Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Chapter 127-One Day At a Time

“So Mom did you go bankrupt or something?” Dax asked as he pulled the hand truck loaded with boxes into the house.

Dunham and Aric followed behind him carrying a few more. The girls were all working on setting up the cribs since the nursery was the first room I wanted put together.

“No, sweetie. Why?”

“Because I’m pretty sure you could afford movers instead of breaking child labor laws by making us do all the heavy lifting,” he answered while dramatically wiping sweat from his brow. His siblings all laughed before agreeing.

“Well, since I have thirteen children, nine of which are eighteen or over, I see no reason why I should spend money when I have free labor,” I replied giving him a kiss on the cheek before shoving him out the door to get more boxes.

I had planned on hiring movers, but Elton and Edson had offered to help and that snowballed in having all the kids helping out. Finley had gone with Marcus to help him with the quads while I got things settled here. Since our last fight, Marcus and I barely spoke. We managed to be civil for Finley’s graduation festivities. We were both supposed to go with her to find her an apartment in Bridgeport, that trip was coming up in a week and I’d tried to back out of it, but Finley was insistent on the fact she wanted both of our inputs. Marcus and I had been separated for nearly two months now and it still hurt like hell when he’d come to pick up or drop off the babies. An entire weekend with him was going to be a struggle, but I was going to do it make Finley happy.

“Hey Mom,” Bynni called out. “Do you want the cribs arranged any special way?”

I smiled when I saw her walk out to the hall. My one child that swore off children was expecting her first child. TK had moved from the performing side of things into producing so he didn’t travel as much. I remember laughing when she told me she hoped she didn’t end up with a kid like her. They’d just found out the baby was a boy, and she was relieved. I didn’t have it in my heart to tell her boys could be just as troublesome. I’d let her find that out on her own.

“No, not really. I guess two on one wall, two on the other, and the changing table against the back,” I answered, walking towards her.

Ignoring her shirt, I ran my hand across her expanding belly. I missed my babies and was eager to get things situated so they could come home. Work had already been done in their room, but there was more to do in the rest of the house and I didn’t want them here while that went on. It would be noisy and messy so Marcus was keeping them until all the redecorating was completed.

The week on, week off agreement we had was chosen to try and minimize impact on their lives but they’d been cranky and not sleeping well so I feared it was doing more harm than good. There’d been a few times I thought about bringing up a possible change in our arrangement, but I held back. I decided to just wait until I’d gotten moved and settled then we could discuss it.

The rest of the boxes were unloaded and stacked in the appropriate rooms. My furniture was being delivered tomorrow. I’d left everything at the other house. The new buyers had wanted some of the pieces and the rest was donated. I was starting over. Again. I tried to look at this as the new beginning this move was supposed to be when I first left Riverview. I hoped if I told myself that enough times, I’d start to believe it.

Once everything was unloaded, the kids were all chatting and hanging out. I suspected they hung around because they were all worried about me. None of them mentioned what was going on with me and Marcus, it was that thing no one wanted to bring up. Their lively conversation and laughter drifted into my room. Things hadn’t always been easy, but they’d all turned out to be amazing people and I was proud of each of them.

“What’s next?”

I turned to see Elphie standing in the doorway. “What do you mean?”

“For you. What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” I replied with a shrug. “Focus on being a mom. Harass my adult children about visiting and calling more. Snoop into their love lives, bugging them for grandchildren. That sort of thing. Speaking of, what happened with you and Richard?”

Elphie just started shaking her head and laughing. “So basically you have too much time on your hands.”

“When your sisters and brother aren’t here, yeah, lots of time on my hands to focus on the rest of you. Aren’t you excited?”

“Nooot really,” she replied rolling her eyes before hugging me. “Seriously Mom, are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, each day gets a little better.”

“So you two…”

“Is a topic I don’t really want to talk about.”

“What topic?” Elton asked walking in. “Are you trying to not hurt her feelings by naming me as the favorite child?” he asked me while playfully punching his sister in the arm.

“In your dreams Dork!” she said punching him back.
“You are both wrong,” Aric commented joining in on the conversation. “As first born that makes me the favorite by default.”

