Happy Holidays!

So I have really been trying to get the next update written, but it's not going so well. I have a lot of things going on with family and my thoughts are all scattered on this story as well as my others. Writer's block is a bitch!!!! Not only am I stuck on this one, but I can't even get things together for my for fun legacy game play and don't even get me started on my follow up book to Fiendish. 

One thing is for sure, this story will have an ending! I will not leave you guys hanging I PROMISE. If I can manage to get the next update written, I'll post it even if it's an off 'update' week. I started it, I just need to find some quiet time to finish.

In the meantime I want to wish all of you Happy Holidays!

From my family to yours, hope everyone enjoys this holiday season however you celebrate.

Continue Reading: "Happy Holidays!"

Chapter 121-The Hands of Time

Mulo stood propped up in the doorway wearing his signature smug grin.

“What are you doing here?”

“Come now Love, you already know why I’m here,” he smiled and strolled past me into my hotel room.

Seeing him again after the last few weeks, left me conflicted. I had told myself I wasn’t going to go to him. I had to handle this on my own for the sake of my marriage, I had to, but he was here. He came to me…but I couldn’t let him…I couldn’t accept his help.

“You can’t stay. You…I…you have to go.”

“You seem nervous, Love,” Mulo said crossing the room to stand in front of me. “Why are you so nervous?” His voice dropped down as he let his fingers trace the contour of my jaw.

“Mulo, don’t.”

He ran his thumb across my bottom lip and inhaled deeply. “I know that scent well,” he said with a smirk.

I shifted my weight from leg to leg, ignoring his comment. “How did you know I was here?”

“We may not be bonded like before, Love, but I always know where you are.”

I narrowed my eyes and frowned at him. “You do know that stalking someone is against the law.”

He laughed. “Are you going to turn me in?”

He stood in front of me, smiling. Something was off, different. Mulo had always been serious, but he seemed relaxed, almost playful. He leaned forward, his clean spicy scent swirled around me. Our time on the island came barreling back, all the feelings, emotions and primal urges threatening to take over. I moved away needing to distance myself. Wrapping my arms around my body, I thought about Marcus. I’d told him this was done. We were married, we took vows. Mulo couldn’t be a part of my life anymore. When I looked up, Mulo was studying me intently.

“That look tells me you’re worried about the husband.”

“You said you respected my choice. You said you’d stop this pursuit of me and let me live in peace with the man that I love.”

“One of the men you love,” he corrected, “and I did when I thought he was worthy of you. However, any man that would make you choose between his frail ego and your child gets no respect!”

I opened my mouth to refute his claims but came up empty. How could Mulo know that’s how I’d felt? “He’s…that’s not what he’s doing. He wouldn’t.”

“He may not have said it out right, but that’s exactly what is happening. Our son came to me. Our son! The boy that has all but disowned me, came on your behalf because you are scared to because of how he would ‘feel’.” Mulo’s tone was harsh and awash with sarcasm and contempt.

“That’s not…that’s not why. It wasn’t about him.”

“No?” he asked cocking his head to the side. Challenging my lie.

“No. It’s me. I…I need to not always use you as my crutch. I can’t always depend on you. I can’t always come to you when there’s an issue. I need to stand on my own two feet.” I hoped my words sounded more convincing than I felt. It was true; I needed to not always run to Mulo. Marcus was right in that statement.

“That’s great, Love, and I would respect that if it wasn’t total bullshit.” He crossed the room, pulling me into his arms. “Tell me that when you got that first call your first thought wasn’t about me. Tell me you didn’t want me instantly to come and save Ceula, save you from whatever Marisol is doing. Tell me that and I’ll walk out of here right now and leave you to it.” His voice was gruff, his words harsh, but truthful. And he knew it.

I pushed him away. “It doesn’t matter Mulo! You…you are just as guilty of bringing her into my life as my father. Now you both want to scramble to clean up the mess you made!”

“He threw you to the wolves. I’m just trying to keep you from being eaten.”

“Keep me from being eaten? What?! No Mulo that’s not what you’ve done to me. You…you know what you’ve done to me. You’ve felt the pain you’ve caused me.”

“And I’ve apologized for that. You felt my remorse! You’ve forgiven me.”

I let out a heavy sigh. “You’re right, I have, but…this trip down memory lane her game has lead me on has made me reflect on a lot. I’m left with so many what-ifs it kills me!”

