Saturday, November 26, 2011

Chapter 65-Desperate Measures



I was still getting sick and Marcus was getting more concerned.  I refused to talk to him even though he kept trying.  I was angry that he wanted to just give up and leave us.  Angry that he waited so long to tell me.  He said I was being unreasonable and instead of spending all the time we could loving each other, it was spent fighting or not talking.  I thought telling me was hard, but when he told the boys I saw him struggling not to break down in front of them.  His voice cracked on several occasions and he would have to pause before continuing.

I tried to sit there and show my support, but I couldn't it hurt too much.  When he told them they would have to be strong and take care of me, I lost it.
"They wouldn't have to be strong if you would just quit being so stubborn!" I screamed at him.
"Amari we've discussed it and you need to..."
"I need to what Marcus?  Accept that you are choosing to die and leave us?  I refuse to do that, I won't do that!"
"Amari, please."  Marcus said pleading with me to calm down.

"No!  You have an option but you won't take it.  Why?  Why are you choosing this?"
"Stop it now!"  His voice carried a tone of authority that he'd never used with me before.  I was stunned and then realized the boys were still sitting there.  Tears in their eyes and totally scared from seeing us fight.  Without saying another word, I got up from the table grabbed my keys and left.
"Daddy, mommy was really mad at you."
"Yes Dunham I know she is.  She's just having a hard time right now."
"But she said you are choosing to leave us.  Why did you choose to get cancer?"  I could only smile at the comment.  They were trying to understand and Amari's outburst didn't help.
"Dax I didn't choose to get cancer.  Your mom and I are just disagreeing on the best course of action to keep me around longer."
"Don't you want to stay with us?"
"Of course I do buddy, but somethings just aren't that simple."

***

I shouldn't have had that outburst.  This was going to be hard enough on the boys without their mom going crazy and yelling at their father.  I just can't believe he wouldn't even consider becoming a vampire.  Sure there were some drawbacks, but the benefit of seeing his children grow up should outweigh all the negatives.  I needed to talk to someone that could help him see reason.  I knocked on the door and was greeted by Nina.
"Hey mom, how are you doing?" she said giving me a hug.
"I wish I could say great,but that's not the case.  Is Aric home?"  She gave me a concerned look.
"Yes he's upstairs."

But as she spoke he came walking down the stairs.  He always did have great timing.  He gave me a hug and held my hand as we walked into the living room.
I broke down into tears and my son held me while I cried on his shoulder.  Not only was I a terrible wife, but I was a failure as a mother.  Aric has had to comfort me more times than I can remember.
"I can't force him into this life mom." He spoke softly and I looked up at him in shock.
"I quit fighting it after everything happened with CeCe but I only do it when I sense distress such as now."

I sat up and wiped my face.  He still felt bad for not knowing sooner what was going on with her but then again we all felt a bit of guilt over what she went through.
"I changed TK in the heat of the moment and although it worked out in the end, I won't do it again.  It took Nina months of begging and pleading before I gave in to her and she was a willing participant."
"But I can't just let him die.  Your brothers need him, I need him.  It's my fault he's giving up."
"You're not letting him die, he's dying."
"But I have not been fair to him.  I can't let him give up on life because I hurt him."  I started crying again.
"It's his choice mom, you can't force him to become a vampire."  I tried not to think about how Bynni and TK weren't given that choice.  I already knew his feelings about his actions that day and I can't blame him for what his dad did, but the thoughts were there and he knew.
"I'm sorry son."
"It's understandable mom."
Aric, always so calm and reserved.  I look at him and think of all that I did right in raising at least one of my children since I seem to be failing the rest of them.  How could I possibly have 95 more of them?  It would be so unfair to inflict any more harm on innocent bystanders.  My phone was buzzing again.  I didn't need to look at it to know it was Marcus calling again. 
"I should go.  I am sorry I asked you to do that."
He smiled at me.  "It's ok mom.  I know you have a lot to deal with right now."

