Chapter 65-Desperate Measures

I was still getting sick and Marcus was getting more concerned.  I refused to talk to him even though he kept trying.  I was angry that he wanted to just give up and leave us.  Angry that he waited so long to tell me.  He said I was being unreasonable and instead of spending all the time we could loving each other, it was spent fighting or not talking.  I thought telling me was hard, but when he told the boys I saw him struggling not to break down in front of them.  His voice cracked on several occasions and he would have to pause before continuing.

I tried to sit there and show my support, but I couldn't it hurt too much.  When he told them they would have to be strong and take care of me, I lost it.
"They wouldn't have to be strong if you would just quit being so stubborn!" I screamed at him.
"Amari we've discussed it and you need to..."
"I need to what Marcus?  Accept that you are choosing to die and leave us?  I refuse to do that, I won't do that!"
"Amari, please."  Marcus said pleading with me to calm down.

"No!  You have an option but you won't take it.  Why?  Why are you choosing this?"
"Stop it now!"  His voice carried a tone of authority that he'd never used with me before.  I was stunned and then realized the boys were still sitting there.  Tears in their eyes and totally scared from seeing us fight.  Without saying another word, I got up from the table grabbed my keys and left.
"Daddy, mommy was really mad at you."
"Yes Dunham I know she is.  She's just having a hard time right now."
"But she said you are choosing to leave us.  Why did you choose to get cancer?"  I could only smile at the comment.  They were trying to understand and Amari's outburst didn't help.
"Dax I didn't choose to get cancer.  Your mom and I are just disagreeing on the best course of action to keep me around longer."
"Don't you want to stay with us?"
"Of course I do buddy, but somethings just aren't that simple."

***

I shouldn't have had that outburst.  This was going to be hard enough on the boys without their mom going crazy and yelling at their father.  I just can't believe he wouldn't even consider becoming a vampire.  Sure there were some drawbacks, but the benefit of seeing his children grow up should outweigh all the negatives.  I needed to talk to someone that could help him see reason.  I knocked on the door and was greeted by Nina.
"Hey mom, how are you doing?" she said giving me a hug.
"I wish I could say great,but that's not the case.  Is Aric home?"  She gave me a concerned look.
"Yes he's upstairs."

But as she spoke he came walking down the stairs.  He always did have great timing.  He gave me a hug and held my hand as we walked into the living room.
I broke down into tears and my son held me while I cried on his shoulder.  Not only was I a terrible wife, but I was a failure as a mother.  Aric has had to comfort me more times than I can remember.
"I can't force him into this life mom." He spoke softly and I looked up at him in shock.
"I quit fighting it after everything happened with CeCe but I only do it when I sense distress such as now."

I sat up and wiped my face.  He still felt bad for not knowing sooner what was going on with her but then again we all felt a bit of guilt over what she went through.
"I changed TK in the heat of the moment and although it worked out in the end, I won't do it again.  It took Nina months of begging and pleading before I gave in to her and she was a willing participant."
"But I can't just let him die.  Your brothers need him, I need him.  It's my fault he's giving up."
"You're not letting him die, he's dying."
"But I have not been fair to him.  I can't let him give up on life because I hurt him."  I started crying again.
"It's his choice mom, you can't force him to become a vampire."  I tried not to think about how Bynni and TK weren't given that choice.  I already knew his feelings about his actions that day and I can't blame him for what his dad did, but the thoughts were there and he knew.
"I'm sorry son."
"It's understandable mom."
Aric, always so calm and reserved.  I look at him and think of all that I did right in raising at least one of my children since I seem to be failing the rest of them.  How could I possibly have 95 more of them?  It would be so unfair to inflict any more harm on innocent bystanders.  My phone was buzzing again.  I didn't need to look at it to know it was Marcus calling again. 
"I should go.  I am sorry I asked you to do that."
He smiled at me.  "It's ok mom.  I know you have a lot to deal with right now."

I gave him a tight hug.
"One day you won't have to take care of me." I said rubbing my hand on his cheek.
"I don't mind."  He walked me to the door and I said bye to Nina who was perfecting her sculpting skills.
"Mom, maybe if you told him, he'd change his mind."

"Told him what?"
"About the babies."  I gave him a curious stare and he just laughed.
"You are giving off more than one heartbeat."  Of course, I always seemed to end up pregnant at the most inopportune times.

***

When I got home the boys were in the backyard playing with Fred and Wilma.  Marcus was napping on the couch.  Seeing him instantly brought tears to my eyes, on top of everything now I had to deal with uncontrollable hormones.  I attempted to walk pass without waking him but I guess he wasn't really sleeping because as soon as I shut the door he sat up.
"I've been calling you."
"I know."
"Where did you go?"
"To see Aric.  I was hoping he would..." I didn't need to finish when I saw the anger flash in his eyes.
"That again?  I thought we settled that already." He spoke softly and I knew he was trying not to raise his voice.

"No Marcus, you just refuse to listen to reason. But it's different now."
"No it's not.  I won't do it, even if it's not done by Marisol."
"But..."
"No buts Amari, just drop it.  I don't want to spend the time I have left fighting with you. So I'm begging you, please just drop it."  Marcus got up and walked into the kitchen.  I sat there thinking about what Aric said.  He wasn't willing to stay for the children that were already here, my being pregnant wasn't going to change that either.  Aric wouldn't do it, but I knew of one other option.  I would rather Marcus spend eternity angry at me than stand by and watch him die.


*****Yes so I know it's against "the rules" for a dad to father more than one pregnancy but since it's my story I decided to bend them a little.  I thought about having Amari get drunk and cheat on poor Marcus but since I am already putting him through enough I opted to have the next babies by him instead. Yes they will count towards my 100 because this story has taken on it's own life and since I never imagined she'd get married it only seemed fitting for her to be pregnant one more time by him. :)