Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Chapter 73-Baby Steps

The next few days were very strange.  Mom acted as if her world hadn’t been shattered.  Dad tried to talk to her but she refused.  He packed up and left that day saying they would straighten things out once she returned home.  I tried to talk to her about it, but she would always change the subject.  She spent her days cooking, cleaning, and spoiling her grandchildren.  As her daughter, I knew I should have pushed harder to get her to open up.  I was the one person that could understand what she was going through, but honestly I didn’t know if I could deal with it if she did.  I knew it wasn’t healthy for her to be holding it in and I feared she was going to have a melt down at any moment. 

There were times I would find her crying, but she would always say she was fine and not to worry.  Things with Dax were still strained but we were trying.  My house became a revolving door of visitors with all the kids coming and going not to mention Jonas and Carter continually stopping by to check on me.  I truly believed people kept coming to make sure I didn’t run off again.  I still had no idea where I had disappeared to for three days and anytime I tried to remember, my head would hurt.  The babies were born five weeks early. We had triplets.  Marcus would have been thrilled, he got his little girl.  We had two more boys as well.  Edson was born first,
 then came Elphie,

 and lastly was Elton.

 It was a long and painful labor.  I barely cared for the babies while I was in the hospital.  Everyone assumed it was because of the delivery, but I knew differently.  Mom stayed with me for a few weeks after they arrived for which I was grateful.  These were the first set of grandkids she got to see at birth.  If they woke up in the middle of the night she would be the one to see about their needs. 