I gave him a tight hug.
"One day you won't have to take care of me." I said rubbing my hand on his cheek.
"I don't mind."  He walked me to the door and I said bye to Nina who was perfecting her sculpting skills.
"Mom, maybe if you told him, he'd change his mind."

"Told him what?"
"About the babies."  I gave him a curious stare and he just laughed.
"You are giving off more than one heartbeat."  Of course, I always seemed to end up pregnant at the most inopportune times.

***

When I got home the boys were in the backyard playing with Fred and Wilma.  Marcus was napping on the couch.  Seeing him instantly brought tears to my eyes, on top of everything now I had to deal with uncontrollable hormones.  I attempted to walk pass without waking him but I guess he wasn't really sleeping because as soon as I shut the door he sat up.
"I've been calling you."
"I know."
"Where did you go?"
"To see Aric.  I was hoping he would..." I didn't need to finish when I saw the anger flash in his eyes.
"That again?  I thought we settled that already." He spoke softly and I knew he was trying not to raise his voice.

"No Marcus, you just refuse to listen to reason. But it's different now."
"No it's not.  I won't do it, even if it's not done by Marisol."
"But..."
"No buts Amari, just drop it.  I don't want to spend the time I have left fighting with you. So I'm begging you, please just drop it."  Marcus got up and walked into the kitchen.  I sat there thinking about what Aric said.  He wasn't willing to stay for the children that were already here, my being pregnant wasn't going to change that either.  Aric wouldn't do it, but I knew of one other option.  I would rather Marcus spend eternity angry at me than stand by and watch him die.


*****Yes so I know it's against "the rules" for a dad to father more than one pregnancy but since it's my story I decided to bend them a little.  I thought about having Amari get drunk and cheat on poor Marcus but since I am already putting him through enough I opted to have the next babies by him instead. Yes they will count towards my 100 because this story has taken on it's own life and since I never imagined she'd get married it only seemed fitting for her to be pregnant one more time by him. :)

18 comments:

  1. Yay, she's pregnant again! I just had to yay at that.

    Awesome.

    Too bad Marcus won't be around to watch them grow up if he has his way.

    I understand Amari's grief is translating into anger and a little irrationality too, but I really think Marcus is right, they should be spending the few months he has left loving each other and making memories with their kids.

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  2. Val--With all the extra "love" he was giving her when they first got married it was bound to happen LOL.

    She is not taking it well at all which is causing her to act out. She does need to just enjoy her time with him, but she's not seeing it that way.

    She still has to tell him she's pregnant.

    Thanks for reading.

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  3. I'm glad that you did it this way Jazen! It would have been too much for him if she had gotten pregnant another way.

    I know she thinks that she is doing the right thing by forcing him to change, but she isn't. I hope she doesn't go through with it. He has the right to decide for himself, and he already has.

    Even though its painful, Amari needs to accept his decision and make his remaining time as happy as possible. I really feel sorry for her. She blames herself for his sickness too!

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  4. Daisy---I just couldn't cause Marcus any more pain :(.

    She's not thinking clearly and in the next chapter you will see the lengths she will go to in order to keep him alive. She does love him and the guilt of how she cheated him is hitting her hard. She wants more time to make it right, and that is selfish on her part. She knows she didn't cause the cancer but she does think he's given up because of what she's done to him.

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  5. Ah man what in the hell is she planning? I can understand her anger and frustration but she can't really believe Marcus would want to live as a creature for the rest of his life.

    She really needs to stop and consider what she's about to make happen. He'd have to survive on blood, have an unquenchable thirst and forever is a mighty long time to hate someone and I can see him being VERY angry with this!

    I'm glad it's baby time again :D I hope she tells him and just see what his reaction is. It would be very sad for him to die before seeing this child's birth. Maybe telling him he'd try something to extend his time so he can at least do that! Worth a shot Amari!!! Just tell him!

    Great update but now I am very worried!

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  6. DJ--she is not thinking like a rational person right now. She has had a lot go on in her life and this is breaking her.

    She's not listening to him and is hell bent on getting her way. Believe me if she keeps pushing he will be extremely angry.