A full blown debate ensued and they attempted to drag me into it for confirmation. I gave the best and true answer declaring them all my favorites which of course was met with statements that I was trying to simply spare the feelings of those not favored. It was close to midnight before they all left.

The next day I worked on unpacking some of the boxes for the kitchen while the crews I’d hired to remove the ugly wallpaper were hard at work in Finley’s room as well as the master bedroom. Hearing a car pull up, I glanced out the window and smiled when I saw Carter.

“This is a surprise,” I said, hugging him tightly.

“Sorry for not calling. Vicki is out shopping with her mom, so I figured I’d stop by before heading home.”

“No worries, I could use a break,” I replied, shutting the door behind him. “No furniture yet, but I have a few folding chairs I can grab. You thirsty?”

I headed into the kitchen to grab drinks while Carter set out the chairs and pushed a stack of boxes closer to act as a table.

“So how is Vicki?”

“She’s doing good. Not sick at all this time around unlike last time.”

I gave Carter a warm smile as I handed him his drink. I was happy for him and Vicki. There was a time when I’d thought our friendship would have been ruined. While I was happy that we were able to repair things, it still saddened me that it was Jonas’ death that brought us back to this point.

“What?” I asked when I noticed him staring.

He shrugged. “Nothing…just seeing you with,” he stopped and pointed at my drink. “Guess it still takes some getting used to.”

“Oh sorry, if it makes you uncomfortable…”

“No, it’s fine. I guess with everything that went on, I hadn’t fully processed you being different.”

“Well, if I’d had a choice in the matter, I don’t think I would have chosen this.”

“Why not?”

I started to answer, but then shook my head. “I’m not unloading all my issues on you. So are you and Vicki going to find out what you’re having this time?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I know what you’re doing,” he replied as he sat his drink down. “But no, Vicki wants it to be a surprise.”

“Well I have you guys covered with clothes one way or another. A lot of them still have tags because they are outgrowing them so damn fast. They are growing too fast,” I added with a heavy sigh. “Before I know it, they will be walking and talking then leaving me to move across country like Finley.”

Carter’s rich laughter filled the room. “I think they have a few years before they will even consider college and they may not move. But I do know how you feel; I’m going to miss her too.”

“It’s strange, you know. I mean clearly I’ve done this leaving the nest thing a few times, but with her, after everything she’s been through, I don’t want her to go. But…I can’t keep her from following her dreams, so whether I like it or not, next week we’re taking her apartment hunting.”

Carter leaned forward to take my hand. “I understand, but just remember you’ve raised her well. She’s an amazing young lady and Jonas would be proud of the job you’ve done with her.”

“Thanks Carter. You always know how to say the right things to make me feel better.”

“I do have great a bedside manner. It’s what makes me so good at my job.”

“You being a kick ass doctor is what makes you good at your job.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he replied a laugh. “So…you said we, who is the we exactly?”


He gave me a ‘don’t play dumb’ look and I got up, picking up our empty containers and carrying them to the kitchen. I threw away my empty carton then rinsed out Carter’s glass to buy myself some time.

“You know who the other party is, Finley insists on us both going for some reason.”

“Maybe because you two are her parents,” he replied, walking over to the peninsula. “And I take it from your reaction and avoidance of the subject, things aren’t heading towards a reconciliation.”

I gave a short laugh, “Not even close. We can’t be in the same room without every conversation heading towards an argument. I have no idea how we are going to spend an entire weekend together.”

Carter walked over and hugged me. It was nice to have someone care without any other expectations. The kids cared, I knew they did, but it was different. Even though they were adults, every time I looked at them I felt guilty for not being able to give them that ‘complete’ family. I’d made so many mistakes and it always seemed they paid the price. I’d deluded myself into thinking things would be different this time around and that my youngest children wouldn’t be collateral damage.

“You’ll get through it because you’re a great mother and you know how much this weekend means to Finley. Because of that, you and Marcus will put aside your issues and focus on her. You’ll be fine.”

“Maybe I should hire you as my therapist.”

“Sure thing, I’ll even give you the friends and family discount,” he said with a wink.

“How nice of you.”

“I’m a generous guy. But in all seriousness, have you thought about going that route?”