We still never talked about Dad and I wasn’t sure how she would function after she arrived home.  She told me not to worry and everything would be fine.  I tried to get her to stay with me, we had plenty of room but she said she wasn’t a city girl.  I was thankful she stayed as long as she did because seeing and caring for the babies made me sad.  My heart still ached for Marcus and I felt myself sinking further into a depression.  I needed him, I wanted him home.  He needed to meet his children; they deserved a chance to get to know him.  After mom left the care of the babies fell a lot on to Dax and Dunham.  I hired a nanny for when they were at school because the first day I was home alone with them I felt overwhelmed and I ended up locking myself in my room and crying.  I managed to call CeCe and Trey.  They had moved into our old house and were the closest option.  They came and cared for them while I stayed in my room.   Carter suggested I go to counseling but I rejected the idea at first.  As the weeks went on, I became more and more distant from everyone.
 If I wasn’t in my room, I was in the basement painting. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his face.  It was such a happy day, and I wanted to be back there so desperately.
 He would still be here if it wasn’t for my insistence he be turned.  If I had just accepted his fate he would have been with us still.  We would have had a chance to say goodbye.
 Watching him die would have killed me, but this not knowing; the lack of an answer to knowing if he was safe or not was a million times worse than facing his death.  I did this to him; I did this to our family.
 I couldn’t look at the faces of Dax or Dunham without seeing him.  My selfishness cheated them out of time with their father.  How could I expect them to forgive me for that?
 I finished the painting and spent two days curled up under it crying or sleeping.  When I finally came out of my fog, I was upstairs in my bed with Ceula curled up beside me. I called Carter and had him set up an appointment with the therapist.  The first couple of sessions I spent either not saying a word or crying.  Arriving home after my sixth session, I found Dax and Dunham in the dining room doing homework.
 “Hey guys.  Can I talk to you for a sec?”
Both boys looked annoyed but put away their notebooks as I sat down.
“Where are your siblings?”
“Sleep.  We fed them, changed them, played with them and now they are sleeping.” Dax supplied the information.
“Thank you.”
“Is that it?” Dunham asked.  “I’m tired and really need to try and finish my math.”  Looking into their green eyes I saw their disappointment and frustration.  I was letting them down.  Dunham was even finding it hard to maintain his patience with me.
 “Not really.  I want to; no I need to apologize to you both.  Your dad being gone has been hard on me but it’s been hard on you two as well and I haven’t handled things well.”  I took a deep breath before continuing.  “I’m sorry for the stress I have put on you both.  You are teenagers and should get to act like ones, instead you have been taking care of your siblings and well me too.  I promise you both I’m trying to get better.  It won’t be perfect and I will probably still screw up, but I’m going to try.  You guys deserve it, and the triplets deserve it.  I hope in time you can forgive me.”  They sat there looking at me, trying to decide what to say.  
 “It’s sucked around here for a while now mom.  I think you have been more than a little selfish in how you have acted.  We miss him too but you seemed to have forgotten that.  It’s been like we lost both parents and the rugrats don’t even know who you.”
“Dax, I know…” he put his hand up to stop me.
“Let me finish.  I’ve acted like a jerk a time or two so I get it.  You say you’re going to try, so we’ll let you try.”
“Thank you.”
“Yeah I guess I agree with Dax, especially about him being a jerk part.”
“Whatever dude.”
 Even though I hadn’t spoken a word in therapy it was helping more than I could imagine.
“If you really want to try, you can help me with my homework.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“It would really help to have your dad here.  I suck at math but he loved the stuff.  Dax can’t you help?”
“I’ve tried and I’ve learned he’s not a very good student.”
 “More like you’re a crappy teacher.”  It warmed my heart to see them joking around.  I prayed for their sakes I was able to find it within myself to be the parent they needed.
 “Ok.  Tomorrow I will contact your teacher to see if she knows of a good tutor.  For now give Carter a call.  He’s a doctor, surely he can figure out trig.”
Turns out he was on call at the hospital but Jonas came over and brought Pebbles with him.  Dunham was really struggling with his math; it took the two of them almost an hour to complete his homework.  A tutor would be first order of business tomorrow.
 “Thanks for your help Jonas.  We would still be sitting there if it were left to me.”
“Glad I could help.  I was a little rusty, since it’s been years since I even looked at a math book.”
We stood in an awkward silence for a little while.  Jonas stepped closer to me, I could tell by the look on his face he had something he needed to get off his chest. 
“Um, Amari—“
“Would you like some coffee?”  I interrupted him not wanting to hear the lecture I was sure would be coming about my appalling behavior. 
“No.  If I drink coffee this late I will be up all night and I have work in the morning.”
“Oh, ok.  Jonas, I want to thank you and Carter again.  I’m sure you two are both wishing you’d never met me at this point.”  I tried to make light of the situation but I meant what I said.
“My running away threw me into Carter’s life which has now thrown me into yours.  I bet you didn’t think you would be taking care of five kids and a whack job of a neighbor when you moved here.”  I was so tired of crying.  At some point I had to run out of tears, but I hadn’t reached that point yet as I felt them rolling down my face again.
“I’m sorry.” I muttered wiping them away.
“It’s ok.” Jonas whispered pulling me into a hug.  “You’re right this isn’t what I expected when I moved here, but it doesn’t matter.  I care about you and I’m happy to do whatever I can to make things better for you.  And I know Carter feels the same way.”
Jonas wrapped his arms tighter around me; for the briefest moment I allowed myself the comfort of him holding me and life almost felt normal again.
“I, um I should probably go.”  Jonas broke from our hug.  When I looked at him he had a peculiar look on his face.  He quickly scooped up Pebbles, gave me a peck on the cheek then left.
That night I moved the baby monitor out of their room and into mine.  Around 2 am I heard one of them cooing and making noises.  I walked into the nursery and Elphie was awake and playing quietly in her crib while her brothers slept.  The moment our eyes met my heart sank. 
 “No, no no no no” I muttered stumbling out of the room.  I sank down onto the floor hugging my knees tightly to my chest.

 There was no way, this wasn’t right.  Her eyes as soon as they were on me I flashed back to Aric as a toddler.  They were the same but they couldn’t be. 
“Please be dreaming, please be dreaming.”  I shut my eyes tight hoping to wake up from this nightmare.  I wouldn’t have cheated on Marcus.  I couldn’t have done that to him.  I know I was confused at the beginning but I promised to be faithful.  I was faithful.
“This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening…”
Elphie’s coos were turning into cries.  I didn’t want her waking up her brothers.  I took a deep breath and went back into the nursery.  She had a sweet smile on her face when she saw me.