    It is baby time. She should have told him, it might make a difference in his thinking. He's continuing with his treatments but for her that's not good enough. She didn't realize how much she loves and needs him until she was faced with losing him.

    You should be worried...irrational people do irrational things...

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  7. I can certainly understand where Amari is coming from and I really feel bad for her and the kids. He kept going until she married him and now he's just giving up on them; his family. I can't imagine the pain he may be experiencing with his illness so I won't be too hard on him but would becoming a vampire really be all that bad? If he is concerned about his boys growing old and dying, I'm sure there is something that could be done about that. No matter what, Mulo will always come to Amari's rescue and if she asked him to turn her boys, he'd do it.

    I wonder if he'd change his mind if he knew he was going to be a father again. I hope she tells him soon!

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  8. Qui--He did keep going until she said yes and now he's willing to leave them. Amari feels the same way, being a vamp is a better option than dying and not being there for his kids. I'm sure that the boys could be turned as well if they wanted.

    She didn't tell him yet because she feels like the two they already have wasn't enough to get him to change his mind, so she doesn't think kids would be a motivation.

    She will let him know eventually.

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  9. ~ She had better tell him soon, as there is not much time with his sickness sapping the life out of him,she is arguing with him when it could be their last days together,I understand how emotional she is & the extra hormones will not be helping here!(I had a feeling with all the Vomiting she was having a baby again,but multiplied,again, Marcus must be fertile!)
    ~ I also know where Marcus is coming from,if he lives forever he wants to remember who he loves & who he is,not Marisol's way,he would want to know his children,not forget them!
    ~ I do not like the sound of what she is planing,forever is a long time to hate some one,& I think he would, as he has told her,NO!
    ~ I know she is not thinking straight,but,she could destroy what she is trying to save!
    ~ So emotional,more please!(",)

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  10. Oh Amari don't be making decisions on your husbands behalf. I do feel bad for her though, it isn't easy to watch someone you care about die, most people I think would do anything they could to change it... wether it's really what is best or not. I'd hate for Marcus to be mad at her forever though, it's a very long time.

    Yay for more babies though!

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  11. @Karima--she will tell him soon. She shouldn't be arguing with him at this point but she won't accept he's dying. She's most upset that he won't consider being turned at all. She does have a few vamps to choose from but he just doesn't want to live forever at all.

    Next chapter will reveal what she is planning to do.

    Thanks for reading.

    @Dreamerz--She has always tried to make decisions for his best interest. She hasn't learned yet that it doesn't work out well.

    Forever is a long time, but she's willing to risk it in order to save his life.

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  12. Aw i think its nice that she's pregnant by Marcus again, especially with the current situation :(

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  13. Aww, Amari's pregnant!!! :) One step closer to 100!

    I don't want Marcus to die!!!!!!!! WAAHHHH!!!

    ~Catlover800 aka Calista Smith

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  14. Ahhh! The plot thickens...I kind of figured Amari would end up being pregnant and it's actually not against the rules...they say there should be different fathers unless it goes along with the storyline...this totally does.
    But need I say this...Amari has the worst reputation with telling people she's pregnant...they never have the reactions she thinks they will...so why doesn't she just tell him? LOL Just noticed that...
    Anyway...phenomenal job as usual!

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  15. Cassie LOL she is bad about saying those little words isn't she. Don't worry she won't wait long before she tells him besides they live together so eventually he would notice.

    Thanks for making me feel better about the rules. :)

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  16. What a mess. More babies, well its a baby challenge! Poor Marcus he is right, they should be loving each other not fighting. Going to the next chapter!

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  17. I didn't realise it was against the rules to have more than one pregnancy by the same father, I guess Jamie failed on that account as well :P I'll probably end up breaking that rule a couple more times, too :P

    I feel so bad for their little family, always at the centre of bad things happening :/

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    1. LOL I think somewhere it's written that each pregnancy was supposed to be a different father, but yeah, I'm a rebel! I don't think it really matters all that much, as long as you get the 100. LOL

      They are always having something happen. :(

      thanks for reading

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