Two weeks later, Marcus was still mad at me, even going so far as to sleep in the boys’ old room and I needed him with me. I couldn’t sleep; I would have nightmares about Florence. I was trapped in a door-less room and I just heard her laughter or I was choking, unable to fight or scream for help. I would wake up in a panic and alone. During the day, I tried not to focus on it too much, choosing instead to take care of Finley. She was very upset with me being gone and once I returned home she hardly wanted to leave my side. Just once I wanted to not have my children negatively impacted by outside forces.
I tried to be understanding of Marcus’ frustration, but I
was starting to get annoyed with it the longer it carried on. When I tried to
talk to him, he didn’t want to listen to me, the only thing he was willing to discuss was our marriage plans. The fact that I didn't want to even consider getting married right now only added fuel to his fire. He was so angry over Mulo, that he
forgot about what I went through. I could have died, our babies could have
died, but that fact didn’t seem to register with him. We were at a stalemate sadly. When Finely was at school, I spent time painting to keep my mind off the tension in the house. When that didn't work, I took the dogs on short walks.
“Where are you going?” Marcus asked
as he stepped into the foyer. "You don't look like you are taking the dogs walking."
“I'm not, I'm just going out. I need some fresh air.” I
replied taking another step towards the door.
“Out to where Amari?” He asked
moving to block my path.
“I don’t know Marcus.” I snapped.
“I wasn’t aware I had to ask for approval before leaving the house now.”
“Well you are a bit of a flight
risk.”
Hearing his tone was like nails on a chalkboard, he didn't want to talk to me, but I was expected to remain on some sort of house arrest at the same time. I may have been on limited bed rest, but the stress of staying in the house was far worse than sitting at the park.
Hearing his tone was like nails on a chalkboard, he didn't want to talk to me, but I was expected to remain on some sort of house arrest at the same time. I may have been on limited bed rest, but the stress of staying in the house was far worse than sitting at the park.
“Why don’t you just say what’s really on your
mind and get it over with!” I yelled.
“Because I’m tired of you walking around with
this chip on your shoulder.”
“You went to him Amari, how do you
not expect me to be pissed about that?" Marcus yelled back. The anger he'd been harboring was finally coming out. "Him! Of all people! Then I show up to
take you home only to find you half dressed in his clothes coming from where?
His bedroom? His bed?”
I took a step back picking up on
his hidden accusation. It never failed; it was always the ones that meant the
most to me that could hurt me the worst. For him to even imply I would do something like that made me want to rethink more than just being married to him.
“Seriously Marcus? Are you
forgetting that your psycho ex kidnapped and tried to kill us? I didn’t go to
him Marcus; it wasn’t like I ran off with cold feet. He saved me. I am so sorry
I didn’t come home right away, I am, but cut me some damn slack! I had just had
an attempt made on my life, and then watched a woman be brutally murdered in
front of me! It was a lot Marcus, that coupled with the previous fears about us
getting married…” I stopped and rubbed my side. I needed to calm down because
they were not happy.
“I can’t sleep Marcus. I have nightmares about her, about
that day and when I wake up terrified the only person I want is you. But you
aren’t there because you are too damn busy being mad at me!” I screamed before
storming past him.
I didn’t get far because I got an
intense cramp that caused me to double over in pain. Marcus was at my side
instantly, all traces of anger dissipated.
“Baby what’s wrong.” I couldn’t answer;
all I could do was breathe through the pain which felt strangely like really
intense contractions. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“No.” I managed to groan. “Finley.
I-have-to-be-here.”
“I’ll make sure someone is here,
but you need the hospital.”
Marcus carried me to the couch and
called 911. Then he made a phone call to Ceula since she was the closest. She
spread the word to her siblings and would make sure that she was at the house
for when Finley got home from school. Marcus kept telling me how sorry he was during the ambulance ride. I saw the worry in his eyes, I was just as worried.
Once at the hospital it was determined I was indeed in early labor. The stress, plus the fact I was carrying multiples set it off. They
gave me medication to stop it, and a light sedative to help calm me. I tried to
protest the sedative, but the doctor said that it would help the medication
work quicker because they wouldn’t survive being born now.