“Like what, Love?”

“Like what if my father had made a different choice? What if I’d never left Riverview? What if you…” I stopped myself on the last one. This would get me no-where. Questioning the past couldn’t change my current situation. What was done, was done and I just had to find a way to survive it like everything else.

“What if I what?” Mulo pressed. He stood closer to me, those feelings from earlier worming their way back into my consciousness.

Our eyes locked, his features were soft; caring. There was something between us that Marcus didn’t understand and hated. If I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn’t fully understand it either. Mulo had hurt me in many ways, yet I was pulled to him. The connection we had was one of the great mysteries of the world. Even now as he stood in front of me part of me was happy to see him.

“Have you ever thought about what our lives could have been like if you weren’t such an ass?”

He smirked. “I suspect we would have traveled a lot and spent quite a bit of time in bed,” he answered.

I rolled my eyes. “Always comes back to sex with you doesn’t it? I’m being serious, Mulo.”

“I am too.”

“So the only reason you wanted me was for your personal concubine?”

His arms wrapped around my waist. His presence was overwhelming like always. “That is a divine idea,” he whispered into my ear, “but you know you mean more than that to me.”

I turned my head to look at him. Our lips were mere centimeters apart. If either of us moved, they would connect, and if that happened all hell would break loose. The desire pulsated around us thick and hot. The warm heat of his slow exhales tickled my face. We stood close, the arm around my waist held our bodies pressed together. My body temperature rose and there was a tingling of excitement between my legs as my arousal grew. He waited; waited for me to make the first move, to let him know that it was okay. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply.

“Do I know that?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Mulo’s free hand caressed my cheek, his thumb slowly ran across my lips. “Yes, Love.”

“Then why? Why make me suffer? Why cause me pain and heartache? Why not stand beside me through this crazy thing Marisol inflicted upon me instead of making it worse? All you had to do was love me Mulo. Was that too much to ask?”

I was alone. The heat of his body taken away as he pulled from our embrace.

“I do, but I’m not a traditional man, Love, therefore what you get from me won’t fall into the same category as the everyday man. Would you want me any other way?” 

There was anger in his voice. Mulo was never a man that liked his faults being pointed out, but I needed closure. I couldn’t keep living in this state of limbo. I loved him. I desired him, but something had to give. He couldn’t keep toying with my emotions and I couldn’t let him.

“No Mulo, you are who you are and I do love you for that.”

“But?”

“When things changed for you, when you started to care about me, to love me, your actions didn’t reflect that. Instead you acted like that kid on the playground pulling my pigtails because he liked me. You chose to be angry, and make things harder on me instead of just stepping up and admitting how you felt and acting accordingly.”

“We’ve been over this!” he yelled.

“Yes, we have but that doesn’t change how I feel Mulo! I am tired, and angry, and confused, and conflicted on a daily basis. I am married to a man that has had his life so fucked over simply because he loves me. Anyone in their right mind would have run away screaming given the chance but he hasn’t! He is so angry with me and when this is all over I don’t know if he’s going to stay. I sure as hell don’t make it worthwhile for him to do so.”

“His fragile ego is not my problem!”

I dropped down onto the bed, burying my face in my hand. “You’re right, it’s not. It’s mine. This thing with us…it’s a betrayal to him. Marcus doesn’t deserve this and I’m starting to think I don’t deserve him.”

“You have put that man up on some sort of pedestal and in doing so you are beating yourself up with misplaced guilt,” he said coming to kneel in front of me.

“Misplaced? Mulo a few minutes ago I was ready to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you and more…how can I not feel guilty over that? And you don’t make it easy. You said you would back off, that you would give me the space I needed to make this work with Marcus, yet at every turn you’re here. You prey on my weakness, on the feelings I have for you. You’re still causing me heartache, Mulo.”

He moved to sit beside me on the bed. “That is not intentional. I want you; I have no shame in saying that. What would you have me do, Love?”

“Walk away. Stay away.”

“What’s the saying…absence makes the heart grow fonder. I have gone away, that didn’t make you love me any less or I you.”

I let out a heavy sigh. He was right, we’d been apart before and my feelings for him were always there, but I could hope this time things would be different. I could hope that with him out of my life, I could prove myself worthy of Marcus’ love.

“You’re right. If my marriage fails, I’m sure you’d be the first one to help me pick up the pieces and at that point I wouldn’t fight it anymore, but…”

“You want the chance to find out?”

