The first week I was here there was no contact from David and I thought maybe he didn't care that I had left. It made sense seeing as I wasn't really the one he was after but then I started getting the phone calls. The person wouldn't speak but I knew it was him. I didn't want to worry anyone so I kept it to myself. They increased in frequency to the point my phone was ringing every ten minutes. I stopped answering it and would leave it in my room. My mind started playing tricks on me making me think I would see him staring at me through a window or see his reflection in the mirror. Mom noticed my jumpy behavior but I told her I just wasn't sleeping well.
Neither she nor Marcus wanted to leave me home alone but I was starting to feel suffocated by all the attention. I finally convinced them to go out for a date and I would stay and watch the boys. It was going to be movie night for us.
"CeCe tell Dax I get to choose the movie."
"Dax you and Dunham need to find one you two can agree on." The doorbell rang,
"Pizza's here."
"Ok I will get it you two figure out what we will be watching." My heart stopped when I opened the door. "David, what are you doing here."
"I came to bring you home. Did you really think I was going to let you leave me?" he pushed his way into the house.
"Get rid of the brats." He hissed in my ear when he saw the boys looking at him.
"Who's that?" Dax asked.
"Um, he's a friend. You and Dunham go to your room for a minute please."
"But we were going to watch movies, and where's the pizza?"
"We will I promise. I just need to talk to him for a minute."
Reluctantly they left the room but I saw Dunham glance back as David grabbed my arm.
"You won't be watching a movie tonight. The house is filthy and my bed is cold." He said yanking me by the back of the neck. "Now let's go."
"I...I can't. I can't leave them here alone." I was scared and the tears were already falling.
He twisted my arm behind my back and I cried out from the pain. "Are you talking back to me? Get your ass in the car now or I will go take care of the brats. That way you won't have to worry about them being alone." He pushed me to the floor then started walking back towards their room.
"No please David, I...I'll go just leave them alone." I saw them peeking around the corner. David stopped and turned back to me.
"That's a smart decision. Now let's go. I'll decide on your punishment later."
"Can I at least say goodbye to them?" Before he could answer the doorbell rang.
"Who is that?"
"We ordered pizza."
He walked over and opened the door.
"Hey Mike what are you guys what are you doing here?" That didn't sound like a conversation for a pizza guy
"We got a 911 call from some kids saying there was a man hurting their sister." I looked down the hall and saw them still peeking around the corner. I smiled, they were such smart little boys.
"You must have the wrong address. No one here is hurt."
"Ok, man sorry for the hassle."
"David if you don't mind we need to hear that from the homeowner." this was a female officers voice. It was clear that she wasn't as keen to just take his word for it.
"Well she's in the bathroom right now."
"We'll wait." the lady officer was standing her ground.
"What's your problem Jan, I told you everything's fine."
"Yes but this is a domestic call and I won't leave until I speak to the other party."
David turned his head and shot me a warning look before he stepped aside to let them in. He walked over and put his arm around my waist pulling me next to him.
"Baby tell them everything is fine." I looked at the ground because I knew my face would betray my words. The female officer walked up to me and pulled me away from David.
"Miss are you ok with us leaving you here with him." I could feel David's eyes boring a hole in my back. If I said yes then I was going to be forced back into a life with him, if I said no I knew he would try again and might hurt someone else. Then I thought about my brothers who were trying to come to my rescue. The words were caught in my throat so all I could do was shake my head no.
It's now been two months since I left David. Each day gets a little easier but it is still hard. I still miss him sometimes, I know that sounds crazy but I do. Mom and Marcus have been great. Marcus handled explaining to Dax and Dunham about my face and what they witnessed when David showed up at the house. We all sat at the kitchen table and Marcus explained to the boys that there are mean people in the world. Mom kept wiping tears from her eyes as he told them how I use to be friends with one of those mean people but I didn't know they were mean at first. They took that explanation fairly well and promised never to turn into a mean person. The boys were really sweet and when they were home one of them if not both were always close to me. It was like I had my own little bodyguards. One night Dunham heard me crying and wandered into my room.
"CeCe did you have a nightmare?"
"Yes something like that."
"Don't cry, I'll sleep with you." He climbed up on the bed and for some reason having him there did make me feel better. Sometime during the night Dax also joined us, I laid there still unable to sleep but for very different reasons. I learned that night that little boys are wild sleepers, but it was that night that I felt things might be ok after all.
I still didn't press charges but we did have an order of protection in place now. That gave mom a little more peace of mind considering she was shouldering loads of guilt. The incident at the house prompted me to decide to terminate the pregnancy however when I got to the appointment I couldn't go through with it. I could feel that they all disagreed with my decision but considering my history and state of mind, none of them pressed me. I am going to carry the baby to term then give it up for adoption. I knew I couldn't raise the child, that would be too painful but I couldn't kill it either. I am in therapy now and Mulo has arranged some more in depth therapy for when I go to France with him. He promises me I will forget all about David and the awful things he did but I don't think that is possible.
