Monday, April 9, 2012

Chapter 75-Letting it out

By the time Saturday arrived I was relieved it was the weekend.  Mulo has shown up everyday right after the boys left for school.  I felt dirty sneaking around like this; it was almost as if I was having an affair all over again.  Shirley hadn’t returned to work yet so I hadn’t had to come up with an explanation as to who Mulo was.  The hours he spent here were tough.  He had his faults but he was a good father, he always had been.  He treated Bynni and Ceula no different from Aric and was there for them when they both needed that father figure.  Now seeing him with the triplets and seeing how much they adored him left me conflicted.  On the one hand they should adore him, he was their father, but on the other I would rather them not be able to know their father.  The silence in the house was always my enemy. It left me with time to think and wallow in my own private hell. 
Dax was out practicing his driving skills with Carter while Dunham had gone to a movie with a friend.  I suspected he had a girlfriend.  He was wearing cologne, taking longer to get ready in the mornings making sure he looked ‘just right’ before leaving.
 He had almost missed the bus a few mornings.  I wanted to ask him but I figured it would be an awkward conversation to have with his mom.  Aric eventually let me meet Nina and Bynni reluctantly let me meet TK so I decided I would just wait it out.  Besides that was my only choice since my attempts to pry information out of Dax had failed.  He would simply smile and pretend he didn’t know what I was talking about.  Those boys were sticking together which made me happy in a way.  It meant their relationship was definitely on the mend so I didn’t mind too much if they were joining forces against me.  I laughed to myself as I remembered the look of absolute horror on their faces when I attempted to have ‘the talk’ with them.  It was a bittersweet moment since I’m sure that would have been a father/sons talk.  With five kids in the house, I was able to keep myself busy with cleaning.  Something was always dirty. 
I was finishing up as Dax and Carter returned.  Although he was busier now after his latest promotion, Carter still found time to help.  I would be lost without him and Jonas especially when it came to teaching the boys to drive.  They were a very important part of my life, my family and I cared for both of them deeply.
“Hey mom Carter thinks I’m ready to take my driver’s test.”  I cringed at that thought.  I hadn’t taught any of the kids to drive.  Mulo took care of with the older three.  I tried but I would get so nervous I thought I would get sick. 
“That’s great dear.” I croaked out.
Both of them laughed at my distress.
“It’ll be ok Amari.  He really is a good driver.”  Carter put a reassuring arm on my shoulder.  None of the kids had ever been in an accident so I’m not sure why I got so nervous about them driving but it was the only thing I refused to do.
“Sweet!” Dax exclaimed as he checked his text messages.
“Hey mom can I head out?  Couple of the guys are getting together over at the rec center for some flag football.”
“Yeah, go have fun.”
“Thanks mom.  Oh and can I have some cash?  We probably will grab pizza afterwards.”
I gave him thirty bucks, he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek then ran out the door.  Once he was gone Carter turned to me looking very serious.
“Can we talk?”
“Of course.”  We headed into the living room.
“You can tell me it’s none of my business but…”  He took a deep breath rubbing his hand over his face.
“Carter what is it?” 
“A few days this week I was going to stop by after my shift before heading home and I saw you with Mulo.  I know you two have a history and with Marcus--- well what I’m getting at is isn’t it a little soon, I mean do you think it’s wise to be…”  Carter was flustered and nervous.  I felt the shame and embarrassment over what he thought was going on.
“Oh, that.”  I said sliding onto the couch.
“Like I said you can tell me it’s none of my business, but considering…um your health I’m concerned.”
This is the situation I dreaded happening.  Someone seeing him coming around and getting the wrong idea.   Only I thought it might be one of the boys or perhaps Cece considering she also lived close now.  I chewed on my lower lip as I thought about what to tell him.
“Would you believe me if I told you it’s not what you think?”  I asked wringing my hands together while shooting him a side glance.
“Yes I would.” He answered without hesitation.
I twirled my thumbs as I considered telling him what I had done.  He and Jonas were my only friends and I had come to depend on them and that friendship heavily.  The idea of having their view of me tarnished was a painful thought but I needed to tell someone.  The guilt and secrecy was eating me alive.  I had found myself needing to have a glass of wine or three in order to sleep most nights.  I took a deep breath.