I nodded. “I love Marcus. He’s a good man and a great father and he deserves to be happy. To have a wife dedicated to him and only him. I will probably always love you Mulo, but our time has passed. I need to move on. You need to move on.”

We sat quiet for a while digesting the fact that this was the end of an era. If I could turn back the hands of time and do things over, I'm not sure if I would or not. The suffering I've endured hasn't been without its high points. My children, each of them I was blessed to have. Had things turned out differently with Mulo and I they wouldn't be here. I could no longer live in the land of what-if. My life was with Marcus now, he was my future. Mulo needed to be my past.

“You never said why you were here.”

His hand covered mine and he pressed his lips to my forehead. “To tell you how we're going to kill Marisol.”

Continue Reading: "Chapter 121-The Hands of Time"

Chapter 120-Full Circle

George and I spoke very little on the plane and even less in the car ride to the house. I should have warned Mom, I know it, but to say what?  When the car pulled up outside, I couldn’t make myself get out. Marisol was intent on hurting me and everyone around me in this quest. My mother had been through enough and now she was about to suffer more.

“Ready?”

I stepped out of the car and headed up the stone walkway to Mom’s new house. I’d not been here since she moved. After the divorce was finalized, she’d stayed in my childhood home for a few months, but then decided it was time for a change. Dad had managed to taint the good memories she had of that place since she now felt like their entire life had been a lie.

The new one was very quaint. The vibrant rose bushes that lined the front of the small house gave it a lot of character. Stack-stone pillars flanked either side of the covered front porch area. The house was smaller than the one I grew up in, but it was the perfect size for just her. It sat on a quiet, tree lined street in one of those planned communities. Mom’s house was cute, and inviting. A stark contrast to the place George now lived. We’d stopped by there so he could drop off his luggage first. I think he was really stalling, trying to buy time before having to face Mom. They’d not spoken to each other since the sale of the house. Like me, Mom didn’t want to hear his apologies. I wondered how Marisol would leave the message since Mom didn’t mention getting any visitors recently.

There were two cars parked in her drive way. Mom’s small compact, and a bright red Mercedes. After ringing the bell, we both waited. Through the glass-pane front door, I couldn’t see Mom but then she appeared coming out of a room. She was securing the sash of her robe and smoothing down her hair.

“Amari? What a surprise.” She sounded nervous and glanced back over her shoulder towards the door. “Why…why didn’t you call?” Her eyes then settled on George. Whatever she was about to say was halted by the sound of a deep masculine voice calling out her name.

“Kathy, baby, who is it?” Seconds later he appeared in the doorway, shirtless and still in the act of fixing the belt buckle of his tan slacks.

My eyes went to him then back to my mother who was wearing a robe at one in the afternoon and her hair was disheveled. My mother was having afternoon sex. My mother was having afternoon sex with a hot younger guy and we’d interrupted. Mom stepped to the side to let us in. She shot daggers at George and the man walked up and put his arm around her waist.

“Adrian this is Amari. And that is the ex.”

“A pleasure to meet you finally,” he said extending his hand out to me. “Kitty has told me so much about you and the grandkids, I feel like I know you already.” Adrian smiled at me flashing a beautiful set of perfectly white teeth.

Mom looked up at him adoringly. She’d mentioned she was seeing someone, but I never imagined this would be who. I was happy for her, Dad hadn’t taken the best years of her life after all.

“It’s nice to meet you too. Sorry for the…interruption,” I replied trying to keep the smile off my face.

Adrian’s smile got bigger as color flooded Mom’s face. “I have to get back to the office anyway.”

He cut his eyes over at George who hadn’t said a word. The men sized each other up. Adrian gave Mom a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back to the room he’d come from.

“Have a seat, and let me get decent,” Mom said before disappearing.

George looked pissed as he kept his eyes focused on the now closed bedroom door. I glanced around Mom’s new place. The main living area was one large room consisting of the living room and kitchen area but had enough separation that they felt like two distinct spaces. The color choices she’d made all complimented each other. Her home was stylish decorated, different from the practical, homey décor our old place had. The place boasted the bold new her.

She’d lost weight, and looked to be in great shape because of it. The shorter hair style gave her a youthful appearance. I wasn’t sure the age difference between Adrian and Mom, but they seemed happy with each other. She deserved that. 

