***Dunham's POV
“Watch your mouth dude!”
“Or what? I’m just saying out loud what you can’t!”
“Boys, you both need to calm down before you both say things you don’t mean.”
Jonas and Carter were taking turns keep an eye on us since mom just ran off. When we got home from school we thought it was odd she wasn’t there. She hadn’t left the house since dad went missing except for when Carter would take her to the doctor.
“What you mean like I can’t believe I shared the womb with such a self centered egotistical prick!”
“Self centered? Whatever man. Just because I don’t want to spend my days all sad and depressed doesn’t make me self centered it makes me realistic.”
I wanted to punch him. As the days went on he became more and more angry making snide remarks at me, and mom. At school he was all about his friends, acting as if our world hadn’t been turned upside down. I stepped closer and we were in a stare down. I was finally tired of his attitude.
“Guys, back up and calm down.” Jonas was desperately trying to keep the situation from getting out of control but it wasn’t working.
“Hey what’s going on here?” We all turned at the sound of her voice.
“Oh look who decided to come back and take responsibility for her children.” Dax was the first to speak.
“Don’t take that tone with me.”
“Oh sorry mom. You’re right. You run off for three freakin days and then just show back up. Let me grovel at your feet in appreciation.”
“Hey man, stop it.” I said shoving him in the chest.
“Three days?” She mumbled half to herself. “I only went to…I went…” We watched as she walked over to the couch in a daze as if she were trying to remember. Jonas and I were instantly by her side while Dax stood there saying nothing. Jonas was stroking mom’s back looking very concerned.
“Amari?”
“I don’t understand. I couldn’t have been gone three days.”
“Great…our one remaining parent has gone looney.”
“Zip it you jackass.” I said getting back in his face.
“Stop it both of you!” We both turned to face her.
***
I had a splitting headache and the last thing I expected was to walk into my house to find my sons at each other’s throats. The tension between them was thick. I didn’t even know when they went from being best friends to what appeared to be worst enemies.
“I don’t know what is going on, but you both need to calm down.”
Neither of them said anything. Dax looked so angry and Dunham looked relieved. Jonas had to pull Dunham away to keep him from attempting to punch his brother.
“Now what is this three day nonsense? I have only been gone a few hours.”
All three men stared at me as if I had lost my mind.
“Amari, the boys came home from school on Wednesday and you weren’t home. Today is Saturday.” They were lying, they had to be. I couldn’t; I wouldn't have just left like that.
“No, that’s not…possible” God I was losing it. Why couldn’t I remember?
“Amari, I think we should get you to the hospital.” Jonas said putting his arm around me.
“No! I don’t need a hospital I need to know what the hell is going on.”
“I’ll tell you. You have finally cracked under the pressure.” Dax said, his voice full of disdain.
“Not now dude!” Dunham said through clenched teeth.
“Yes now. Instead of our remaining parent doing what she should and take care of us she runs off and leaves for three days.”
“This is the last time I’m warning you. Shut your trap!”
“I’m tired of tip toeing around her. Dad’s gone, probably dead. Why is it that I am the…” Silence over took the room as the rest of his sentence was cut off when my hand made contact with his face. I saw the sadness and anger in his face when he turned back to face me.
“Don’t you ever say that again. Your father…” I paused taking a breath to steady my nerves. “Your father would be so ashamed of you right now.” For a brief moment regret flashed across his face but it was quickly replaced with a calm indifference.
“Whatever, I’m outta here.” He pushed past me then walked out the door slamming it behind him. I stood there unable to move. I knew Marcus’s disappearance had an effect on the boys. I expected sadness and confusion. I didn’t expect my son to be so angry and hateful.
“I’m tired.” I whispered before I felt my body sway.
“Don’t worry. I got you.”
“Dunham call 911.”
***
It felt like a dream. I heard the sounds of people whispering around me but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Some of the voices sounded familiar but others didn’t. In the background was the constant sound of what seemed to be an underwater drum. My eyes fluttered open finally bringing me out of the dream.
“Welcome back.” I turned to see Carter standing beside me.