Today we are all putting my issues aside to celebrate. It's my mom's wedding day.
******So I apologize for not having any pictures. This was a small installment to wrap up Ceula's situation which is also why it didn't get a chapter number.*********
Continue Reading: "Road to Recovery"
Neither she nor Marcus wanted to leave me home alone but I was starting to feel suffocated by all the attention. I finally convinced them to go out for a date and I would stay and watch the boys. It was going to be movie night for us.
"CeCe tell Dax I get to choose the movie."
"Dax you and Dunham need to find one you two can agree on." The doorbell rang,
"Pizza's here."
"Ok I will get it you two figure out what we will be watching." My heart stopped when I opened the door. "David, what are you doing here."
"I came to bring you home. Did you really think I was going to let you leave me?" he pushed his way into the house.
"Get rid of the brats." He hissed in my ear when he saw the boys looking at him.
"Who's that?" Dax asked.
"Um, he's a friend. You and Dunham go to your room for a minute please."
"But we were going to watch movies, and where's the pizza?"
"We will I promise. I just need to talk to him for a minute."
Reluctantly they left the room but I saw Dunham glance back as David grabbed my arm.
"You won't be watching a movie tonight. The house is filthy and my bed is cold." He said yanking me by the back of the neck. "Now let's go."
"I...I can't. I can't leave them here alone." I was scared and the tears were already falling.
He twisted my arm behind my back and I cried out from the pain. "Are you talking back to me? Get your ass in the car now or I will go take care of the brats. That way you won't have to worry about them being alone." He pushed me to the floor then started walking back towards their room.
"No please David, I...I'll go just leave them alone." I saw them peeking around the corner. David stopped and turned back to me.
"That's a smart decision. Now let's go. I'll decide on your punishment later."
"Can I at least say goodbye to them?" Before he could answer the doorbell rang.
"Who is that?"
"We ordered pizza."
He walked over and opened the door.
"Hey Mike what are you guys what are you doing here?" That didn't sound like a conversation for a pizza guy
"We got a 911 call from some kids saying there was a man hurting their sister." I looked down the hall and saw them still peeking around the corner. I smiled, they were such smart little boys.
"You must have the wrong address. No one here is hurt."
"Ok, man sorry for the hassle."
"David if you don't mind we need to hear that from the homeowner." this was a female officers voice. It was clear that she wasn't as keen to just take his word for it.
"Well she's in the bathroom right now."
"We'll wait." the lady officer was standing her ground.
"What's your problem Jan, I told you everything's fine."
"Yes but this is a domestic call and I won't leave until I speak to the other party."
David turned his head and shot me a warning look before he stepped aside to let them in. He walked over and put his arm around my waist pulling me next to him.
"Baby tell them everything is fine." I looked at the ground because I knew my face would betray my words. The female officer walked up to me and pulled me away from David.
"Miss are you ok with us leaving you here with him." I could feel David's eyes boring a hole in my back. If I said yes then I was going to be forced back into a life with him, if I said no I knew he would try again and might hurt someone else. Then I thought about my brothers who were trying to come to my rescue. The words were caught in my throat so all I could do was shake my head no.
It's now been two months since I left David. Each day gets a little easier but it is still hard. I still miss him sometimes, I know that sounds crazy but I do. Mom and Marcus have been great. Marcus handled explaining to Dax and Dunham about my face and what they witnessed when David showed up at the house. We all sat at the kitchen table and Marcus explained to the boys that there are mean people in the world. Mom kept wiping tears from her eyes as he told them how I use to be friends with one of those mean people but I didn't know they were mean at first. They took that explanation fairly well and promised never to turn into a mean person. The boys were really sweet and when they were home one of them if not both were always close to me. It was like I had my own little bodyguards. One night Dunham heard me crying and wandered into my room.
"CeCe did you have a nightmare?"
"Yes something like that."
"Don't cry, I'll sleep with you." He climbed up on the bed and for some reason having him there did make me feel better. Sometime during the night Dax also joined us, I laid there still unable to sleep but for very different reasons. I learned that night that little boys are wild sleepers, but it was that night that I felt things might be ok after all.
I still didn't press charges but we did have an order of protection in place now. That gave mom a little more peace of mind considering she was shouldering loads of guilt. The incident at the house prompted me to decide to terminate the pregnancy however when I got to the appointment I couldn't go through with it. I could feel that they all disagreed with my decision but considering my history and state of mind, none of them pressed me. I am going to carry the baby to term then give it up for adoption. I knew I couldn't raise the child, that would be too painful but I couldn't kill it either. I am in therapy now and Mulo has arranged some more in depth therapy for when I go to France with him. He promises me I will forget all about David and the awful things he did but I don't think that is possible.
Today we are all putting my issues aside to celebrate. It's my mom's wedding day.
******So I apologize for not having any pictures. This was a small installment to wrap up Ceula's situation which is also why it didn't get a chapter number.*********