“What, back to therapy?”

“Yeah, but…couple’s therapy. Maybe that’s what you guys need.”

I shook my head. “Marcus has no interest in saving our marriage. Too much damage has been done. I’ve done too much damage and he’ll never trust me and there’s no marriage without trust.”

“So this is really the end? He’s filed for divorce? You guys were barely married a year.”

“Um…no he hasn’t, but I’m sure it’s coming.”

“So… a legal separation?”

I shook my head.

“So, you guys aren’t legally separated, nor has he filed for divorce, but…you don’t think he’s interested in saving the marriage. Typically people that don’t want to be married to someone take the necessary steps to end that marriage.”

Carter gave me a big smile as if he’d stated some painfully obvious fact that was meant to give me some sort of renewed hope. I was acutely aware that Marcus had yet to make any official move outside of leaving. I was even aware that like me, he still wore his wedding ring, but unlike what Carter was implying, I knew it had nothing to do with him wanting to stay married to me.

“It’s a nice thought, but it’s more about timing. Finley graduating, both of us moving, it’s all been about finding the time. I’m sure now that the house has sold he’ll go file and he’ll move on to find himself a nice woman that loves him.”

“He’s married to a nice woman that loves him.”

I gave him a slight smile. “Loves only him,” I clarified. I took a deep breath and buried my face in my hands.

“Ah. The other night Vik and I were watching one of those entertainment shows. She loves those things and they were doing an interview with some actor she loves. Anyway, something he said now I realize can apply to you.”

“How so?”

“Well he’s been divorced a time or two I guess…”

“Hey, I’ve technically only been divorced once!” I said, playfully punching him in the arm.

“You didn’t let me finish,” Carter exclaimed throwing his hands up in mock surrender.

“What I was going to say before you attacked me was he made a comment about loving two people. He said something to the effect that if you love two people you should be with the second because if you truly loved the first there wouldn’t be a second. That is what made me think of you, not the divorce part.”

“Oh…well…” I heard the sound of squealing brakes; turning to look out the window I saw the furniture delivery truck.

“Guess that’s my cue to leave before you put me to work.” Carter gave me another quick hug. “Think about what I said.”

As I walked Carter out, I did think about what he’d said. Sadly it still didn’t seem like a simple solution because I now wondered which man could be considered first. Yes, Marcus and I dated and he was my first love, but after the death of Amella everything changed when I moved. I didn’t think myself to still be in love with him when Mulo blew into my life. It was later that I fell back in love with Marcus. Now I found myself faced with the chicken and egg question. Which came first?


  1. I think it was really very sweet to see all of Amari's children come together and help her with the move. Out of everything that has happened to Amari through this ordeal she has been blessed 13 times and loves all of her children.

    I guess Finley wants to try and help Amari and Marcus to work out their differences by putting them together. Yes it could be as Carter said that its because she views them as her parents but she really doesn't need both of them, she wants them and she wants them together again.

    Carter's visit is exactly what she needed. He is really the only person who is truly there to listen to her and see things straight. All hope is not lost as Carter pointed out that Marcus has not filed for a legal seperation or divorce. There is still hope for the marriage.

    I do disagree with one thing Carter said about going with the second idea, you see the second might have made you realize what you had with the first love and appreciate it even more. In this case it is also debatable who the second really is. I think this does put her right back to the beginning I'm afraid.

    Congrats to Bynni and TK on their first child :)

    1. I thought it would be fun to see Amari with her kids, at least her adult ones minus Finley who was on quad duty with Marcus. LOL She's been put through hell, but she loves her kids, that's never wavered. Even when they gave her a hard time, she loved them and is thankful for each of them.

      Finley may have ulterior motives for wanting both Amari and Marcus to take her apartment hunting. Who knows what these kids get up to. LOL She loves them both and could just want to share this time in her life with both of them. They will suck it up and deal and try to not fight and ruin her weekend.

      She did need a friend. Her life has been one thing after the next but having Carter as a shoulder to lean on helped. Amari won't take steps to do it and so far Marcus hasn't so that could mean something. Amari doesn't want to get her hopes up though.