A few minutes later the door opened, Mom stepped out first but Adrian pulled her back into his arms kissing her. I had a feeling that was for George’s benefit. He then whispered something in Mom’s ear and she giggled. Giggled like a school girl. He said his goodbyes to me and was gone.

“Amari dear would you like something to drink?” she asked walking into the kitchen. She pulled out a pitcher of lemonade and carried it over to the table.

“Thanks,” I said reaching for a glass. “Sorry for not calling…”

“You look good Kathy,” George said interrupting me.

She briefly looked at him before turning back to me. “I admit seeing you was a surprise, especially since we just talked yesterday. And…” she got up and went into a different room, coming back with an envelope. “This came for you this morning. I was going to call you later, odd you getting mail here.”

I took the item from her. I hadn’t told her about Ceula when we talked, I didn’t want to worry her, but I knew she was going to want answers.

“Are you just going to pretend I’m not here?” George asked angrily. “We were married for nearly thirty years, and I can’t get a hello?”

“You have a lot of nerve George Vinson thinking you deserve anything!” she snapped. “I don’t owe you a damn thing, you should be happy I allowed you into my home and not push for more. For my daughter…”

“Our daughter,” he corrected.

“MY daughter, to show up here, unannounced and with you in tow can’t mean anything good, but whatever it is will be told to me from her. You sit and stay quiet so I can pretend you aren’t here!”

George pressed his lips together in a tight line. He would never change. He totally blew apart our lives for his own selfish gains yet he wanted to somehow play the victim.

“Now, Amari, I know you didn’t fly here because you had an urge to see me. What’s going on?”

I glanced over at George. “Marisol…she, she’s taken Ceula.”

Mom gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. “Taken? What? When?”

“Shortly after I returned home. Since I can’t have more children, she took her. Marisol is set on revenge that goes past George at this point. She’s playing some sort of game. Leaving me riddles, clues and I have no choice but to play along if I want to find Cece.”

Mom whipped her head over to look at George. “Was it worth it?!” she yelled. “Your selfish ways have had an unbelievable ripple effect. First my children, now my grandchildren have to suffer! Get…out!”

“Kathy! I didn’t plan on this. Marisol, she’s gone off the deep end. I can’t be blamed for that!”

“Like hell you can’t.” I said. “You send her into my life. Everything that has happened since is a direct effect of that choice!”

George got up and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Both Mom and I took deep breaths.

“Why doesn’t he just take responsibility for what he did?”

“Because he’s always been a proud man, even if that pride is misplaced. He will refuse to admit he failed, not matter how much his failure is staring him in the face.”

Mom pulled me into a hug and we sat comforting each other quietly for a while.

“So, riddles?”

I nodded. “Marisol has been dredging up every painful memory she could think of.”

“And one of those brought you to me?”

I shook my head. “This one was directed at George really. He, um showed up…quite out of the blue…” I thought on that for a moment.

I’d not spoken to him, so how did he know he was needed? It was too much of a coincidence. So did she send him? If so, why would she help me? But then again being faced with George was not a pleasant experience.

“Of course he factors in. So, that,” she said indicating towards the envelope on the table, “would be another clue?”

I leaned down to pick it up. “Most likely.” I tore open the piece of mail. A small piece of paper was inside. I read it, then crumbled it up, throwing it angrily across the room.

Mom got up to retrieve it. “Mirror, mirror on the wall. It’s her face you still see after-all. Her face?” I nodded.  “She means?”

“Yeah.”

The look on Mom’s face let me know her feelings. It was the same devastating feeling I had when Marisol brought the twins into her sick game. Nothing was off limits for her. Her hatred, as misplaced as it was, knew no bounds.

“Mom, I’m sorry…”

“Nonsense, this is not your doing. The one to blame has run away like the coward he is.”

Since George left, Mom had to be the one to take me to the cemetery.

It had been an emotional day. The message at Amella’s grave wasn’t a riddle, it simply said see you soon. Mom wanted me to stay the night with her, but I wanted to be alone. To do something I’d not done in a very long time, drown my sorrows at the bottom of a bottle. I wanted my child back. I wanted Marisol dead. I wanted this nightmare to be over. But my hands were tied. Without another clue, I was forced to wait on Marisol to make contact. I called Marcus to let him know I’d be home in the morning and I was about to settled down for the night when there was a knock at my door.

“Hello, Love.”

Continue Reading: "Chapter 120-Full Circle"