvious what was happening when everything went black.

    3. yeah that's normally how things go with this story but a few of my loyal (and pervy) Marcus fans want the full thing. It would be an extra thing (if it happens) like the Death of David chapter.

  6. Wow... so Mulo might actually be feeling something for what he's put Amari through? That's slightly amazing, I do believe he doesn't know how to be a good man, so at least he admits it, LOL. Maybe that can change, not that I'll expect it. It was nice to go a chapter without wanting to stake him though...

    I feel really bad for Florence, we really don't know much about her, but she seems nice enough, and this is going to suck so much for her too. Trying to put off what's coming, because she seems to know something is, isn't going to make it better. Of course I feel bad for Amari and Marcus too, it's just a really big mess... but I do love watching it unfold.

    1. Well it's about freaking time he felt something for all the crap he's done to her. This time he's made a huge huge huge mess of so many lives with his selfish way of thinking. Mulo knows his faults and his limits. Amari puts up with him, but thanks to that bond he knows first hand how she truly feels a lot of the time. Something like that is very hard to ignore. Hahaha glad you didn't want to stake him this time. :P

      Yeah she is stuck in a bad place. She had no way of controlling what will happen and she has the odds stacked against her since she is unable to carry to term and now he has kids. :( No one really comes out on the winning end of this.

  7. I caught up. Poor Amari. It would've been easier to have Marcus be dead than this. Mulo almost seems to care that he hurt her. Almost like he regrets what happened to Marcus and he didn't turn him so I wonder what's going on in his head. lol. Not only that but what on earth is she going to do now with the triplets? They already are a mess so what will telling them about Marcus do?

    1. awesome on catching up. Well Mulo did try to warn her about going after him. Knowing he was alive and well should have been enough, and now she's wishing she had listened to him. :(

      He does have some regrets now that he is seeing the full effects of what he has done. This experience has been a real eye opener for him. The triplets, yeah they are a handful on a good day. This is going to be hard and I see there being some anger. :( This will get worse before it gets better.

  8. Jazen--you didn't put that shower scene in there for me did you! Yowza!! Oh, my--he's so very special!

    And...hope for Mulo! My dreams are all coming true!!!

    1. :D there are a few Marcus fans that appreciated that booty shot. :P I aim to please where I can.

      Aww you think there is hope for Mulo. It's possible. I like to think there is room for change in a person.

  9. Oh slap on Mulo. haha! ^_^
    Maybe he will think more clearly, or with consideration for others. (doubt it)
    I feel badly for Marcus, Florence, and Amari.

    1. I think this connection with Amari has given him new insight into his actions. There might be a little hope for him, we will see how it goes.

      Yeah they all have to deal with the fall out of what Mulo did. And the kids :(

  10. I really go back and forth with Mulo. I hate him and then he does something nice and I want to like him again. He knows how to play with people's emotions lol. Poor Amari this isn't easy on her at all. I feel bad for Florence too, but she still has to go. Amari and Marcus belong together.

    1. So does Amari. He has done some terrible things to her, but he's also the one person that she knows will be there should she need him. It's a hard place for her to be.

      Amari never has it easy. :( I really do need to give her a happy ending after what she's been through.

      hahaha poor Florence gets no love. She has too many people wanting Marcus back with Amari.

  11. I feel for amari as i said before and i really do feel for Marcus. I still think her going to him was a bad idea, when there is 3 it's never good, someone always gets hurt=/.

    But most of all(yesh, I know people hate me for loving Mulo), I feel for Mulo. Despite how messed up pretty much everything he has done has been and how much shit he has caused, I believe with all my heart everything done has been done out of love for her.....edenz~

    1. She's had it rough and she just wanted back that little bit of happiness. Closure really since he was ripped from her like that. Marcus is in a bad place now having all of this to deal with. She probably shouldn't have gone looking for him, but he did have children. Didn't he have a right to learn about them?

      Awww someone has to love Mulo. He's messed up A LOT but he does love Amari in his own way.

      Thanks for reading.

  12. This was a really good chapter, Jazen! Nice to see Mulo has a conscience, or at least a bit of one.

    1. Thanks. He does have one that pops out every once in a while.

      Thanks for reading.