      Like everything in her life, nothing is ever without complications and that 'advice' from Carter is no exception. She does have to figure out who the second is because as she pointed out, that's not 100% clear cut. However will she figure this out????

      Thanks, SP finally knocked up one of Amari's kids without my interference. LOL

      thanks for reading

  2. It's good to see Amari try and make the best out of what must be a difficult situation for her family. Carter's parting words certainly gave her much to think about, not sure I agree with him though, about choosing/loving the second one, feels like over simplifying a complex situation.

    1. She's trying her best. She doesn't want to wallow in self pity, so instead she's attempting to move forward and start life fresh. I agree, it is trying to simplify a complex situation. If it were that easy, she wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. :( She has some soul searching to do. Couple's counseling may not be an option but she can possibly go to therapy on her own. Maybe it'll help her who knows.

      thanks for reading

  3. ***POSTING FOR MISCHIEFTHEKITTEN*** Blogger is being a dick and not letting her comment.

    "Amari has been dealt a tough hand but she's trying to make the most of it. It's interesting that Marcus is still wearing his wedding ring, but as she said it's more about timing so I won't get my hopes up yet. I do wonder if Finley wants them both to come apartment hunting because she's hoping they'll make up if they are forced to spend a weekend together in a casual setting..

    Congrats to Bynni and TK! They'll make great parents for sure :3"

    1. Feels weird to be responding to 'myself' in a way. LOL I do hope blogger will stop being a pain and let you comment again.

      Amari has been given rotten lemons in life. She doesn't let it keep her down for long though, she finds a way to push through and keep going. Yep, Marcus is still wearing his ring but Amari doesn't want to put any hope into the reasons why. Could be Finley is hoping her parents will work out their differences over the weekend or at least stop fighting so much.

      Thanks, SP threw me for that one so we'll see how it goes.

      thanks for reading

  4. Sounds like that could be a rough weekend. Hopefully it goes well, at least considering everything (I mean I won't expect it to not be difficult, just maybe it won't be as rough as Amari is anticipating), though. But I'm glad Amari and Marcus can be there for the kids no matter what.

    Congrats to Bynni and TK!

    I'm glad Carter stopped by. It's just good for her to have a friend to talk to and lean on while she deals with everything. Leave it to Amari to be able to complicate the "if you truly loved the first there wouldn’t be a second" thing, nothing's ever that simple in her life. It'll be interesting to see how she figures out who was first.

    1. Yeah it could be a rough weekend. Hopefully they will be able to put aside their differences and make it a fun weekend for Finley. They are parents first, so they will always try to do what's in the children's best interests even if it conflicts with what they want.

      Thanks. :)

      Amari needs a friend and she's happy to have Carter still after all these years. :) Of course Amari would complicated that! hahaha she complicates everything LOL. It's not as simple as Carter made it sound because she does have to really think about who was first in this current situation.

      thanks for reading

  5. The kids seem to be doing very well and it's always nice to see them. I'm sure it really made Amari's day to have them around. Dax made me lol. Better stop complaining and use those muscles :P

    It's great that she has people like Carter in her life. His advice to her was great. I especially loved the "love the second" part. I hope she does take his advice about counseling though. But it does take 2 I suppose. I'm with him. If Marcus hasn't taken the necessary steps to legally separate then there is still hope.

    I hope the weekend with Finley turns out well. They both can hopefully put aside their anger for that one day and just be friends (let's see). Who knows? Maybe it'll be the spark that they need to rekindle their relationship. Otherwise, it's nice to see she's at least trying to make it on her own. Pain and all :(

    1. I thought it would be fun for her to have all the kids around her. :) She's been through a lot, but the one constant in her life was the fact she loved her children. That hasn't changed. And yes, he's complaining LOL they still have to give her a hard time.

      Carter has proven to be a good friend over the years. They hit a rough patch, but they managed to work past it and she needs someone in her corner. It would be nice if knowing who the 'second' was to make life easier for her. Hopefully she will go to counseling. She's been before so she might be open to going again. Nope, Marcus hasn't taken the steps and Amari won't. She is following his lead so if he's not making a move neither will see. They can't live in limbo forever though so something will have to be done.