“Hey.” I replied giving him a weak smile. The drumming noise caught my attention. I was in the hospital and that was the sound of the babies’ heartbeats.
“What happened?”
“You passed out. You were dehydrated and your iron count was dangerously low.”
“Fantastic. How long do I have to stay here? The boys need me at home.” I started to get out of bed.
“Whoa not so fast. You will be under observation for another 24 hours because your iron count is still too low.” I leaned back against the pillows frantically trying to piece the last few days together.
“Dax.” I said trying to get out of bed again.
“No you don’t understand. He was angry and I was gone. Then I hit. Oh God Carter I slapped my son.” I covered my face in shame as I remembered the fight I had with him. How could I have done that? Carter sat next to me on the bed trying to console me.
“Sshh…he’s fine. He’s at home. Everything can be worked out.”
“Hey look Sleeping Beauty is awake.” Jonas said with a smile as he entered the room.
“Perfect timing. I gotta go do rounds.” Carter got up and headed for the door after giving me a kiss on top of my head.
“Thanks Carter.”
“Thanks aren’t required.” He smiled and walked out.
“Thank you as well Jonas. I don’t know what I would have done without you both.” He took the seat beside my bed before flipping on the TV.
“Like he said. Thanks aren’t required. We are happy to help.”
“I know, but still. I have been such a mess and I thank you for not thinking I’m a total nutcase.” He and Carter were great and I was beyond lucky to have them as friends.
I was released the next day with strict bed rest orders. I was expecting either Carter or Jonas to drive me home instead it was my father that walked through the door.
“What are you doing here?”
“Taking you home.” He reached around me to take my suitcase.
I opened my mouth to let him know how I felt about him being anywhere near me when mom walked in.
“Oh honey we have been so worried about you.” She said pulling me into a hug. “I have been in contact with Lillian. I feel so bad for them and you, my grandchildren.”
“Hi mom.”
“Honey what happened, why did you run off like that? Where did you go?” She was firing questions a mile a minute.
“Kathy dear. Let’s get her home then we’ll talk.”
The car ride was tense. Mom tried to make idle chatter while dad kept glancing at me in the rear view mirror. Dad took my bag upstairs when we got home.
“I really love the new house dear. It has plenty of room for you and the growing family.”
“Thanks mom.” I glanced around my living room. This house was supposed to be our new start.
A place we made happy memories. I sighed as I let my hand run along the mantle.
“Amari. Why didn’t you ask us to come out?” I caught the sadness in her voice. It hurt me to know I limited contact with my mom in order to avoid my father.
“I don’t know mom. The Smith’s were here. There was a lot going on and I was, am barely holding it together.”
“We’re your parents. We are here for you. You could have called us.” She started crying.
“No worries.” She said quickly drying her eyes. “We’re here now so we will help you get through this.”
“Where are the boys?”
“They are staying with Aric and Nina.”
“I need to go over there. I need to talk to them.”
“You can’t drive. You’re on bed rest.”
“Mom I need to talk to them. It’s important.”
“Tomorrow dear. Right now you need to get up to bed. Doctor’s orders.”
My room, the one place I was the loneliest. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the remaining eight weeks of my pregnancy trapped in this room. I really needed to talk to the boys, especially Dax
. I needed to apologize; I needed him to forgive me. I had never hit any of my children and I was sick over the fact I had slapped him.
“Marcus I need you now more than ever.” I whispered to myself. “They need you.” My hands were shaking when I took out my phone to call Dax
. It rang and rang then went to voicemail. I called Dunham’s
phone next.
“Hey mom. Are you home now?”
“Yes got release about an hour ago. How are you?”
“Good. Aric thought we should spend some time over here you know because of everything.”
“Yeah. How’s your brother?”
“Still being a prick but Aric is great at keeping him in line. Even without the use of Jedi mind tricks.” I couldn’t help but laugh. He was trying to keep things light hearted for me.
“Where is he?”
“Aric is teaching him some martial arts. Says it will teach him anger management and give him a place to direct it.” I was happy to know he wasn’t ignoring my calls.
“Ok. Well will you guys be home tomorrow?”
