Seeing that sign in the front yard made everything real. After Amari told me she wanted to sell, the next day she called out a realtor and we signed the paperwork. We didn’t talk much about it, but we didn’t talk much about anything since she’d gotten home. I’d shut her out and after our fight, so she stopped trying to get in. Being near Amari hurt and I turned that pain into anger fully directed at her. Nearly every comment I’d made to her seemed to inflict pain.
I wasn’t trying
to, or at least I didn’t believe I was trying to be so spiteful towards her,
but deep down I wanted her to hurt like I hurt. She took it. She didn’t try to
fight back or defend herself, she just took it. She’d given up on us, threw
away what we could have had. I hated what she’d done to us. I hated her choices
and her actions that led us down this path, and as angry as I was at her, I
hated that she made me want to hurt her like that. I loved that woman, and
after being reunited again, I thought it was our destiny to be together forever
after all the forces that tried to keep us apart failed.
I loved her.
I’ve only ever loved Amari, even when she left me behind after her sister’s
death, I still loved her. I don’t know if I knew how to live without loving
her, but I was going to have to figure it out.
Getting out of
the car, I took a deep breath and put my game face on. It was strange walking
up to the door as a visitor. This was our home, the place we were going to
raise our family and grow old together. This house held so much promise. We’d
renewed our wedding vows in the backyard, she’d recommitted to me, to us and I
really thought we had a chance. His interference, her love of him, it chipped
away at what I now know to have been a shaky foundation until it collapsed.
When I
approached the front door, I started to unlock it, but stopped. This wasn’t my
home anymore, I’d moved out two weeks ago, I couldn’t just walk in like I still
belonged here. I rang the bell.
“Here mom, I
think she’s hungry.” I heard Amari say.
“I’ll get it.”
Finley called out. “Daddy!” she said throwing her arms around my neck.
“Hey
kiddo.” It was hard to believe she was
graduating in a few days. “Interesting choice of color,” I said picking up a
lock of her hair.
“What do you
mean interesting? It’s my natural color.”
“That’s why it’s
interesting. I don’t think I’ve seen that since you were little,” I joked.
Finley playfully
hit my arm before turning to head back into the house. The sounds of talking
and the cooing of the babies greeted me as I followed.
“Marcus, how
nice to see you,” Kathy said walking over to give me a hug. “I want you to meet
Adrian.”