 “Ma-Ma” She said reaching her arms out for me.  My hands were in fists my by my side.  I couldn’t hold her, I was scared to hold her. 
“Ma-Ma.” She repeated.  Her little face was now wearing a frown as if she sensed my reluctance to go near her.  I continued to stand there frozen in place.  Even when she threw her head back and started wailing I made no more to go comfort her.  Elton and Edson were awakened by the noise; I was faced with two more pairs of those same eyes.
“Mom.  What’s wrong?”  Dax came walking into the nursery rubbing his eyes.  He walked over to the crib to pick up Elphie.
“Shhh…what’s wrong Fi-Fi?”
“I…I’m sorry.  I came but…she, um”
 “She just has to get used to you mom.  That’s all.”
Dunham came in shortly after Dax, as if on auto pilot he picked up one of the boys, changed his diaper gave him a quick kiss and put him back in his crib them repeated the process with the other boy.
“I’m sorry guys.”
“It’s ok mom.  We got this.”  Dunham said while in the mist of a big yawn.  Edson and Elton both went back to sleep quickly.  Elphie had other plans as she reached out for me again.
 “Guess she wants you after all Mom.” Dax said shoving her into my arms before I could protest.  She looked up at me with those eyes which sent a shiver down my spine.  How did they not see it?  Was I going crazy?  Maybe I was imagining things.  Maybe I would wake up in the morning and this would all be a bad dream.  My babies, Marcus’s babies would be normal.  They have to be Marcus’s babies because the alternative was a reality I didn’t want to face.

****A little note.  Thank you for the patience and understanding about the delay in getting this chapter out.  Things seem to be working although I am still dealing with crashes.  For game purposes I have changed worlds although for story purposes it will remain the same.  Just wanted to let you know that in case you note differences in the backgrounds and such.  Hopefully I won't have such a long break between chapters again. 

Thanks for your continued support of my stories.


  1. Whoa!

    The plot thickens.What with Marcus gone and the triplets having vampire glowing eyes. I can't wait to find out what the story is behind them being Vampires and who their real daddy is.

    I'm glad Amari finally went for therapy, it pained me to see her so depressed and shutting out her kids. And I'm also happy with her talk with Dunham and Dax, it was a long time coming.

    As for her mom, I hope she'll find an outlet for her anger.

    1. Yes the plot does thicken. The story behind those eyes will be revealed in a chapter or two as well as who their father is.

      She needed therapy. She was sinking farther and farther into a depression shutting out the world. Dax and Dunham are pretty good kids for the most part and they needed that talk with her as much as she did. Hopefully this puts them on the road to recovery together.

      Her mom is going through the steps of grief and is stuck on denial.

      Thanks for reading.

  2. I'm wondering if the babies were turned by M while in the womb? i remember a few chapters back Amari went to visit him, he touched her stomach and the babies calmed right down, i also believe he he bit her that day, and wasn't there a time when she was first pregnant when he gave her his blood when he kissed her?..I'm probably putting too much into it but still...he did say something about it was insurance...makes one wonder, will have to go scrolling back and try and find those chapters..i wanna know=b.

    It's good she is trying for the boys, they have practically raised the triplets while she was having her breakdown, although i kind of understand, the boys are just kids still themselves. Looking forward to more, wanna know how them babies became vamps!....edenz~

    1. Yes the babies did have an immediate reaction to him when he put his hand on her belly. Yes he did give her his blood earlier in the pregnancy, which he also did when she was pregnant with the boys. What he had never done was bit her while pregnant so you may be on to something. ;)

      She finally realized she needed help and couldn't continue on the way she was. The boys as well as her other children, were raising the triplets. They are still kids who are also grieving the loss of their father which she hasn't really allowed them to do.

      You will get all the answers soon.

      Thanks for reading.

  3. I'm sorry to hear your comp is still ornery.
    The mystery of the turning. I wonder if Marcus did come back somehow and took her away those three days she was gone. I also wonder if the twins have always seen the toddlers' eyes like that or maybe she is hallucinating. I think if they recognised the eyes as the same as Aric's, they would have asked Amari more questions during their little family table talk. Dunno.... something doesn't 'feel' right and I can't wait to read more. ^_^

    1. Yes it is still giving me fits but I am working through it.

      No Marcus is still MIA so he didn't have anything to do with them being vamps :(. The twins may or may not have noticed. Them not saying anything could mean they haven't or she's having a really really bad dream. More to come soon.

      Something is off.

      Thanks for reading.

  4. Yay! Update! Sorry your compy is still wonky!

    Plots thickening only make me think of soup!
    And it's raining here, so that's a double!

    That SOB Mulo. He turned the babies when he bit her. I get this feeling that at this very moment Marcus is on his way home from wherever he is. Vampire and all is well, until he sees his babies. There's no way he'll believe they're his when he sees their vampire eyes.
    This is all messed-up!