“Yes, I have debate club but will be home after.”
“Ok sweetie. I love you and will talk to you both tomorrow.”
“Love you too mom.”
I felt a little better after that call. Aric called me later and informed me that the girls were home. I also got check up calls from both my girls.
The next morning I found dad making coffee when I wandered into the kitchen.
"Why are you out of bed?"
“I’m hungry and what does it matter to you?” I saw him clenching his jaw. He obviously wanted to say something but was trying to hold back.
“Why did you come? Mom could have come by herself.” He put his cup on the counter and glared at me.
“Do you know what that little stunt of yours did to her? She was in full panic mode the moment we got the call you had run off like some irresponsible teenager.”
Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm.
“You have no right to make comment or pass any sort of judgment on my behavior.” I tried to keep my voice steady. I really didn’t want to fight with him. I only wanted him out of my house.
“I have every right. I am your father. You left those boys when they needed you the most. They already have one parent missing and you thought it was a good idea to take off for days without any word. Did you even stop to think what that would do them?”
I was stunned at the words he just said to me. He was standing in my house passing judgment on my parental skills. Calm and controlled went out the window and I only saw red.
“You sorry bastard! How dare you stand there and lecture me on parenting and consideration?”
“We aren’t going to talk about that again are we?”
“Yes because you aren’t sorry for the hell you cause me. You are just as cold hearted and selfish today as you were then. Being human hasn’t changed that for you. You gave me away traded the life of me and my sister to keep what you wanted. You didn’t give a rat’s ass what that would do to me. This is all your fault! You pissed off Marisol yet I’m the one paying for it and now my children are paying for it. The fact that I have to share DNA with you makes me nauseous.”
“I told you I had no idea what she had planned!” he yelled
“It didn’t matter what she had planned. You knew it couldn’t be anything good yet you made the deal anyway.”
“Damn it Amari what do you want from me? I can’t change things now. Can’t we find a way…”
“If you are going to say get passed it then you’re dreaming. I can't get passed the fact that the one man that should protect me at all costs is the very one that put me in harms way to begin with. I can't get passed the fact that you are the cause of my sister’s death. And I can't get passed the fact that your entire marriage to my mother has been a web of lies and deceit. I have lost more than you can ever imagine because of you. No dad…there’s no way for us to get passed this.”
I was so angry I was shaking. The tears were streaming down my face as I gave way to all the pent up rage I still had towards him.
“George…what is she talking about?”
Neither of us heard my mom enter the kitchen. My dad looked sick when he saw her standing there, the tears in her eyes and her face full of confusion.
“Kathy honey, it’s nothing. She’s just angry and lashing out.” He shot me an angry glare as he tried to go comfort her.
“No!” She said backing up from him.
“I…I heard her. She said you caused Amella’s death. What is she talking about? Amari what did you mean?” I could only let out a heavy sigh.
“Mom.”
“You two have been at odds since you came back to Riverview the first time. No more lies. Tell me what the hell is going on now!”
“Kathy I love you. Everything I have done has been because I love you.”
“Just tell me what’s going on here? Amari should not be getting upset. We just picked her up from the hospital yet here you are fighting with her. What is wrong with you?”
“I have made many mistakes. Some I wish I could go back and change but don’t doubt that it was all done out of love. You have to know that.”
For the first time my father looked scared. Gone was the heartless man that barely wanted to apologize for what pain he has caused, replaced by a man that saw everything he has worked so hard for crumbling down around him. I couldn’t help but to be a little satisfied at his pain but it was tainted knowing the heartache my mom was getting ready to experience. We all walked into the dining room.
We sat and then in a very matter of fact tone, he began explaining it all. I could only sit there and witness the horror that spread across her face. I would have done anything for her not to have known the truth. She was just as innocent in this as I was.
“I’m sorry Kathy. Please forgive me.” Mom slid her hand out of his and stood up. She walked over to me and held out her hand.
“You should be in bed.”
“Mom? Are you ok?”
“Of course dear. Let’s get you upstairs and into bed.” She put her arms around my shoulder.
“George you should pack your stuff and go.”