“It’s not what you think but it’s just as bad.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He’s here to visit the triplets.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Be…be…cause they’re his.”  I sobbed.  He didn’t respond, instead he pulled me close while I cried.  “Oh Carter I’m terrible.  I…I never thought I could do that, but but I must have.”  I continued crying letting everything I had been holding in come tumbling out.
“Shhh.  It’s ok.  Just take a deep breath.”  He gave me a few moments to collect myself.  “Now explain ‘must have’ don’t you know?  It’s not exactly something that could happen without your knowledge.”
“Yes but I…I don’t remember.  I told you Mulo was different and the triplets, their eyes.  It’s the only explanation.”
Carter rubbed small circles on my back as I started crying again.
“But you don’t know for sure?”  I didn’t know if that was a statement of disbelief to himself or a question directed at me either way I shook my head no.  Carter turned me to face him then wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“I don’t believe you would do that to Marcus I don't care how confused you were at the beginning of the marriage.  And for you to not remember something as big as committing adultery and the fact you also lost those three days are very troubling.”
I threw my arms around his neck.  I was relieved he was his usual logical self and didn’t rush to pass judgment or think the worst of me.
“Thank you!”  I said giving him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“For what?”
“For being you.  I love you Carter and would be lost without you.”
“I love you to Amari.”  He replied softly.
Cries came over the baby monitor interrupting our conversation.  When Jonas got off work he came over to join us for dinner.  Dunham walked in right as we were setting the table.  When I saw him I couldn’t help but to smile.  Dax saw him and burst out laughing.
“What’s your problem man?” He asked as all eyes were on him while we tried to contain our own laughter.
“Dude you might want to wipe your face.  Not sure if pink’s really your color?”
“What the heck are you talking about?”
“You got a little something right there.” Dax said pointing at his cheek.  Dunham’s eyes widened as his hand flew to his cheek.  We all burst out laughing as he ran to check his reflection in the glass.  He shot his brother a death glare as he grabbed a napkin to clean off his cheek.  Dinner was fun and relaxed. 
Dax gave his brother more grief about his mystery girl which resulted in peas being thrown across the table.
“Dax leave your brother alone.”  I said smiling at Dunham while tousling his hair.
“Mom stop.” He said gently knocking my hand away before readjusting this hair.
“Aww hunny it’s cute really.  Your first girlfriend.  Hopefully you’ll let me meet this young lady soon.”
“Maybe.” He mumbled
After dinner Jonas helped the boys clean up while Carter helped me get the triplets ready for bed.
“Amari I was serious about what I said earlier.”
“I know.” I replied giving Elton a kiss goodnight.
“No I don’t think you do.”
I looked up at him confused as to what he was saying.
“What do you mean?”  I asked picking up Elphie to get her ready for bed.
He finished changing Edson before putting him in the crib.  He gave him a quick kiss then headed out of the nursery.
“Carter wait.” I said pulling him into my room.  “There is obviously something on your mind so just tell me.”
“It’s nothing really.  I just wanted you to know how I felt about you.  I mean about what we were discussing earlier.  Your situation.”  He added quickly
“Thanks Carter and I want you to know how much that truly means to me.”
“Yeah, well um the gaps in your memory really concern me.  I think you need to get scheduled for a CT scan just to make sure it isn’t something serious.”
“Ok if you think that’s best but I’m not sure it’s medical.”
“It has to be something, that isn’t normal.”
“Well you're the doctor.”  I knew it wasn't medical it was Mulo.  Why didn’t I think about his possible involvement earlier?  It could have been Marisol but with Marcus gone I didn’t really have anything she wanted right now.  No the more I thought about it the more I was convinced Mulo had to be involved somehow.  The only question is why, why would he do that?  Since I still didn’t feel right about this current paternity issue, I didn’t trust him to be completely honest and forthcoming about anything I asked him.  I was walking around with a pit in my stomach for a reason and it had to be more than just guilt.  Mulo claimed I asked him to cloak my memories but what if it was something else? 
After Jonas and Carter left I made the call I had avoided all week.  It was time to speak to Aric and Bynni.  Hopefully they could help me fill in the missing pieces.