    1. Yes it's out finally. I am working to figure out my game still but at least I got it done.

      The babies being vamps does have something to with Mulo biting her. There was a reason he wouldn't do it before when she was pregnant. Marcus is still MIA but if he did come back right now he would have questions that Amari couldn't answer :( She would have a hard time convincing him they are his especially since she doubts it right now.

      It is all very messed up. Thanks for reading.

  5. Just got on and so Happy to see this update!

    I think that eventually her mother is going to explode at her father. Especially when she fully realizes what he has caused to happen to their daughters.

    I wonder if Amari is being changed slowly into something else. The babies' eyes may be that way because of her. Marcus will be so hurt if he thinks that the babies aren't his! I feel so badly for Amari! She is having such a hard time! I hope that she can get close to these babies too and close to her sons again before it is too late. Marcus needs to come home!

    Another great update!

    1. I was happy to finally get it out! The mom will need to deal with her emotions but she's not ready to yet.

      Amari being changed, not quite. She is still very much human. Mulo likes her that way, she's easier to control. They are that way because of outside interference. He would be hurt to think she cheated on him if he ever comes home. She is having a hard time of life. I feel bad for writing her that way :(. I will try to give her some good times.

      As far as getting close to the babies, that will be tough in her fragile state if she thinks she slept with Mulo while married to Marcus. She is already carrying a ton of guilt. This will not help. He does need to come home but we don't know if he's still alive or not. :(

      Thanks for reading!

  6. What's not to enjoy? You do know how to spin a story and keep it exciting...triplets..that will help push you closer to the 100 goal..I do want marcus to return...but perhaps for the sake of the story he won't, I like the suspense of wondering if he will or not though...It's a given that Mulo will be. This was worth the wait...so good!

    1. Thanks Connie. :) This chapter was a struggle. Yes she will need to have multiples if she's ever going to make it through these babies at the rate I'm going.

      A lot of people want Marcus to return. He needs to return for the sake of his wife's sanity. Having someone missing is the worst thing because you area always left wondering. Never getting any answers.

      Yes Mulo will stick around.

      Thanks for reading!

  7. I was happy to see Amari finally come around and make an effort to heal with her children. I love how forward they were about the whole thing, they did lose someone too and her selfishness has kept everyone from properly mending and moving forward. The twins haven't been able to be kids because they took on her job of caring for their siblings but not that she's prepared to accept responsibility...ish, perhaps they can become a family once more.

    The trips eyes though...I admit I lol'd when she thought she was going crazy...it was funny to me :( sorry LOL just was. I really do wonder if they will discuss her absence too...the children have to be somewhat curious! I know I am :D

    1. She is putting forth an effort. She hasn't been fair to the twins and she needs to take them into account. She has stripped them of their teenage-hood a bit by making them care for their siblings. It will be a long road to get back on track but she is going to try for their sake.

      She does think she is going crazy. She can't catch a break poor woman.

  8. Finally had a chance to get all caught up and I am so glad I did! Was hoping Marcus would have turned up by now but maybe it's not meant to be. I was happy to see the truth come out about what Amari's father had done. Her mom had the right to know the truth, I just hate that she had to go through that though.

    Glad Amari realized the boys deserve to be kids while they still have a chance, though I know how hard it is for her to face the triplets. I hate that Mulo turned them before they were born, even more so that she has no idea what happened and is questioning herself.

    Great update and can't wait for the next one Jaz!

    1. Glad you are all caught up again. Sadly no Marcus is still missing. Amari and the boys would like for him to return as well. It was time for Kathy to learn the truth. At some point I will need to work in more of what happens afterwards for them. The only reason Amari never told her mom was to spare her that pain.

      She did finally come to her senses and decide she needed to be a mom again. It will still be a rough road but she will make an effort. The triplets are a new source of heartache with her thinking she cheated on Marcus. It doesn't help her fragile state of mind.

      Thanks for the continued support. Hope to see a new chapter of Rock babies soon. :)

  9. Ooooh, I'm so glad you're back! My does the plot thicken! I can't wait to see how it continues! Phenomenal writing as usual!

    1. Thanks, it took some work but I was able to get things going again. I have the next chapter written, I just need to settle down and take the pictures.

  10. Good to see Amari come around! I can only imagine how hard it is for her to go through the birth of the babies and then move on each day without word or any indication of when or if Marcus will ever come home.

    The babies eyes! Mula just won't stop hurting her!

    1. She is trying for the kids at least. She's been more than a little self absorbed and she needs to change that.

      Mulo has no plans on letting her be too free of him.