      Yes, they should be able to suck it up for a few days. It won't be 100% smooth sailing, but hopefully they won't let themselves get sucked into those petty arguments that seem to happen. She knows she's done wrong by Marcus so she's doing the only thing she thinks she can to make it right which is let him go. :( It hurts like hell, but she won't force the issue since he seems to be at the end of his rope.

      thanks for reading

  6. I have many more thoughts than what I've written in this comment, but I don't know how to express them.

    It's possible to love more than one man. I like what Carter said, though. Love the second one. It makes sense.
    Still, there's always that pull to the other one. It's never easy, but like Tom Hanks said in A League of Their Own: "It's the hard that makes it good." Real, honest-to-God love gets freaking hard when problems arise.

    I think it says a lot that Marcus hasn't filed for divorce. There's a shred, maybe more, of hope there. But still, divorce hasn't stopped them before.
    It all rides on him. It's up to him to forgive. Let me say that if he decides to do it, he'd better mean it. Otherwise, he's doing nothing but setting them up to be hurt again.

    1. Aww...well you can always come back and tell me later if you can get them worked out. It's not an easy thing and there is so much going on that it is hard to figure out what to to feel at times.

      It is possible to love more than one, Amari is proof of that. She does truly love both Marcus and Mulo. Loving the second makes sense in a way, but to her which is really the second? Marcus and Amari have had it hard. :( Their relationship has been a struggle from the beginning. Admittedly at lot of that is Amari's fault, but Marcus stuck around to try and make it work through it all. That says a lot. Mulo has caused her more sadness at times, but still when he's needed, he's there no questions asked. She wishes the decision was easy, but sadly it's not. :(

      Carter thinks the same thing. If Marcus was as over them as she claims, he'd have taken steps to end the marriage. Yes he's moved out, but that isn't as final as filing for divorce, or even a legal separation. The ball is totally in his court on where they go from here. He won't step back in unless he's 100% sure he's ready to deal with Amari and all her faults. She won't lie and say she no longer loves Mulo, but she has told him that she's committed to Marcus and their marriage. That will have to be enough for him.

      thanks for reading.

  7. I don't think it's that hard to figure out. Marcus was the first and Mulo was second. Amari first dated and loved Marcus. When she moved, she didn't break up with him or anything. She didn't even let him know. She just kinda... left. (Please correct me if I'm wrong about any of that) Just because she slept with Mulo first, it does not make him first. It's about love. Even when she only knew him as this cool pop star and had his picture on her wall. It wasn't love, more like a crush.

    1. Yes, Marcus was the first man she fell in love with but after her sister died, she picked up and left. She did break things off, that sorta came up when she went back to Riverview that first time. He told her he would have come with her if she'd asked. So she didn't just disappear on him.

      Mulo was the first for sex, true but for love he was the second man, but it's been complicated from the start. As she said, she fell back in love with Marcus after loving Mulo so what does that all really mean? It's a lot of what ifs. She wonders what life would have been like if Marcus had moved with her. She wonders what life would have been like in a real relationship with Mulo. That's something they've never tried.

      So while Marcus was first, she did manage to fall back in love with him even with Mulo in her life.

      thanks for reading :)

  8. Sorry if this is considered rude, but I have been searching for sims 3 cardboard boxes and moving day type pose packs forever. I would forever be in your debt if you could point me towards the ones you used here! :) TY so much in advance!

    1. um...some of the boxes came from here:

      and others came from here:

  9. Carter is being a really great friend. I think it's sweet that he shared that bit of advice with her, but honestly it seems like he's just justifying her behavior, which is something I can't agree with. I don't see how one person can TRULY be in love with more than one person at the same time. At some point, you just have to chose.

    1. He's not really justifying her actions, he just wants her to not completely give up hope. Yes Marcus is pissed, but if he was that pissed and done with her why hasn't he moved for divorce? That's what Carter really wanted to her think about. She does have to chose and she has. She has told Mulo she wants Marcus and she's told Marcus he is who she wants to be with. She's no longer undecided on that front. She can't turn off her feelings, but she is making a conscience choice to be with her husband and build a life with him. The problem is, for Marcus that choice has come a little too late and he's finally dealing with his repressed feelings that have been years in the making. :(

      thanks for reading