  1. Poor Carter me thinks is in love, i'm not sure how much of a good chance he would have between the missing Marcus and Mulo.

    Dunham with the lipstick on his cheek was classic and cute, i knew he weren't doin no kinda studying=b.

    So now we find out somethings i'm thinking next chapter. The possibilities i'm bittersweet about. I know Mulo is a shit but i can't help but like him, even though i know he's probably been up to all kinds of no good. I really, really hope he didn't have anything to do with Marcus' disappearance but i have a sneaky suspiscion he did. As much crap as he has put her through already, poor girl don't need nothing else. I' have kind of a weird stancfe on everything. I want Amari to find true happiness and god knows she deserves some piece of mind and Marcus returning may do that, on the other hand i completely adore Mulo(yea i know, i'm a nut job=b) and kind of hope things work out between them for the twins sake, if he could quit being naughty=b, plus i just like them together.
    Whatever happens i sure hope it's something good for Amari=)....edenz~

    1. It would seem that Carter might be in love. He's been there for her through a lot.

      Dunham and his new girlfriend. :) Teenage boys...he is studying his grades are coming up. ;)

      Yes the next chapter will answer the questions Amari has. He does have his likable qualities, like being a good daddy, but he is a real ass at times. Marcus won't be one of those answers, sorry. Amari does deserve some happiness. She had it briefly with Marcus. As for peace of mind, with Mulo and Marisol in her life that won't be happening anytime soon. So you are hoping that Mulo is really the daddy and that they can't work out his assholey (is that a word?) issues enough to make things work.


      Thanks for reading.

  2. that would be peace of mind and triplets, not only can i not spell but apparently i can't count now either=b...edenz

  3. I agree with Edenz! Carter loves Amari as more than just a friend! I don't know why I'm surprised!

    I smiled throughout this chapter. I'm really glad that she told someone what has really been bothering her. Maybe now she will begin to feel better. I still miss Marcus and wonder what happened to him!

    Now I don't think that Mulo had anything to do with his disappearance! Still he is wrong to make Amari think that she committed adultery. I don't think she did!

    This was really good, Jaz! I'm glad that your game cooperated so that you could do this chapter!

    1. Carter does love Amari, she just doesn't know it.

      I tried to make this chapter a little more lighthearted. I know it's been heavy for the last few. Glad it was able to bring a smile to your face. She misses Marcus too, and so do I. He is a great guy. Yeah if anyone was able to get her to open up it would have been good ole' Carter.

      You still think Mulo had nothing to do with the disappearance uh? He is wrong for the mind tricks he's been playing on her. Next chapter should answer some questions.

      Thanks for reading.

  4. Oh poor carter...somebody's in love it seems. Aww and he's such a sweet guy too, I feel bad for him. Oh and Dunham is super cute with this whole girlfriend thing... I loved that it made me smile, too cute. Mulo does look so nice there acting fatherly. I hate that. LOL, I want to hate him completely... I still wanna stake him, and really wonder what the heck is going on. I still miss Marcus too...the suspense of everything is going to kill me I swear. Loved this.

    1. Yes poor Carter, in love with someone that doesn't know it. :( The girlfriend thing is fun. Being such a boy and not wanting to talk to him mom. Mulo has been good in the father category. He's great with the triplets and he was good with Ceula and Bynni when they were little. You won't be able to hate him completely. He may do some really bad things, but he always manages to do something really great as a counter balance. :P

      I miss Marcus too. Next chapter should get you some answers.

      Thanks for reading.

  5. I'm so glad Amari has such a wonderful friend in Carter. She really needs that right now. And I was so happy when they had their talk, it helped Amari sort through some of her confusion. Whatever Mulo did has to be real major for her not to remember anything and now more than ever I'm convinced he had a lot to do with Marcus' disappearance. Get rid of the competition and step in his shoes so to speak?

    1. Yes Carter has been there each time she really needed a friend. He has helped her through a lot and she has come to really depend on him. Mulo cloaked her memories much in the way he did for CeCe after the whole David thing. She needs to figure out how to recover those memories since she doesn't trust him to tell her the truth. It wouldn't be the first time Mulo has gotten rid of the competition.

      Thanks for reading.

  6. The fun twist in this chapter is Carter, he would be falling love with Amari, it makes sense sharing all that he has with her over time. I'm excited for Aric and Bynni to get more involved with Amari...they'll surely sense things aren't quite right and perhaps lead to shedding some light on the matter. I am excited for news of Marcus and to see what/when something stirs Amari's recollection of past events...your story always ends on an exciting note...very good so enjoyed it.

    1. yes it would appear that Carter is falling in love with Amari only she doesn't see it. I am partial to Aric (I know I shouldn't have favorites) but he is my first born and he's a most awesome character. Bynni hasn't had much play so it will be fun to see her again. They do sense things are off but not sure how. Amari has been confused and off for a while. Sadly there won't be any news of Marcus. She doesn't know anything and I highly doubt that Mulo would be willing to give up any information that he knows. We will find out where she was those 3 days and if Mulo is really the father of the triplets.

      Thanks for the continued support.

  7. Dunham was so secretive, is it still the tutor I wonder?
    It does seem Carter cares a lot for Amari, but I didn't think it was anything outside of friendship. I don't know why, but I always imagined him as being gay. I hope they do more testing than just the CT. I think she should have a paternity test for the triplets somehow, secretively. I still can't think that they are Mulo's. Maybe Marcus was being changed at the time of conception? far out there thought :)

    Loved it, great pictures and more mystery. No matter how nice Mulo may seem, I still want to punch him in the nose.

    1. Yes Dunham is secretive. But Aric was that way when he first started dating Nina. Teenage boys don't want to share their love lives with their mom. LOL Carter isn't gay LOL he just doesn't date much. If he's not working, he's with Amari and her family since his is so far away other than Jonas. A paternity test, well depending on what happens in the next chapter that may be in order. :)

      Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliment on the pictures. That desire to punch him is only going to get worse.

  8. Poor Carter. It's very obvious how he feels about Amari and he even said as much thinking she meant her "I love you" in a different way. He's a very sweet and dear friend and I doubt Amari returns those affections like that. I hope he isn't heartbroken if they ever really talk about that.

    Dunham's secret girlfriend...hmm perhaps Mom has already met her! It's sorta cute the way everyone teases him. And I laughed at his extra care taken in his look :P

    I hate Mulo, let's keep that straight. But watching him with the kids was sweet. Now he may die!

    1. Can you stop wanting to kill of my leading men LOL. He can't die he's still needed for the story.

      Yes poor Carter. I don't think he took her "I love you" wrong but I think she did mistake his. He is a very dear friend, the only one she's had since moving and the relationship that they have means a lot to her.

      Dunham's secret girlfriend...when could mom have met her??? hmmmm? :) The teasing is fun but he sets himself up for it with the way that he acts. He has to make sure he looks good for his girl. More mature ;)

      Aww don't hate poor Mulo. He's just misguided in his definition of love but he is a good daddy when he sets his mind to it.

      Thanks for reading.

  9. Awww, I think Carter does have a crush as well...but I'm not sure how it can work out well...there's something between Amari and Mulo that I don't think will ever be gone. She's going to have to deal with it at some point.

    1. Yes it would seem he does have a bit of a crush. Amari has too much going on to notice. Mulo is a HUGE thorn in her side that won't go away. She will need to deal with him at some point but it won't be easy.

  10. Awww Carter is crushing! I was kind of hoping as a friend he's help her out in the baby department. He has been such a good friend to her that there is no question he'd be there for her and the kids.

    1. Yes sadly things are shifting for Carter. He is a great friend and will be there to help her in anyway he can.